Mum gets annoyed when dad helps me financially

[Ohsaycanusee]

Aibu? I have a good job but occasionally he gives me a bit of money from their joint account to help with things. I’m mid 20s. They are very well off through sheer hard work and saving. They have always treated us and she’s not stingy per se but not careful than him :s

OP it's the references you make to how he can afford this (ie to dfs pension and their wealth etc etc) that makes me think that your mum may begrudge giving you money as regardless of weather you say your not entitled you clearly are. The attitude or stance that makes you continually point out how your parents can afford these financial top ups, when people disagree you should accept them, is what I think your mother can sense. You earn well and have savings. You also point out how able your parents are to make such top ups and as such it comes across as "well he can afford it so why shouldn't he" when the answer is clear, ie because your mother thinks they shouldn't. I'm dont have a view either way re helping your child as I help my son when needed and when not needed. However if I ever saw my son reference my wealth, pension or savings when justifying him receiving my help I would be very upset and feel he felt entitled. Therefore if I actually sensed he felt that way (as maybe your mother does) I'd begrudge if not stop any helping top ups!

There's no sense in going on berating the OP, she's long gone. She'll have hidden the thread. But I didn't see her as entitled, just defensive because of the attacks on her.

His private pension may be as large as it is because his wife sacrificed her career to enable his earning capacity. It's hers as much as his.

it comes across as "well he can afford it so why shouldn't he" when the answer is clear, ie because your mother thinks they shouldn't

Really? REALLY??!!!! Imagine the outcry on here if you said that the other way round. "Your mum shouldn't give you money from your parents' JOINT account because your father says no".

Typical MN double standards.

Imelda my Dad died recently and has left a pretty hefty sum to me that I will get in (hopefuly) many years time when my Mum passes. The reason he accumulated this was from being attacked about 20 years ago and had to take early retirement so dabbled in shares and stuff at home instead. They were planning on using that money for holidays, meals out, doing up the house and so on. Unfortunately, my Dad's ever decreasing lack of mobility meant that they never got to do those things. I am proud of my Dad's initiatives and doing these investments and stuff when he couldn't get out any more. I am extremely sad that they never got to spend that money on the things they intended it for. However, I am extremley grateful for what he has done for me, past present and future. My brother died 16 years ago and the only people left on my side of the family are Mum, me and my two children. Would I rather my Dad and bro were still here? Course I would. Money is money, you can't take it with you, it doesn't make grief any easier either.

Oops, btw that I will get in (hopefuly) many years time when my Mum passes I meant 'hopefully' many years time until Mum goes, not 'hopefully' I will get money