To think DP is being a dick about this?

[BlairWaldorfsHeadband]

I’m 18 weeks pregnant with twins, and I’m high risk. I have complex mental health issues that include very severe anxiety.

DP insists he needs to sleep for 12 hours everyone day otherwise he feels exhausted and upset. It keeps causing arguments.

I have told DP that his sleep impacts on our lives because it stops us doing family days out, it means I have to manage DC1, who has SN, alone every morning and make the breakfasts and get ready and get organised while pregnant. It means I barely get any time with DP.

He keeps saying he will sort it and every time I bring it up I’m “nagging” which apparently makes him resistant to change and makes him less likely to sort it.

He then says I have a weird fixation on what’s “normal” and if I just accepted as a family we do things differently I would be happy.

But I am not happy. I don’t want the kind of childhood for my DCs where this happens. I come from a family where we used to get up early and go to visit castles, go for picnics, and have days out. Not waste our lives in bed. It makes me depressed and contributes to how isolated and anxious I feel.

Apparently when I mention this I am unsupportive and uncaring about his issues. He insists it’s a medical problem.

I have tried implementing household sleep schedules, letting him have a day without the dc to lie in, making him a strong coffee, but all that does is get me accused of being a control freak who wants to control his sleeping.

It’s not me is it? He’s making me doubt myself. He is being a massive dickhead isn’t it he?!

As a mental health nurse I am astonished that your mental health team have no concerns about an individual with 'complex mental health needs' who will be giving birth to twins. There should be increased monitoring as the risk of pre and post natal illness is statistically very high.

There should be increased monitoring as the risk of pre and post natal illness is statistically very high.

I’ve had a baby before and everyone thought I’d get PND. I did not.

Obviously that’s not a guarantee but hopefully it will follow the same pattern.

I don’t need “increased support” and wish people would fuck off suggesting it now. I’ve been fairly polite so far but I’m getting sick to the back teeth of armchair experts deciding they know the situation better than I or anyone else

I do not need support, from any team. I am perfectly fine. My DC is well cared for. I have lived with these conditions all my life and know how to handle them, and don’t need someone else involved. I wish people would just leave me alone.

I do not need support, from any team. I am perfectly fine.

You were so unwell you were considering refusing a vital blood test that they need in case something goes wrong during the birth. Your partner is so ill he has a consultant psychiatrist on speed dial, but you're fine.

And that’s not the reason I need it, it’s to do with making sure my body doesn’t attack the babies. Make sure your info is correct.

It's a vital test, but again, you're fine.

Telling someone to 'fuck off' breaks Talk Guidelines. But oh, the irony, inviting people to comment on the inner minutiae of your life by spilling loads of details on threads on a huge internet site, then telling anyone who doesn't pander to you to fuck off. Charming!

Be very wary. My husband prioritised his sleep above all else, regularly had 12 hour marathons. I had anxiety too and the combination of me doing all the nights and most of the days ended with me in the mother and baby unit. He would literally walk off yawning and rubbing his eyes saying he NEEDED to sleep, while it was me that really needed to rest to stop my mental health plummeting. I left him after my breakdown....

No, I asked about a specific issue. You and someone else decided to get involved and make this about my anxiety which has nothing to do with this.

Did you miss the part where I said fuck off or that your input wasn’t needed? You can go now.

Why no, I didn't miss it. It's against Talk Guidelines to tell someone to fuck off and it's not your place to tell others how they can post or when.

I feel sorry for your kids. What a mess.

No-one is thinking they know your situation better than you. They're just taking what you say on this forum for real.

I've just re-read your other thread OP to make sure I hadn't misremembered it, and I had not. Granted that depression and anxiety produce swings of mood and outlook, if what you said on that thread just a few days ago was true, then you're very far from fine. And if you are as fine as you claim on this thread, then your other thread was not true.

Many people have taken time out of their day to try to help you, and now you're just abusing them.

If you genuinely need help we're here, but don't think you can take us all for fools.

No, I asked about a specific issue. You and someone else decided to get involved and make this about my anxiety which has nothing to do with this.

You've mentioned your anxiety on this thread several times and even stated that you used to receive ESA and DLA for it, your complex mental health and his mental health issues, which are all integral to your family life.

I am perfectly fine, and I don’t need armchair experts attempting to decide what I need over the Internet.

I made a thread, which has NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS ONE, while I was stressed about something. It has since been resolved.

I do not need anyone’s support. I am fine on my own. Fucking hell, people are annoying. I have explicitly stated I neither need nor want it. Stop attempting to force it on me.

My partner is a psychiatrist. I outlined the situation the OP says happened. He was sceptical, to say the least...

Make of that what you will 🤷‍♀️

You've mentioned your anxiety on this thread several times and even stated that you used to receive ESA and DLA for it, your complex mental health and his mental health issues, which are all integral to your family life.

My anxiety isn’t what is causing the issue.

That's something to consider, Communist, especially given the abuse the OP is now giving out.

Abuse? You’re insisting on something when I’ve stated it’s not the case and are attempting to force me to do something I do not want to.

I couldn’t give a shit if you don’t believe me. You’re an unpleasant person, and I hope you grow up.

I am perfectly fine, and I don’t need armchair experts attempting to decide what I need over the Internet.
Then I suggest not posting about your intimate family life problems on the internet and asking people for help?
There's no need to be so offensive to people or try to tell them they're not allowed to post, especially when so many have tried hard to be helpful.

If you don't want people to comment on your mental health problems, and factor them into the situation with your DP, why write about them on a public forum?

I have no problem with the posters who’ve been helpful. Their advice is perfectly useful and it was kind of them.

I’m irritated by someone constantly saying they know the situation better than I do. By someone who is not staying on topic and is trying o make this about my anxiety, not the issue at hand.

That is the nature of posting on a huge internet site that is modified the way this one is, you don't get to dictate the terms of how people post.

No, I don’t, but I can reply. I was perfectly reasonable originally but you keep insisting you know the situation in more depth than I do. And it’s annoying.

What exactly are you hoping to achieve here? I’m not going to listen to a word you say. All you’re doing is being rude to someone who’s been open about having anxiety. Person of the year right there!

I don't keep saying that, just pointing out that as a family your mental health has a cumulative effect on everything. But again, you're fine . Till the next dramatic thread.