To think DP is being a dick about this?

[BlairWaldorfsHeadband]

I’m 18 weeks pregnant with twins, and I’m high risk. I have complex mental health issues that include very severe anxiety.

DP insists he needs to sleep for 12 hours everyone day otherwise he feels exhausted and upset. It keeps causing arguments.

I have told DP that his sleep impacts on our lives because it stops us doing family days out, it means I have to manage DC1, who has SN, alone every morning and make the breakfasts and get ready and get organised while pregnant. It means I barely get any time with DP.

He keeps saying he will sort it and every time I bring it up I’m “nagging” which apparently makes him resistant to change and makes him less likely to sort it.

He then says I have a weird fixation on what’s “normal” and if I just accepted as a family we do things differently I would be happy.

But I am not happy. I don’t want the kind of childhood for my DCs where this happens. I come from a family where we used to get up early and go to visit castles, go for picnics, and have days out. Not waste our lives in bed. It makes me depressed and contributes to how isolated and anxious I feel.

Apparently when I mention this I am unsupportive and uncaring about his issues. He insists it’s a medical problem.

I have tried implementing household sleep schedules, letting him have a day without the dc to lie in, making him a strong coffee, but all that does is get me accused of being a control freak who wants to control his sleeping.

It’s not me is it? He’s making me doubt myself. He is being a massive dickhead isn’t it he?!

I mean if it’s true (which is so very unlikely, it breaks all protocol and just imagine having boundaries so loose that your patients or their partners (!) can ring you at will and you prescribe a new medication without a proper consultation, let alone the professional risks if something went wrong with that new medication) then that psychiatrist must be either the most bored (hence immediate call back) or the most popular in all of the U.K!

I’m perfectly fine. I do not need support from anyone.

If you don’t believe me, that’s fine. I asked for advice, got some useful advice. Really could not give two shits what you think.

Not a single poster has said they know your situation better than you.

No-one is 'forcing' you to do anything. It's no skin off anyone's nose here what you do.

You asked for advice and you don't like the answer.

I’ve said explicitly I don’t need support yet posters keep insisting on it. I wanted advice for a specific issue.

My anxiety is irrelevant and I deal with it fine.

Did he have this disorder before you had kids??

He’s a massively selfish bellend.

I have to admit that rang false with me too Communist.

I'm bowing out because I have doubts about the whole thing.

I understand that you're frustrated and it must seem as though he's being really selfish but he may have a genuine problem. Some people have a different circadian rhythm. He may have sleep apnoea. Or it may just be the depression which can have a massive effect on sleeping. Especially if he's been suicidal. My fiance suffers depression and has been known to sleep for many hours. Either way, I think calling him a dick is a bit harsh and that he may need genuine help.

I think saying he was being a dick was wrong of me, I was frustrated. We’ve sorted it to some extent and have a plan in place.

Op have you ever been assessed for ASD/aspergers?

I’d recommend it.

Yes,“likely mild aspergers” was the result. But it’s not exactly concrete.

Yes,“likely mild aspergers” was the result. But it’s not exactly concrete

What do you mean by that? Is it a diagnosis or not. Being on the spectrum is no excuse for the way you've responded to others on this thread though.

They said that on the balance of probability, it was likely aspergers but it was mild and not certain.

I wasn’t rude until someone kept repeatedly saying the issue was something it wasn’t.

Considering my dc is autistic and I also have ADHD and anxiety, I’m inclined to agree I am on the spectrum somewhere.

Blair hide the thread, you’re responding to every negative comment and that is not helping your mental health, whatever you might think.

If all you’ve said is true , staying here is not helping.

You have complex mental health issues and he needs 12 hours sleep.
It's a draw.

Tell you what, I don’t agree with everything this OP is doing, but some of you are being complete dickheads

do not need anyone’s support. I am fine on my own. Fucking hell, people are annoying. I have explicitly stated I neither need nor want it. Stop attempting to force it on me

Thankfully you won't be able to tell the peri natal mental health team to fuck off. Whether you want help or not they will be very interested in monitoring you.

Thankfully you won't be able to tell the peri natal mental health team to fuck off. Whether you want help or not they will be very interested in monitoring you.

Well, they aren’t. They’re quite happy with me, as are my own team. Sorry random internet strangers, guess it hurts to be wrong.

Why would you say thankfully as if you’re taking joy in something unpleasant happening to someone? What is wrong with you?

There are some proper goady fuckers on this thread. Who the hell do you think you are ?

Sniping at the op, hoping to get a reaction to prove you are right about her "instability". Lay the fuck off.

How sad to try and force support on someone who doesn’t want or need it. Go virtue signal somewhere else, I’m sure there’s some people who would actually appreciate nosy strangers sticking their noses into their business.

Posting on AIBU causes people to respond because we’re all nosey cunts.