WIBU to post Dsis her kids back and ruin her holiday?

[Santasjinglebelle]

WTAF to do?
Agreed to have niece (8) and nephew (7) over to stay for a while so Dsis and hubby can attend destination wedding/ first holiday without kids in tow.
Last time they were here I put them both in pyjamas pants as I know that they're prone to accidents and I just don't have the time or energy (or inclination to be frank) to keep up with the additional laundry.
Dniece pipped up earlier to tell me me that neither of them will be wearing pyjama pants this time round as their mummy told them not to.
Thinking they must have misheard, I call Dsis to get her to speak with them. Dsis proceeds to berate me for wanting to "humiliate" her children. Apparently pyjamas pants encourage bedwetting by infantilise slow developers - better to let them feel uncomfortable in their own piss and learn the hard way.
Before I could get out any kind of response she fobbed me off with some shite about a dodgy line and hung up!!
WTF am I supposed to do? They went to bed at 8pm and used the toilet first but I've just changed nephew's sheets! Another 8 nights of this makes me want to weep.
No other relatives near enough to pawn off on, niece is adamant, nephew does what his sister says and Dsis not answering phone anymore.
Hubby's response (he was joking) "try Easy jet." But now I'm seriously considering this, WIBU?

It is definitely normal. I know of at least 3 bedwetters in DD's Y3 >Y4 class.

Tip - puppy mats are cheaper than human mats. They are big so rip them in half.

Oh and we went back to pull ups for DS2 on holiday even though he’d been dry 4 out of 7 for a few months. It was fine, and as I say he’s now been reliably dry for 2 weeks. It didn’t set him back at all, he knew it was because it wasn’t his own bed.

Blimey yes it may seem old to some of you posters but it’s actually not uncommon to still wet the bed at this age it can be a hormone issue which is beyond the children’s control. And just absolutely bonkers the poster saying there must be dysfunction or psychological problems within the family for this to happen pull your head out of your arse and try and understand children are all different

The nappy manufacturers in the world would have us all believe that bedwetting until the kids are teens is normal

IT IS NOT NORMAL

FFS kids should be dry night and day when they are 3 at the absolute latest. Mine were dry at night by 2 as previously stated

What's going on OP? There's an issue here

Goodness, calm down people, these are still young children.

Pyjama pants are what night time pullups for older children are marketed as.

Dont tell the kids off, they really cant help it, but you do have my sympathy.

The pull-up/PJPants people make disposable half bed sheets, which go over the top of a normal bed sheet, so its easy to change in the night if necessary, and they are available in Boots and supermarkets (bigger branches)

I’d get some water proof covers for the beds as well, again supermarkets.

PJPants are sized 4-7 and 8-15 i think..so depends upon the height and size of said children.

Get thePJ pants, PJ sheet and waterproof sheets, and life will be much easier for the week.

Changing two beds a night is not fun.

But be lovely to the children, as no matter how irritating it is, its really not their fault, or anything they can help. Chances are they will grow out of this in a year or so, but in the meantime, its embarassing for them too, so dont make any fuss.

The attitude of some posters is very unkind.

Oh for goodness sake. Of course there will be the odd 7/8 year old who still wets the bed occasionally at night but it's clearly not a usual occurrence for most.
Anyone who had this issue with children of this age would surely have had a sensible discussion with anyone who was having their children to stay overnight? What planet is your sister in?
They are at your house - if the children don't want to wear nappies at night then buy some of those big pads that you put underneath the sheet that will soak it up if it happens. I feel sorry for the poor kids, at that age this must be desperately humiliating for them especially if they know it's making you cross and frustrated.

Thesearepearls you are being extremely offensive. My 7yo has just become dry at night, it's hormonal and not an issue. Everyone is different.

My youngest still occasionally wets the bed and I must admit that he doesn't wear night pants because I agree they need to feel the moisture to get the cue to wake up and the pants wick it all away. I've got plastic undersheets and a batch of spare undersheets and ready made up duvets for a swift changeover.

HOWEVER on holiday or at parents etc I'd bung him in night pants no question about it as it's not fair on other people to have a pissy matress/sheets/duvet to cope with.

I know my duvets fit in the wash and can be tumbled but not everyone's can - I'd really be risking ruined bedding for them.

Stick them in pants - one week isn't going to ruin owt - largely they have to just grow out of it when they're ready.

Could you send a pleasant text to your sis saying, "I don't want to worry you but both kids have already wet the bed, so I will be putting them in Pyjama Pants until they have settled in a bit more".
Don't ask, just state you are doing it. Tell kids that if they are dry in the morning they don't need to wear them the next day (pinched from PP).

It's very, very normal and nothing to do with nappy manufacturers.
On a practical point just get disposable bed mats uses for incontinent/ sick people in think you can even get huggies o we or similar.
Yes it's frustrating but try not to let the children feel bad they really can't help it and being unsettled will only make it worse.
( put a towel crossways over the pad and tucked in to side if mattress to make it a bit more comfy and keep it in place)

Just be direct with the DC. explain: the reason I want you to wear pull ups is because I'm feel too tired to get up and change the sheets every night. Would you want to? The sheets are heavy and it's a hard job that wakes you up then you can't get back to sleep. And all that extra washing is hard work. It's normal that you wet the bed. It's a hormone that hasn't started in your body yet. It will. But it won;t this week. So let;'s make life easier for us all. Either you do all the cleaning and washing and bed changing yourself. Or, if you don;t want to do all that work (and who would) wear pants. Those are the choices.

Dream wee! I have a 7 year old, completely dry through the night. My 5 year old was dry through the night from 2 (his doing, not mine). But when he started school, he regressed. He's been so tired that he essentially just passed out and misses his body's natural alerts that he needs to go. So every night we go up to him around two hours after he's gone to bed and take him to the toilet. He normally does a huge wee and then goes back to bed. Occasionally if we slip up, he goes all night (or wakes himself around 3), other times he's soaked after an hour. But mostly, the two hour rule of thumb works. Embrace the dream wee for the next week.

Thesearepearls...

I suggest you google the subject a little

www.webmd.com/parenting/features/bed-wetting-myths-debunked#1

Theseare pearls that's great about your DC, but not all kids are the same. FWIW Dd was dry at night within a week of being dry in the day (2.5yrs); Ds2 OTOH was dry in the day before 2yo but still wet at night at 5yo.

When mine were small the doc would look at intervention from age 7 only; a pp says that's now 10yo, which does seem late :(

OP some good suggestions here re pads/layering bed linen etc. I would insist on oh pants for the boy at least. is the niece dry?

Thesearepearls you're talking absolute nonsense. Bedwetting can happen well into teenage years, even with no nappies, all the "right" parenting, and all the gadgets/medication/management possible. You got lucky, nothing more than that. My eldest was dry day and night by the time he was two - so what? I didn't do anything differently between the two of them!

Of course there are going to be lazy arse parents who can't be bothered to potty train but bedwetting affects a wide range of children.

Definitely get some sort of waterproof mattress covers so you don't end up with stains - if either of them soak through tonight, bicarb. of soda is great for getting the smell out (sprinkle on mattress, leave all day and vacuum off).

DS was 9 when he finally slept through dry consistently, as a PP said, it's a hormonal thing. Not taking preventive measures when staying at someone else's house is ridiculous. We always brought a mattress cover and he wore pull-ups. Doesn't your Dsis realise that it's probably embarrassing for them to wet the bed at someone else's house (even though you're their auntie)? DS would've been mortified.

In your shoes, I'd do whatever's necessary to keep them clean and dry during their visit.

thesearepearls my 6 year old ds is still in pull ups at night. He has been seen by many specialists who have said its normal at this age and won’t really look at him again until he is 7. I take it you are more qualified in childhood nocturnal enuresis than these very senior drs? If you are then I’d like to see the research you have done in this area??

@Thesearepearls -There's a serious concern about bedwetting at these ages

Have there been any issues about dysfunctional families? Is there any social services involvement? Are there any psychological issues?

Seriously? Bed wetting at that age is perfectly normal for a large number of children. Just because your two were dry at 2 doesn't mean that is the only "normal" situation.

Thesearepearls , you're very poorly informed, i'm afraid.

Where did you pluck the magic number of age 3 from? The ERIC website (bowel and bladder specialists, recommended by the NHS) state that 12% of 7-9 year olds regularly wet the bed.

Although NHS recommendations are that children over 5 still wetting the bed should be treated medically, it's often difficult to get a GP to take it seriously before the age of 7.

While your dry-at-2 children may represent one extreme of the Bell Curve, mathematics dictate that the other end of the Bell Curve will show perfectly normal children who aren't yet dry at night at 7+. Night wetting is hormonal and often hereditary. Neither of those things can be managed by "training" a child

OP: tricky one. I'd let the older kid go without pull-ups assuming she stays dry. Younger one who is already bedwetting I'd stick in a pull-up.

A random google produced this
thebedwettingdoctor.com/pages/about-bedwetting

which states that around 3% of 7 year olds are not dry at night

So it's definitely not normal. Please take the kids to the doctors and find out if there's an underlying psychological issue

Don’t care what their mum says, sorry, stick them in the pants. Your mattresses are going to be ruined otherwise.

#Thesearepearls You are completely wrong, and offensive to boot.

@Thesearepearls

Wow, that's a bit harsh! My DD was dry at 3, DS just didn't get there until 9. It wasn't anything to do with parenting, we'd spoken with the pediatrician about it, got an alarm that was supposed to wake him up at the first sign of dampness...he slept through it, we didn't it.
One day, he just stopped wetting and that was an end to it.

thesearepearls that’s utter rubbish. I am in a group of 80 women with children who are 3. About 5-10 of them are regularly (not always) dry at night. Im pretty sure you know that just because your children did something at one age doesn’t mean every other child should?

Sister is bang out of order! You are doing her an enormous favour. Hold firm on your rules.