To ask if it's futile trying to stop a 7.5 year old boy showing off and being silly?

[Pushpins40]

Exactly that. He'll try to be the real clown, the silly one - sometimes it's good natured, other times (like today in a changing room with two other kids, a girl and a boy that he's doing a swimming class with) he starts shouting, 'I can see you vagina and your penis!'.

It's embarrassing and very annoying. If it's not that sort of stuff, it's just generally trying to push boundaries, be the funny one.

How do I stop it? Can I? Am I being realistic given his age? He
We talk to him about it and I think he 'hears' but then, in the moment, of course he does exactly the same.

The rest of you on here are apologists for his disgusting language and I wouldn’t feel considered if I was a daughter of yours.

Oh get a grip! Nobody has said any of the following:
“Awwww he’s only 7 leave him alone”
“It’s just a boy being a boy”
“Hahaha that’s so funny”
“Oh it doesn’t matter”

Nobody. Everyone has said it is innapropriate whilst still not resorting to being vile about a child. The op knows it is wrong what he did and she and any other good parent will stamp it out. Not one person on this thread is an apologist.

Posters like this always change the story when they realize people might think their little darling is in fact a little horror... interesting as well OP how he didn’t shout out ‘I can see your legs and feet’ isn’t it... stop trying to make out he is just an innocent little cherub. We all know the connotations of what he was saying and he was trying to publicly embarrass those two children in a very nasty way. His behavior was appalling but judging by your own reaction to it and others he is simply mirroring you so no shocks there.

And actually yes... I haven’t read it in its entirety but at least one person found it funny...

I really wouldn’t bother greyhound, she doesn’t want to listen unless people are telling her that his behavior was normal and that she dealt with it brilliantly. She either reports posts or resorts to name-calling. Great attitude. Story has changed in places too. It would be nice if she even illustrated a small bit of empathy to the two children who had to put up with her son humiliating them. Lots of posters disagree with the OP’s way of ‘dealing’ with things, somehow I don’t think they are all wrong.

He tryed to shane two other children by commentig on their genitals. All the salty snippy snotty comebacks in the world won’t change this, or make it normal. I would (and am) judge the fuck out of the parenting of someone whose kid did that. My dd is quite self conscious and if that had happened to her that would be the end of swimming as far as she was concerned. Can’t be nice to hear this stuff, but you did seek opinions. Maybe you need to work on having as thick a skin as you expect others to have in the face of your ds’s rude remarks.

I never post. Unless you son was made to apologise to that little boy and girl then you have reinforced his behaviour shamefully. I have a son and daughter similar age and they would have been stung and humiliated by this- and I would have complained to both the Swimming school and the centre management if you had not made him apologise to them. I would have complained to show my children that nobody would be allowed to shame them for their bodies. I would hope your child received a sanction from other adults, as a little chat would not help him understand how upsetting his behaviour could be to other children. His own behaviour should have had an immediate consequence for him- as uncomfortable to him as for the children he humiliated

Totally agree ashleyh!! I very rarely post but the dismissive attitude of the OP towards those two children I find absolutely disgusting.

Op also claimed that the mother of the children laughed when op sought her out to apologise the next day (although why she didn’t apologise to the other parent who was actually there when the behaviour was in full swing was glossed over).
I don’t believe for a second that the other Mum was even slightly entertained by his antics.

Only a complete fool would laugh when told their kids had been subjected to that nonsense when getting changed after swimming.

Interesting all the response here that "I'd be discussed if he spoke of my dd like that"
You're all ignoring the silly part too.
This was inappropriate - hence OP asking for help.

Note help people not a battering.

But this also wasn't a sexually motivated attack on a vulnerable girl and we should stop projecting

Yep totally. That mum had presumably taught her DD that her genitals are PRIVATE. So to have her humiliated like that in a safe space was doubtfully a laughing matter. Poor kids.

Actually she was vulnerable as she was undressed. And he did try to shame the children by saying he could see their private parts.

I can't believe people are excusing this.

And as well as pointing out this wasn't a girl having to tolerate it.
The OP made an effort today to apologise to the Mum who said this girl and her siblings do things like this all the time.

We cannot teach and educate our young generation to be great role models of the future if we were them at first mistake, never forgive and project adult motives on to their child like behaviour.

If we take the stance as adults that these children stand no hope at 7yo we actually do then run the risk of not trying .

That is what will cause this boy, and others problems in the future.

And you know something? I have been sexually assaulted as an adult. It's had a lifelong effect on me.
None of the stupid "I can see your fanny" when we handstanded in school dresses has had a long lasting effect. That was just kids pointing out (the obvious!) what they could see.
I was from the generation where we often just ran around in pants! There was a lot of talk of I can see your boobies etc. We didn't care - because you could 😂

Oh bravo you, crying with laughter.

FFS I give up. Meanwhile, the sexual harassment statistics will continue and we'll have more of 'My DH had sex with me whilst I was asleep. AIBU to be upset'.

Whatever. You all crack on raising your entitled little perverts as all these men couldn't have possibly started out as a 7 year old boy humiliated undressed children.

The mum said the girl and her siblings do things like this to each other all the time. But not presumably to complete strangers in public spaces?!
Do you really not see the difference?

I help with school swimming lessons- in the boys changing room at least 12 out of the 15 boys in the class will be wittering on about willies etc. We're talking y2-y5. Yes, they all know each other so it's slightly different from the OP but I can guarantee that a couple of their parents would refuse to believe that their sons would talk like it.
They are all nice boys, they are silly and they are 7 or 8. Most of them have sisters- as does my DS - they see them naked all the time and it is no big deal to them. They do grow out of it and get less silly.
Yes the OPs DS shouldn't have said what he did but honestly some of the responses on here are rather OTT. He is 7...

There’s a difference between doing a handstand and someone laughing at your pants showing, and publicly ridiculing someone in a changing room though in my opinion. My 7 year old has been taught that we hardly even look at other people in changing rooms. Shouting out personal things is outrageous at that age if he has no other underlying problems. I can’t believe the mother of the children would laugh either- she sounds seriously shit and too eager to please if that is indeed true.

I don’t think the op was glossing it over or why would she post?

As I said I had 4 lads and I have dds. By 7 my lads knew that to say that remark was rude and wouldn’t have but maybe it’s because we, as a family, don’t go around naked ( not saying you do op) all our children were taught to knock on our bedroom door from early years before coming in and visa versa. We knocked on their bedroom door from 3 onwards.

I think that really helps our kids understand boundaries and respect.

My 7 year old dd would have never been in a position of being naked in front of a boy anyway! Why were they all stripping off together??

I see on mumsnet all the time posters congratulating themselves on teaching their kids the correct anatomical terms for the body and that’s fine but that’s not the end point. The point is to teach children that those areas are private to them and not to be joked about.

We never had this developmental toilet humour in our house! Rude is rude.

They will say what you allow.

They are all teens and older now and are completely well adjusted

You all crack on raising your entitled little perverts

Who are you talking to? I can’t see anyone raising entitled perverts. The op certainly isn’t.

Batshit crazy.

Yes the sexual assault statistics are batshit?!

I obviously don't know anyone on this board or their DC, but this thread has been shockingly illuminating.

OP - I hope you've you've taken the helpful suggestions, and hidden this thread now.

No, calling a 7 year old an entitled pervert is.

Have you missed the parts on the thread where it is clear the op doesn’t actually want to ignore what her ds did or encourage it or make excuses for him? She apologised and is taking steps to make sure it doesn’t happen again. What more do you actually want?
I think you are just clutching at straws to be honest because you know full well the above but still projecting.

GoatWoman

I too am older than the average and pretty strict but come on there that’s way way OTT.

Ok, I apologise. I didn't mean any personal offence to anyone.

Just pointing out that with the statistics that we have, there must be something askew with the parenting of boys. I include my own wider family in this assessment.

Fair point GoatWoman

agree we do need to look at our boys and we do need to address this and be vigorous.

Some people are just determined to it adult sexual motives into a 7yo boy and write him off for life.

He made a totally inappropriate comment and his mum is asking how to help him improve his behaviour.

Because she cares and wants to raise a decent human being. Some of you think that's not possible over one sentence he spoke.

That's more worrying than his behaviour