To be mad at MIL!

[mmmbagels]

I was in the hospital around the time of my daughter's final vaccines, and MIL said she would take her. She told me she had them done and that DD was teary but was fine.

DD is 8 months old now and I just received a letter saying it was never done. I'm bloody fuming!!!

Perhaps there has been a clerical error, perhaps mil genuinely thinks she took lo for their jabs. I know I've convinced myself I've done things when I haven't.

Red books are only useful if they are taken. Ours were written in and the computer record updated while we were there. We were asked to wait while those were done. 8 guess that was the time used to also make sure there were no immediate negative effects from the jabs instead of sending us to sit in the waiting room for a few minutes.

Only op will know if it's likely her mil will have 'forgotten' on purpose, or even accidentally and now doesn't know how to get herself out of the hole she's dug. We all do silly things at times and ya least if they haven't been done, they still can be.

Okay, couldn't give an update as I was at the hospital for hours yesterday (ugh). But finally gotten to the bottom of it. GP called me back yesterday, said that only the first two sets of jabs had been done (8weeks and 12 weeks). Got her booked in for next week for the last ones. On the MIL side of things, she kept insisting she took her for the injections, must be a mistake, yada yada yada. I explained the situation to DH and he spoke to her and she admitted it straight away. She said she'd seen online about the chemicals and them causing autism, etc, and didn't feel comfortable going to the appointment. Obviously DH got mad at her for lying about it and putting DD at risk. I'm furious! But at least I know now and can get them done next week. Thank God for the letter that's all I can say!

And obviously don't trust anything she says again

Jesus! I'd be absolutely outraged. Glad your DH is dealing with your MIL, @mmmbagels.

She's really shot herself in the foot here, because you'll have trouble believing a word she says again! At least she told the truth to your DH I suppose.

Wowser.

She didn't think that you'd be notified to not showing up?

She lied to you but not her son. So weird, the whole thing.

Blimey!

Has your husband not had any jabs then?

That is absolutely disgusting she made that decision.

She has no right and at most she should of discussed what she thought she knew and if getting her thoughts over to you didn’t change anything just accept. It’s your decision.

That would be a complete game changer in relationship for me.

I'm not sure if he ever had jabs, I don't think he knows either, other than the flu jab. But she didn't mention it. I know his Aunt is very anti vax but I wasn't aware that MIL was against them. I'm just in alot of shock. It all seems very out of character.

People who lie about things that are obviously going to get found out make me so uneasy, they probably don't have a good grasp of reality.

That's horrendous, OP. Such a breach of trust and not her call to make at all. This must have really shaken you and your relationship with your MIL. Hope you're ok.

Seems such a strange thing to do. She knew baby had already had her first two jabs and that you'd probably get a letter asking why you hadn't had that particular one done.
Very odd.

Wow. Well, she wouldn’t ever been seeing my kids again, after being deliberately deceitful about something so important.

It's definitely made me rethink the entire relationship we have. I don't understand why she would like about something like this.. and try and make me feel bad for accusing her. She's definitely lost my trust..

What a stupid woman! I'll bet she doesn't realise that you will now never trust her at all.

I wouldnt want to see her for a long long time after this stunt and i would not believe a word she said again. I could understand you asking her to take her and her refusing due to anti vax views. At least then you would know you needed to arrange to get them done again but to put your dd at risk like that is disgusing. And why the lieing to you but not your husband. Thats bloody weird in itself. I would be beyond furious.

It's feasible that she didn't know about the letter - people of her generation seem to be a bit more surprised by the 'tracking' culture we have now. My mother and father wouldn't have expected any such thing, certainly. My mother lied all the time and was most annoyed if you pointed it out, because in her head it wasn't REAL lying, you see; that would imply malevolence. She didn't tell untruths malevolently, therefore it was ok

Bloody hell.

Dear God, this is just .. I have no words. Your apparent calmness is admirable, OP.

I'm glad i appear calm, although I don't think DH would agree! I think I'm still in shock. I was really hoping it was an error on the GPs end... DD is really suffering with the stomach flu at the moment but all I can think now I at least it's not something so much worse!

I can't believe you are so calm about this. I wouldn't be able to come back from this at all. What is worst of all is that she didn't tell you so she's put your daughter at risk by not even allowing you to make decisions to keep her away from certain scenarios if she was at risk. It would be relationship over for me from this point onwards. Glad you have her booked in though now.

Yes Contessa you could be right, she might not have thought about the OP being notified by letter. Such a huge breach of trust on her part.

Does she not get that the autism scare was round a separate set of jabs than the ones she refused on your daughter's behalf? Not that bright by the sound of it.

Well done for being so calm. I would have absolutely lost my shit and seriously be considering no contact for putting a baby at risk for her stupid beliefs