To ask if it's futile trying to stop a 7.5 year old boy showing off and being silly?

[Pushpins40]

Exactly that. He'll try to be the real clown, the silly one - sometimes it's good natured, other times (like today in a changing room with two other kids, a girl and a boy that he's doing a swimming class with) he starts shouting, 'I can see you vagina and your penis!'.

It's embarrassing and very annoying. If it's not that sort of stuff, it's just generally trying to push boundaries, be the funny one.

How do I stop it? Can I? Am I being realistic given his age? He
We talk to him about it and I think he 'hears' but then, in the moment, of course he does exactly the same.

To the young boy it was. Not to her. That’s where she comes in to guide him and tell him it isn’t funny, as she is doing.

The op is. She’s adamant that the fact that there was no harm intended somehow makes it less embarrassing for the other children.
It was only for laughs, what’s the harm?

She didn’t say there was no harm done. She was saying in the boy’s head maybe it was what he was thinking but again, that is where she comes in to teach him. He is learning to respect boundaries and personal space. He’s not a predator at 7.

Of course he’s not a predator at 7. It still shouldn’t be minimised because he’s only 7.
He needs to learn some manners, as Op suggests his attention seeking silliness is fairly regular behaviour.
Which her “talking to’s” don’t seem to have had any effect on, so far.

Funinthesun- you’ve just berated me for staying I have two daughters in one post and in your eyes not defending the young boy, then said there is nothing untoward in this behavior to another poster. Make your mind up!

No one is suggesting he is a predator. But as if that matters to the child whose penis and vagina have been announced to the whole changing room.

Sorry I really think the OP is coming in for a tough time here. I work in safeguarding and this is not seen as atypical behaviour in a 7 year old. Yes, he needs to be told it’s inappropriate but let’s not create victims where there are none.

Georgie you might be exposed to many disgusting things that make this sound minimal, but it still is rotten and embarrassing for that boy and girl. I’d have been very upset by this as a child and would still remember it years later I’m sure.

Yes we all know it's not atypical which is why we have the level so sexual harassment and assault towards girls and women FFS!

Something needs to change! Holy shit, I can't believe this needs spelling out!

- you’ve just berated me for staying I have two daughters in one post and in your eyes not defending the young boy, then said there is nothing untoward in this behavior to another poster. Make your mind up!

I’m really confused about what you mean in this post.
If it helps, to clarify what I meant, I don’t think the girl is more of a victim than the boy but this whole thread has certainly made her out to be with all the projections from mothers of girls. Maybe as a mother of both I can see that, I don’t know.
The second bit of our post is what confuses me. Nothing untoward in what behaviour?

Push me too and I said above I see no link between the too either.

Hmmm some sensitive children may remember it for years, but most wont. A child said something silly to them. That may have embarrassed them, that’s life. I’m not trying to minimise this but I really think some people are turning this into something it isn’t. If it was my child he said something to I’d say ‘oh isn’t he being silly? Just ignore him when he’s like that’ I wouldn’t encourage my children to stay away from from him. He’s a child that’s said something silly, children do that - if you think the other children (or even your own) would never do that you’re wrong! It’s normal behaviour. Oh the secret conversations of 7 year olds (including the precious girls) you’d be shocked. I’m a mother of girls too btw.

Op I have not rtft. I would say it is attention seeking behaviour. What is driving that? That is what you need to address. In the meantime I would change him in a private cubicle as it isn’t fair on the children he is shouting about. I would also spend time with him explaining about privacy and not commenting on other people’s bodies or appearance. But would do so in a non judgemental way.

How do we know the other children didn't just laugh and say they could see his willie too? I genuinely don't know many 7 year olds who would be utterly humiliated by this. In fact the only ones I can think of are a couple of DDs whose mother really does not like boys and has raised her girls to be quite afraid of them.

Yes it is 'just life' for many girls and women and it needs to fucking well change.

And I can’t believe I’m reading that a 7 year old shouting out ‘I can see your willy and vagina’ Has anything to do with sexual assault towards girls. That is insane. Completely bonkers. He’s 7.

And goat if you think girls of this age don’t say the same you are very very seriously mistaken. It’s a developmental phase. FFS.

But girls are always saying 'I can see your willie' as well- they're 7 FFS.

Nothing untoward in the OP’s son’s behavior is what I meant.

Mother of two daughters- figure of speech really. If I had a boy/girl like yourself I’d have said mother of two children. If I had two boys I’d be saying two sons. Makes no difference to me either so I find it a bit presumptuous you are telling me it is.

When are girls always saying to boys they can see their willies, whenwillsummerend?!

Holy hell OP you’ve done nothing wrong here. That must’ve been a nightmare.

I can imagine my DS doing something similar so was reading this with interest to find out how others have dealt with that kind of awkwardness.

Instead we got a shitshow. AIBU or not it’s totally out of order.

Well where do all these entitled boys who continue to escalate this behaviour come from then?

Bloody hell, just parent your boys appropriately and nip this in the bud.

Thats very true georgie262.

Girls are just as capable as boys at doing this sort of stuff, but excuses are easily made for girls.
I was waiting for my friend once and a group of girls and one or two boys (all about age 8/9/10) were playing on the street. There were about 8 girls and two boys, and I have to say the girls were just awful. One of them started shoving one of the boys and then turned around and said “YOU can’t do anything to me because I’m a GIRL”. This is an attitude she has probably learned from an adult and it’s not a good one. I was really shocked.
I saw a group of bullies coming home from school (again a group of boys and girls) and they were being nasty to a boy in their class. The ring leader was a girl.

Greyhound - when they are getting changed for PE in school both boys and girls say to each other same sex and opposite sex. Especially in infants.

Goat - who is saying no one shouldn’t nip it in the bud? I said they should be told it’s inappropriate. What we shouldn’t be doing is escalating this unnecessarily as it is detrimental to both parties.