WIBU to post Dsis her kids back and ruin her holiday?

[Santasjinglebelle]

WTAF to do?
Agreed to have niece (8) and nephew (7) over to stay for a while so Dsis and hubby can attend destination wedding/ first holiday without kids in tow.
Last time they were here I put them both in pyjamas pants as I know that they're prone to accidents and I just don't have the time or energy (or inclination to be frank) to keep up with the additional laundry.
Dniece pipped up earlier to tell me me that neither of them will be wearing pyjama pants this time round as their mummy told them not to.
Thinking they must have misheard, I call Dsis to get her to speak with them. Dsis proceeds to berate me for wanting to "humiliate" her children. Apparently pyjamas pants encourage bedwetting by infantilise slow developers - better to let them feel uncomfortable in their own piss and learn the hard way.
Before I could get out any kind of response she fobbed me off with some shite about a dodgy line and hung up!!
WTF am I supposed to do? They went to bed at 8pm and used the toilet first but I've just changed nephew's sheets! Another 8 nights of this makes me want to weep.
No other relatives near enough to pawn off on, niece is adamant, nephew does what his sister says and Dsis not answering phone anymore.
Hubby's response (he was joking) "try Easy jet." But now I'm seriously considering this, WIBU?

@Thesearepearls - so the medical profession are falling for the con job perpetuated by the nappy companies?

Before you post such uninformed shite, you should really try doing a little basic research. That way you are less likely to come across as a smug idiot.

OP - I think the advice re the pants under the pull ups is your best bet. That way your niece can justify in her own mind that she is doing as her mother says. Otherwise, get them to change the bed with you (obviously, while making it clear that it's not their fault they are wet but that they need to be responsible). If they are not used to doing that, they will probably ask for pull ups the next night.

I'd also give your sister an earful. Totally unacceptable to land 2 bedwetters on you without discussing it first.

Op has your dsis discussed their wetting before, is it an occasional or nightly thing, has she ever expressed concern about it, surely she doesn't let them both wet th bed every night and not use waterproofs or bed pads or anything?!

Trained paediatric doctor. Nocturnal enuresis isn't reasonably common at 7-8.

And there isn't much you can do about it...desmopressin / alarms etc don't work for every kid.

My friend has a 10yo bedwetter she does the layered bed thing - they have woven fabric pads and a raft of identical bottom sheets. For sleepovers /cub camp etc she got a special tightly woven fabric sleeping bag that keeps the wee contained ...it is so good I let him sleep in my bed in it with all my normal down bedding (I was in the spare bed for complex light/curtain/getting up in the morning issues).

Your sister is being unbelievably inconsiderate.

Also is it an option to get those bed pad things and put them to bed in just a top and no bottoms, then you're washing less stuff
I wet the bed as a kid occasionally and in hotels and holiday homes and stuff my mum used to put me in bed in a t shirt and no pants with two old towels beneath me in case and it worked a treat

Some very judgemental and unhelpful comments on this thread.
OP was not asking when posters' LOs were dry.
Luckily plenty of more thoughtful posters suggested useful strategies, usually involving pyjama pants.
OP's sister really landed her in it and the niece and nephew are caught in the middle. I think I'd use any bribery I could to get the pyjama pants on just to get through the week. I'd also shamelessly reward dry pants in the morning.

@Thesearepearls - Well since I did produce a study that showed that even in our western societies kids should be dry by 7 I do feel that I am vindicated

The link you provided was not a study. Maybe you should start you research by looking up the definition of "a study".

thesea youre just being a nob now.

Thesearepearls the only thing here that is abnormal is you. Shitty attitude and incorrect info. Yes the majority of kids are dry at night at this age but not all. Certainly in year 6 there are always around 2 kids per class who still wet the bed occasionally. It's not abnormal it's just a minority.

Op has been oddly quiet.

I was 11yrs old before I stopped wetting the bed. My parents tried everything. I had alarmed sheets (that woke my parents while I slept through), plastic sheets, medication etc from the gp. I saw doctors, paediatricians and anyone who would listen. They tried lifting me at night before they went to bed themselves..Sadly pj pants weren’t around when I was young. I suffered sore broken skin and it was really painful. I was miserable but could do nothing to stop it. We never found out the reasons why it happened but one day it just stopped. Some people’s comments are ridiculous. No child wants to be wet at night but sometimes it happens. All kids are different. Don’t judge without all the facts. On the other hand your sister sounds like a selfish idiot. Your house your rules. Why should you suffer while she is on holiday. If you have a spare key, go to her house, pick up sheets and when they are wet roll them up and leave them in a pile in front of her washing machine ready for when she gets home. Her home will smell and next time they stay with you I guarantee they will wear the pants.

Use the training bed mats and wake both children regularly to get up and use the toilet. I'd imagine your DSIS has well and truly burnt her bridges with you, when it comes to having her DC overnight until they are both dry by night so her plan has backfired on her.

Sorry your thread has been hijacked Santa's .

theseare has an answer to everything, from publishing studies to knowing tons of subsaharan kids tilling fields .
Hope people stop taking the bait.

Deffo try to talk to your dsis
Discreetly and get through the week as best you can op!!

@theymademejoin

I think you are being very unfair on @Thesearepearls. It's very easy to mistake an online shop for an academic website. I nearly failed by degree by using ASOS as a primary source.

Do they wet at night at home? Surely your sister doesn't change the sheets constantly every night?

That's an interesting perspective Suzielou66 but not you will agree something that is suffered on average.

The point of my posts is not to disparage children that have a genuine medical or psychological condition and I do hope you appreciate that

The point of the posts that i am making is that there is no real need for nappies post 12 months - most kids can actually be dry post 12 months in the day and post 24 months at night

We are being cultivated as western and wealthy consumers of nappies that kids cannot be dry until they are much older than that. Which of course is not true. You just have to work at it. You just have to see what kids outside the western developed world can achieve. TBH I could have got the kids potty trained before the age of 2 but I was too busy with work and what have you.

Kids not dry at night by the age of 7? Even the western world acknowledges that this is not normal.

Thesearepearls, you have the fall to think parents of bedwetters are bad parents?

You think all children should be dry at three? You are either seriously think or a shitty parent.

@Tessliketrees 😁

I think it is unacceptable for the parents of your niece and nephew to not have discussed or made discreet provision to protect your beds and the children’s dignity for the child who is still bed wetting. I agree that it is not the child’s fault. A small proportion of children are slower to develop night dryness. It’s a medical condition but one that usually sorts itself out with patience. Eneuresis Clinics will not even see children until they are at least 7 - and the waiting lists are very long.
I agree that the answer might be to either wear pants under pyjama pull up, or use disposable bed pads, under the child ( under the bottom sheet if discretion is needed) Use a thin duvet or fleece blanket over a top sheet ( that can fit in domestic washer).
We stopped using pyjama pull ups at home when our son refused them but until he was reliably dry, the rule was pj pants when away from home, Absolutly unacceptable to expect you to cope with the extra washing without discussing it with you first!

From the Eric website. With sources. Not just 'I have Produced a study' with no references.
www.eric.org.uk/is-it-just-me

Oh don't be daft

My kids were completely dry day and night by 2. Anyone can achieve this. i'm a totally normal parent. Just look at the world. We're being continually advised by nappy companies and lazy parents that kids NEED to be wet day and night forever.

It's simply not true. I was working crazy hours when the kids were around 18 months. I knew from my experience around the world (brought up in sub-saharan africa, worked in china etc) that no kid had to be wet day or night beyond the age of 2. It's just that the nappy companies want you to believe that it's necessary and general parental laziness.

The kids are now 18 and 20. Both fully in control of their bladders as they have been from the age of 2. i'm not trolling, I'm just being honest. And if you were being honest with yourselves, you could save yourselves a shedload of money paid to the nappy companies.

It isn't lazy having to go back and forth to an Enuresis clinic every six weeks, fill scripts and argue with your child for them to take the melt, up each hour as the alarm goes off but they don't wake, deal with all the wet washing (stacked bedsheets as no night time pants are comfortable with excema), deal with all the additional prep and meeting for school trips, having to comfort a child who wants to be dry but is distressed each morning upon discovering they are not. Trying to 'lift' hour through the night in an effort to get your child to be able to smile in the morning at having achieved a dry night.

Lazy? No. is it their fault? No. do they WANT to be wetting? Of course not!

Some kids just can't be dry at the 'right' age. Please do Visit the website I linked and read through it!

I agree with everyone else. Your house, your rules. If they are incapable of sleeping through the night without wetting the bed, then they have to wear pull ups. No further discussion needed. Is your DSIS prepared to pay for replacement bedding and mattresses when yours are so soiled and stinking that they can't be used? I thought not. If she thinks it's up for discussion, ask HER to return and collect the children immediately. I would wake them up and put them in pull ups immediately.

Please do Visit the website I linked and read through it!

Pfh, you only need to read shopping sites for links when you live under a bridge.