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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBu - to want to have sex with my own wife

267 replies

Dadboddancer · 15/08/2018 21:08

Dear Mumsnet

I've turned to mumsnet in desperation and need a a female perspective.
I'm worried I'm being an insensitive husband.

I need advice about how to approach a lack of intimacy and sex in our marriage since the birth of our first child.

The back story - I've been happily married for 7 years. We were together 5 years before getting married. We have two lovely children aged 3/12 and 11 months.

The problem with intimacy started when my wife got pregnant. We did not have sex or any sexual contact during the pregnancy. This was her wish and I was fine with it. Other intimacies were ok at that stage.

After the birth - as expected -all intimacy dissipated. We did not even kiss again for 10 months. We probably had sex 3 times in the 2 years after - once amazingly conceiving our beautiful daughter. Other intimacy remained very limited (and one sided from me).

Like all other couples - I think we neglected our relationship after our first baby. However, since - I've made sure we get some "us" time even if its only once per month. I still think she is beautiful and she still gets flowers and random gifts. I've re-arranged my work schedule to have a day off at home to help with childcare and home running.

I feel awful saying this - but having sex 4/5 times in 5 years isn't enough for me. The constant rejection, and then the constant holding back so im not "pestering" is getting me down. I'm happy in every other aspect and she is an AMAZING mother.

Its so hard to talk about things without appearing to moan about not getting any

Can I ask for your collective experience:

  1. Have other couples/ ladies had similar drops in their libido after their children - if so how did things turn out?
  2. Have any of you worked through a problem like this - what was your approach?
  3. If I can't get past this - what are my options - do any of you live in sexless marriages for the kids benefit and get on ok?

Feeling terrible about considering causing my children pain and leaving just because I dont get laid.

Any serious views will be taken on board.

OP posts:
CycleWoman · 16/08/2018 09:35

OP me and my husband were in a similar situation to you until recently.

Like you he works 4 days and I work PT. I feel like when he’s home from work he also picks up 50:50 of the childcare, housework etc. So there is no resentment there from me about feeling like I’m doing all of the work.

But still, we had sex about 3 times during pregnancy and about 4 times in my baby’s first year. I just did not want to have sex. I loved him, still really fancied him but had absolutely zero libido.

I think the reasons for me were a mixture of hormones and sleep deprivation. Until I stopped breastfeeding the idea of sex was massively off putting, I just didn’t want anybody that close to me. In addition, if I was lying down there was no way I was having sex, I needed to SLEEP!

The thing that got us through it was talking about it. I just told him exactly how I felt and that I hoped it would change soon. He understood that and didn’t put any pressure on me to have sex.

We didn’t manage any date nights, making time for each other or anything like that as we don’t have much support. But once I stopped breastfeeding things changed. I started feeling a bit more like myself and my libido is starting to return.

It’s so different for everyone but I think the best thing is to talk to her. Acknowledge that there is no sex happening but reassure your her that you love her and there is no pressure.

Good luck

RaspberryBeret34 · 16/08/2018 09:45

Loads of good advice and perspective on this. In terms of what to do about it, I agree with goblin, I'd put in place a sex ban (of sorts!) - I believe this is what sex therapists tend to do, to put the focus back on intimacy.

Start a conversation with her and say you totally understand tiredness, touched out, breastfeeding etc. That you aren't whingeing about the sex but you want to get the intimicy and affection back. Maybe suggest no sex for 6 months and reassure her that affection won't lead to sex. Tell her you miss her and just want to make sure your relationship is as strong as it can be through this exhausting part - sex can be taken off the menu for now. And say that if she's touched out and you go for a hug, let her know she can say "sorry, I'm just really touched out just now". Encourage her to voice how she is feeling and reassure her you'll be supportive. And get her suggestions on what she would like.

In terms of tiredness, housework etc - maybe ask her what would help and really listen. Be creative with how you work things - on your day off, she could take the kids out while you do a 2 hour blitz of the house. Or vice versa. A cleaner? More childcare? Things will get easier - I think this is the hardest bit in terms of the children's ages. You may financially scrape along for a bit but just do what you can to get through with as little resentment as possible.

Also, it is impossible to overstate how much touched-outness is a thing! I remember having to shove the dog down the sofa away from me as even having him next to me just after I'd put the baby to bed was too much! And my ex and I had split up so I had no DH or sex or affection to even think about!

crispysausagerolls · 16/08/2018 09:50

Are people really saying breastfeeding mothers “work” all day and night without breaks? I’m demand feeding a baby who feeds A LOT and I really don’t think I would compare sitting down with a baby at my breast as “work”. Yes you have to be ready all the time to feed, but it’s hardly gruelling or rocket science, is it? Perhaps breastfeeding stats would increase if women stopped acting like breastfeeding is the hardest thing in the world as opposed to something we are biologically programmed to do. Really winds me up. I hate this “women are the victims” complex. I actually feel very sorry for my husband that he isn’t able to experience breastfeeding.

OP, I really feel for you. From my own experience, i am over a month postpartum and absolutely very much interested in sex again BUT I am embarrassed about th changes to my body and worried about pain. Do you think those could be contributing factors??

CycleWoman · 16/08/2018 09:58

crispysausagerolls Unfortunately not everyone has the same experience as you breastfeeding.

Many women struggle with feeding, find it exhausting or even dislike it. Other mums have an easier time and really enjoy it. Everyone is different.

In fact, one of the things that can seriously impact breastfeeding is the idea that it is easy and one of those things that just happen. If mums have a hard time with it then they can feel like a total failure. So an honest and balanced discussion of the ups AND downs is a good thing.

Iwantaunicorn · 16/08/2018 10:03

applesandpears hit the nail on the head. For ease:

I have children similar age and I don’t feel like sex much. However occassionally when I get a decent amount of sleep AND a decent amount of time to myself with no children AND my partner is cheerfully and friendly I feel horny again. So I suggest you set yourself a goal to do all of the following at least once a week. 1) Take both kids out of the house for at least 2 hours unprompted. Pack the bag yourself. Decide where to go yourself. Come back cheerful and don’t try to give the kids back when you walk through the door. 2) Stop saying you feel tired. When your wife says she is tired sympathise, tell her you appreciate everything she does and make sure she gets as good a sleep as possible. 3) At a quiet time ask her how her day was. Really listen. Ask follow up questions. Don’t talk about yourself. 4) Make her laugh 5) Bring her home something she will like. Something she likes to eat or something small but significant. Not flowers. Something personal. 6) Remind her of something cool you did together before kids. Every single day: 1) Tell her you love her 2) Pick up after yourself (dishes, laundry) 3) Spend at least 30 mins doing something housework like (not diy) without being asked or mentioning you have done it. Try it for 2 months and come back and tell me how your marriage feels now.

That’s literally all my problems and dreams fixed in one post. Genius!

AmateurSwami · 16/08/2018 10:10

Or sex wasn't that good to start with but they tolerate it for the sake of having DC etc. People having really good sex don't tend to go off it.

This kind of makes sense to me too. Sex was painful after dc2 and I tolerated it a lot out of a sense of duty, which in turn made me dread it. It’s a complex issue.

BuntyII · 16/08/2018 10:12

@Frazzledkate and why would that be? What reason could women possible have to hate men 🤔

Allthewaves · 16/08/2018 10:13

Honestly we were the same. I ended up not wanting dh near me as everytime he touched or kissed me he wanted sex.

Be honest and say sex is off the table for now and u won't ask her but you want to kidd and cuddle but you won't grope or take it further.

AmateurSwami · 16/08/2018 10:13

Are people really saying breastfeeding mothers “work” all day and night without breaks?

Yes.

I found it easy after initial hiccups with ds1&2, but with dc3 every feed was hell for an entire year. She had reflux and fed constantly with an undiagnosed tongue tie. Please understand your experience isn’t everyone elses.

Ennirem · 16/08/2018 10:15

people having really good sex don't tend to go off it

This is bullshit btw. DP and I used to be at it like rabbits, contraception and now bf caused me some total slumps. We're all just victims of our hormones at the end of the day.

crispysausagerolls · 16/08/2018 10:15

I found it easy after initial hiccups with ds1&2, but with dc3 every feed was hell for an entire year. She had reflux and fed constantly with an undiagnosed tongue tie. Please understand your experience isn’t everyone elses.

Fair enough - I rescind my initial statement! Sorry to hear about your experience

SteviaStephanie · 16/08/2018 10:17

I don’t think it’s quite true that “people having good sex don’t tend to go off it” - I would add “without good reason” at the end! In my case, we had a great sex life and I still fancy him.

It’s just that I’m so tired (the baby woke up every single hour last night and got up for the day at 6am!), and still find sex a bit painful, which I think is due to breastfeeding hormones. So I haven’t gone off sex with my partner at all; I just don’t feel like it right now because my body doesn’t feel up to it.

But of course my partner feels very rejected and it is really really hard to meet the wishes and needs of both. I just keep gritting my teeth and saying, “the kids will get older before we know it”...

AmateurSwami · 16/08/2018 10:19

I appreciate that crispy, we are out the other sidenow thankfully! Smile

lostinjapan · 16/08/2018 10:22

There are some bitter, man hating ladies on MN, wow.

Yeah, these threads are so predictable.

Woman posts that her husband doesn't want sex anymore = 'He's gay', 'he's having an affair', 'he's asexual'.

Man posts that his wife doesn't want sex anymore = 'You're crap in bed', 'you're unattractive', 'you don't do enough housework/childcare'.

So basically it's always the man's fault.

Bowlofbabelfish · 16/08/2018 10:24

Are people really saying breastfeeding mothers “work” all day and night without breaks?

Mine woke hourly at least for 18m. Doing that and holding down a job was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It nearly broke me. So yes. It’s a 24 hour a day job for some - kids with SN or health issues on top must be even harder.

Way harder than work alone. And my job is demanding, long hours and technicalnwith a lot of responsibility.

vinobell · 16/08/2018 10:25

@lottie i actually thought your post was really insightful...i think I've been trying to frame those thoughts in my own head but you putting them into words made them make sense!

i also can't believe most posters haven't picked up on the "dud sperm" comment.... i think actually thats quite revealing. OP wants to play the 'good guy' but is probably an arsehole. Who else would actually wish away their child to get more sex?

Verbena87 · 16/08/2018 10:30

people having really good sex don't tend to go off it

Hormones, birth injuries, exhaustion all make a difference. You’re super lucky if you’ve avoided the joy-blocking influence of all three: enjoy it, but don’t assume everyone else can.

lottiegarbanzo · 16/08/2018 10:35

OP, if you're still there, I would urge you to look at how equal the distribution of work really is in your household.

As pp have said, this is about acting as a responsible adult and respecting the other adult in the house, so generating a feeling of mutual respect and esteem. This might lead in the direction of fanciability. It is not about 'sex for chores' because you are not a dog and she is not your owner (or your mother, handing out treats for good behaviour, bleurgh). And because pulling your weight domestically, in the house you live in, is just that, it is not 'helping' (there are about a thousand threads on that already) and there is no reason for her to be grateful for you not being a lazy slob. Presumably she married a capable adult.

So, you don't give us much information but what you do is ambiguous. Saying you don't come in and sit down sounds good. Like you muck in and do what needs doing.

You work four days - and do a day's sole childcare while she works? Or is she there that day too?

But, the tasks you've said are yours; finances, gardening and ironing, are all very small, occasional, or second-tier tasks - that is, when more important things need to be done, ironing and gardening don't really need doing. You may both need some work clothes ironed, nothing else needs it, surely? Gardening as basic maintentance - mow weekly in summer, weed and trim two or three times a year - is totally different from gardening as a hobby, for a beautifal garden. But that is a leisure activity, for when there's free time.

The stuff that needs doing daily is all the cooking, washing up, laundry (inc. folding and putting away), wiping surfaces, picking up toys, sweeping, then cleaning floors and bathrooms once a week (ish, not trying to start a MN debate about frequency). Then all the child-specific elements like feeding, bathing, entertaining, bed-time.

You can't breastfeed and that limits your usefulness at night (though is expressing a bottle so you can do a night feed something you've tried?) and may limit your usefulness at bedtime. Beyond that though, you can do all of the above daily domestic list.

You WOH 50 hours, your DW 24. So, she does 26 hours in the home while you're not there (unlike you, probably with no breaks). The crucial question is, for the rest of the time, when you are both there, is the work split evenly? Is the time to do your own thing (even sit down and twiddle your phone) split evenly too?

Lack of sleep is a killer and if you're sleeping enough and she isn't, you are leading very different lives. Your needs, perspectives and feelings will be very different.

Remember, your wife is the central character in the novel of her life too. She has her own god of fairness and hope. She is working out how to reconcile her lived reality with her needs, wants and wishes too - whenever she has the mental energy. Talk to her about that.

PerverseConverse · 16/08/2018 10:36

I'm not surprised she doesn't want to have sex with you. You seem to want a medal for what you do and sex as a reward for doing a bit of parenting. And the dud sperm comment Hmm

Quartz2208 · 16/08/2018 10:40

Sex is an important part of a relationship but it should be one that is wanted by both and NOT used as currency which is what happens I think in so many cases.

It becomes a bartering tool - I will do x y and z because I expect it at the end. The other sees this and gives in and each time it happens the intimacy and the closeness goes and resentment builds in. And for one they start to wonder why the other is getting rewarded for doing things that should be doing anyway. The other gets increasingly frustrated starts to wonder why they are doing x y z in the first place and start doing less. Rinse and repeat and the resentment builds.

My advice is always sex needs to be removed - the relationship needs to be worked on - if the issues can be solved it could come back, if the issues involve any lack of attraction or love or her part there is no coming back

You need to see which one it is

lottiegarbanzo · 16/08/2018 10:47

Thanks @vinobell I always find claims about fairness and unfairness odd and jarring, in situations that have nothing to do with fairness, distribution, arbitration etc and everything to do with 'biology' or 'life'.

The answer has to be 'make the best of the situation you find yourself in. Working with the person you're there with, communicating well, really listening, will help.'

I may adopt that as a stock answer to all MN questions!

MaryH90 · 16/08/2018 10:51

Sorry if this repeats anything already said there are some super long posts here I haven’t read through all of them. I’ll try and keep mine brief.

I’ve been with DH for 8 years and married for 3. We have a 15 month old DD who is a result of a very traumatic labour. Out sex like has had peaks and troughs, started well, reduced during pregnancy as I was worried about miscarriage, pretty much stopped after having my DD and was reduced to about once every 2 weeks if that, (from every other day before baby). It’s only recently started getting back on track and something I think it’s been down to sorting out my contaceptives (hormones were crazy and had some issues with the implant) healing mentally and physically from the birth and starting to feel better about how I look (losing some weight). One massive turning point for me was going to buy some sexy underwear (belly covering babydoll) which finally made me feel sexy again. It could be much more about how she feels about herself and what she’s been through than how she feels about you. My love for DH has never faultered which hasn’t always been reflected in our sex life.

Ennirem · 16/08/2018 11:19

OP, I read your first few posts and thought you sounded nice and I wanted to give you some advice. As you go on the veneer of understanding falls away a bit and it seems more obvious that you are resentful and feel your 'good behaviour' should 'earn' you sex. This makes me like you less tbh... but nonetheless I'll give you my view on what may be behind your situation and what you might do.

The key thing is what was your sex life like before? If there was always an imbalance (you 'wanting it', her 'giving it' to you) then there's a deeper problem with the relationship and you may just be fundamentally sexually mismatched. Sexual compatibility - genuine compatibility - is very important and actually surprisingly rare. If it wasn't there to begin with, and you aren't just making a journey through the wilderness of young children right now, then your sex life together may be salvageable but you'll have to take a much more pragmatic view of sex, negotiate, and compromise, and not expect it to be all unspoken intuition and 'moments of passion'. You'll have to get over your reticence and really talk to her, and you'll have to make the effort to have that conversation in a way that doesn't involve whining and putting all the responsibility onto her. It will be hard work.

FWIW, my sex drive pretty much vanished after having my baby. I was tired and traumatised and breastfeeding (my drive does appear to be coming back a bit at 18 months as we dropped night feeds, which were most of her feeds, although I had some serious mood swings as my body adjusted to less feeding hormones). And frankly, I loved my baby with a bewildering force, like nothing I'd ever known, and it made the love I'd had for any romantic partners, including DP, look frankly puny by comparison.

And the only person I could reasonably expect to understand and share this love, which was genuinely the most terrifying, exhilirating, demanding and beautiful experience of my life - her other parent - well.... I know he loves her. But it is painfully clear to me that it is not qualitatively the same. It is probably a lot more sane and rational, and plenty of mums on here will tell me IABU. But she is not the burning centre of his world the way she is mine. Ultimately, he is, or feels he should be, the centre of his own. Still.

Our whole lives have changed around her, to be about her, and to me that feels like the natural and reasonable consequence of her existence - to him, I know it is a startling and unexpected and at times unwelcome thing. He clearly expected our lives to still be about us, with a baby. And will try and drag things around to that; and I try, but frankly it all feels like he's trying to pull us apart, to pull me away from her, and I know it isn't fair on him but I resent that instinctively. Him not loving her as much as I do (or in the same way I do is probably more accurate -this mad, all consuming way) sets us automatically at odds. And it makes me sad as I so want to share this life-altering experience with him, not have to fight him to hold onto it.

Just that massive change in my priorities means we have been dragged off the same page really. And if you don’t feel connected to someone, as well as feeling sexually disinterested due to exhaustion and breastfeeding/post-partum hormone changes, it’s going to be hard to summon up the enthusiasm to keep things ticking over.

I really think the only cure is a very frank conversation about your feelings, her feelings, your needs, her needs, and both of your capacities to compromise. Until you can knuckle up and have that conversation nothing will change, and she won’t be the one to force it as she is functioning well under the status quo. Own your own feelings while respecting hers and you should be able to have a conversation that isn’t whiney or blamey.

Another top practical tip from me is that timing is everything, and sometimes actually explicitly scheduling. Doesn’t work for everyone as it can make things feel too forced, but if I plan to have sex I can usually get in the mood for it. If I have it sprung on me when I’m not ready or interested it can make me feel trapped and defensive and puts me off other forms of intimacy in case they 'lead up to' sexual advances. ‘Usual’ sex times – first thing in the morning, last thing at night – don’t really work for a breastfeeding mum by and large, because you’re often knackered from either the night shift of feeding or a long day of child wrangling – and expecting to be interrupted by crying baby pretty much any minute can be off putting! If you work in the same role/place, could you ‘meet for lunch’ at a hotel or if close enough your house occasionally? Having it scheduled, time to prepare and get in the mood and look forward to it, and catching her when she’s got some energy and is in her ‘me’ frame of mind rather than her ‘mummy’ frame of mind might make all the difference. Just a thought.

Agree with PPs though, your characterisation of her as ‘your own wife’ is a bit creepy. She isn’t yours.

Gottalovethesummer · 16/08/2018 11:45

Is it me or does
holy Pieter
speckled dot
Merrivan
ihitisyou
ok pedro
Sound like the same person. The tone sounds exactly the same. Strange how all the posts have been positive apart from this flurry of negative ones.

Italiangreyhound · 16/08/2018 11:46

@Dadboddancer please make sure you read all posts by Applesandpears23. Honestly, counselling may help but try apple's advice.