To be mad at MIL!

[mmmbagels]

I was in the hospital around the time of my daughter's final vaccines, and MIL said she would take her. She told me she had them done and that DD was teary but was fine.

DD is 8 months old now and I just received a letter saying it was never done. I'm bloody fuming!!!

Old isn't offensive. This is now getting away from OPs problem.

In the end age doesn't matter. The trust has still been broken and op and her DH need to discuss how they go forward in terms of her MIL seeing DD; just supervised or sometimes alone with no heavy responsibilities such as appointments.

Added with conniving trout it is offensive.

The trout and the other words are the offence not old. It's unimportant anyway

To be fair the MIL in this case fully deserves a pop or two.

She just had the cheek to invite herself to dinner on Sunday the CF!! Not only does she lie to me about vaccinating my daughter and make me feel guilty about it, she also expects me to cook her a bloody roast!! Piss off!

Craziness. Did DH not read her the riot act?

I admire her balls anyway!

Is it possible she thinks if she brazenly pretends it never happened, you won’t confront her about it?

I don’t know if I could ever get past something like this- not only did she lie about something incredibly important, but she also thought she had the same right as a parent to your DD to overrule both you and DH.

It will be a good chance to talk about under your roof on your terms.

I was so sure this would be a misunderstanding.
How the hell did she think she had the right to decide about your child's jags. If she didn't agree with then she could have declined as everyone is entitled to their own beliefs in regards to their OWN child.

How could you ever trust her with allergies? Medicine? Even simple babysitting?

I would be furious.

OMFG!!!!! How bloody dare she?!!!!!
I'd be beyond fuming I can tell you and I certainly wouldn't be bloody cooking her a roast on Sunday!
I'd refuse to ever go near her again!!!
How bloody dare she?!!!!!

Oh I'd be fuming, it is not mil place to decide whether the injections took place or not. Fair enough to have an opinion but to lie to you is way way way beyond acceptable. I believe you should outline the potential consequences that could of happened should dd got any of the diseases.

Let her come round, wait till she asks when lunch is then claim she's already had it and seemed perfectly full then. See how she appreciates being lied to and gaslighted.

I hope you and dh told her she has lost your trusts. My cousin is antivax but would not dream of this. He may tell you his opinion if you ask but this is just low, untrustworthy and wrong to you on top with her lies.

Let her come round, wait till she asks when lunch is then claim she's already had it and seemed perfectly full then.
This! Please this.

Obviously tell her to go and fuck herself! Seriously - this verges on unforgivable. A combination of putting your child in danger, undermining your parenting decisions and then LYING to you!!!!!!! Outrageous

Omfg! Has she actually apologised at all? I don't think I could get over this.

Wow. What was your response to her request for Sunday lunch?

Wow, is she really that ignorant?

Hi I’ll make a massive inappropriate decision about your child without consulting you then invite herself for dinner without so much as an apology! Wow...

Just seen update OP, how dare she undermine a decision you and DH have made regarding your Child's health, the fact she disagrees with the jabs is irrelevant - she isn't the mother to YOUR child. The fact she outright lied about it is disgraceful, I certainly wouldnt be leaving DC with her ever again!

Not defending MiLs per se and clearly this one has made a potentially fatal error and lied about it. However, perhaps she's wanting to apologise over supper/lunch or at least face to face? Perhaps OP's DH could go round beforehand and explain in words of one syllable what she's done, why she was so wrong and what it might have meant, and why she shouldn't have lied. And why it's far too early for her to come round at all given such an appalling breach of trust. And why his DS's children are at risk and risking others, too.

OP has your MIL actually taken any responsibility for what she's done and apologised to you? Not to your DH, but to you. She needs to acknowledge that she has done something very wrong, and until then I think you are well within your rights not to see her and to only let her be with DGC when supervised by your DH.

I'd cook her Sunday dinner and shove it up her arse. OhLook's suggestion is much better though.

"perhaps she's wanting to apologise over supper/lunch or at least face to face? "

Then she should be extending the invitation?

CF at its best, inviting herself to dinner. I would be telling her that we would not be seeing her for a while. Space is definitely the best option surely. By inviting herself, she seems to be under the impression she can just drop this.