To ask if it's futile trying to stop a 7.5 year old boy showing off and being silly?

[Pushpins40]

Exactly that. He'll try to be the real clown, the silly one - sometimes it's good natured, other times (like today in a changing room with two other kids, a girl and a boy that he's doing a swimming class with) he starts shouting, 'I can see you vagina and your penis!'.

It's embarrassing and very annoying. If it's not that sort of stuff, it's just generally trying to push boundaries, be the funny one.

How do I stop it? Can I? Am I being realistic given his age? He
We talk to him about it and I think he 'hears' but then, in the moment, of course he does exactly the same.

He wasn't trying to make them feel uncomfortable! He was trying to seize whatever he could to be heard/seen/be at the centre.

He's a good kid. He's 7. What is wrong with some of you?!

Slagging him off like he's an adolescent and me off without having a clue about my parenting.

Honestly, this thread shocks me. With the exception of a couple of you, you're a bunch of judgypants. And I'm not defensive. I'm very happy to screengrab CherryPavlova's advice.

My ds aged 7 came out with a completely inappropriate comment towards a younger girl at school, to the point I was called into the school.
Once we were home and calm, I asked him why and he said it was funny so I explained what a horrible thing it was and I was really ashamed of him.
He repeated the phrase only once, and I took his tablet away for a month. Now 10 he hasn’t done it since.

Seniorschoolmum, Kesstrel. Thanks. That's really helpful

Seriously though you just need to leep removing him from the situation (swimming lesson, park, playdate whatever the cost etc) amd take him home. He will the learn it is unacceptable. You must know that really otherwise you wouldn't be posting.

I absolutely know it's unacceptable, Reservoir. That's why I am here.

But I don't have to take these awful comments about him or my parenting.

It really is, GogoGobo. It's awful. I'm actually very shocked

The thingbis OP... as awful as these comments are, some of the grownups he interacts with will think exactly the same. And no one wants that , not you,not him.

I really feel for you OP. I think most of us with 7 year old boys can be very challenged by the silliness/playing the fool type behaviour and you it’s clear your are a good mum who wants to sort it out.
If it’s any consolation, i was face timing my nephew to wish him happy birthday and my 7 year old grab a can of fly spray and sprayed me in the face because he he thought it was funny and he wanted to make his cousin laugh. You are not alone.

I can't see anyone slagging him off! You've had some good advice on this thread.

There is a boy in DD's (8) class who is exactly like this, clearly thinks he is hilarious when he holds court and comments on her body, and makes other remarks about her.

From a couple of conversations with other parents it is becoming clear that he is doing this to other children.

Whether it's giddy showing off or speaking without thinking, the result is that other children are getting upset and hurt, and of course parents are now encouraging their children to stay away from him.

May this sort of explanation would be an angle to take to help your son reign it in, explain how it makes him look to others? And how they will like him less if he doesn't stop it?

Tell him you're only trying to save him from a horrible fate and show him a video of the Fast Show's Colin Hunt as a salutory lesson.

RTT Gower - there are a couple of humdinger responses on this thread.....
Unsupportive and very disproportionate

I wouldn’t have taken it that seriously. I totally get that he was seizing on anything for laughs. I think he won’t do it again in this way.
It does remind my if my DS when he was about that age, who like to sing “vagina” over and over. He did it in McDonalds and he did it in front of my parents. You could have heard a pun drop, and looking back, it is absolutely hilarious, because he is the most conservative ten year old going now.
Just be glad I wasn’t in the changing room with you. I’d have had a hard time not laughing.

Stoat, that's a good approach.

He is friends with several girls in his class, he sees them out of school, their parents are friends and I believe they would tell me if it was happening on a regular basis.

I don't think he seeks to make inappropriate remarks about bodies or any thing personal. He's got a fair few friends, I've been told he's a delight to teach.

I'm not in any way excusing his behaviour, I'm trying to stress that he wanted the laughs, and got it very wrong.

But if he wanted to be the centre of attention and be heard why didnt he wait untill his clothes were off and shout about his own privates? Because he knew it was inappropriate and he didnt want to embarrass himself but was happy to do it to someone else.
I'm sure he is normally a lovely boy and his clowning is mostly harmless but this is the only example you have given of his behaviour and it really doesnt isnt a typical 7 year old showing off and being silly.
How would you have felt if someone had done that to him or another kid had done it to you? Lots of kids I know would have been really upset and too uncomfortable to get changed in front of him again.

How would you have felt if someone had done that to him or another kid had done it to you?

Honestly, I would have thought the kid was silly and clownish, but I absolutely wouldn't have thought he was being sexually inappopriate or 'scummy' or 'rude' or 'vulgar'.

I really wouldn't.

Kids this age are definitely still working on their impulse control. And as with any stage of development, some get it quicker than others. As a childminder I don't think his behaviour sounds that unusual for a boy his age. A 7 year old I childmind sometimes does similar when he's being giddy and showing off. He told me to 'shut my little mouth' today. The rest of the kids fell silent and I whirled round to face him saying 'EXCUSE me?!' and he instantly looked mortified and apologised. I know his mum would have wiped the floor with him if she'd heard.

I think cherry has great advice. Time to come down hard on it so he knows what is appropriate and starts exercising some self control.

How does a 7 year old know such words, my children did not know these words at that age and I don't see why they should!

Yes, I think he needs to understand the specifics of how 'being silly' can have a really negative impact on the way people see him. Not because people want him to be boring, or quiet, or have no personality etc, but the hard fact is that generally people don't like people who push to be the centre of attention.

Do you think he would process that, OP?

clickety, DD knows penis, vagina, vulva. Why wouldn't she? She has two of the three of them!

Yes, Stoat, he's very clever. He understands. But I think he doesn't self-regulate as well as others.

But other things he's had consequences over, or have been drummed into him have changed - he's changed - so it gives me hope

Clickety, I don't see why he wouldn't know those names?

How does a 7 year old know such words, my children did not know these words at that age and I don't see why they should!

Oh, come on! It is perfectly normal for 7YOs to know the names of their own bodies parts.

That yours didn't is weird.

I'm really sorry for the bashing you've had on this thread, Pushpins. I use Mumsnet to respond to threads - I would never start my own, unless it was about something utterly frivolous - and even then, I've probably only started 1 or 2 threads in my time. It's not worth it.