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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think dd18 is acting like a spoilt brat?

184 replies

Twistella · 14/08/2018 16:31

We've driven for hours and hours to get to France. We've been lent a lovely house by a friend. The three dcs have all run in very excited as there are four en suite bedrooms. Dd18 got the last one left - it's lovely, pretty with an ensuite shower. But it has twin beds. All the others are doubles. She's thrown an almighty strop and is refusing to talk to us. Dh offered her a beer and she's actually flounced out into a random French town.

In every holiday she's ever been on shes got the 'best' room in account of being the oldest. AIBU to think she should just cheer the hell up? And if so, any tips on dealing with a vile tempered teen for a week?? Confused

OP posts:
TheDishRanAwayWithTheSpoon · 14/08/2018 20:18

Either way now, the two younger siblings have got their rooms and one of then would have to be turfed out to make way for her tantrums and that's not something I would want to teach my DC.

I would generally say adults have the doubles over children however the people are all siblings, and therefore I would say of equal standing and equally deserving if beds, especially as DD1 has always got her way. You could also say an adult should be the one mature enough to be able to deal with not having the best bedroom but that's clearly not the case.

DeathlyPail · 14/08/2018 20:26

I think you just have to ride these moments out with teenage DD

I have 2 who are 2 years apart and we prefer to holiday with beds for everyone but that doesn’t mean the oldest gets the first pick.

Whichever one chooses the other one will complain and when they have to share it isn’t even better. At 22 and 19 they still holiday with us on occasion as I did with my DP.

Last holiday was me DH and DD19 the rooms were a standard double with a lively bathroom or a twin with a smaller bathroom. I thought about the double but the bed was soft and there was no way I was sharing it with dH. So we had the twin room, all of us were happy.

Icequeen01 · 14/08/2018 20:50

Well my DS18 is currently on holiday abroad with us (why all this surprise that 18 year olds still want to go on holiday with their parents - it's a free holiday and most are still recovering from A level exams and facing results day,). My DS has a large en suite room to himself which has two singles. He hasn't pushed them together, he's been happy in just one of the singles.

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 14/08/2018 20:54

Yep she’s a spoilt adult brat, that needs to grow up. Probably doesn’t want to be on a family holiday.

MissCharleyP · 14/08/2018 20:55

Depends how big these beds are, as a pp said; twin beds usually come apart from each other and if not you end up wedged in the middle. I hate sleeping in single beds (5’2” and 9st) I don’t feel they’re big enough for me. One of my friends has a ‘day bed’ and, as small as I am, I always feel like I’m going to fall out of it when I stay over. It is pretty rare these days to get a single/twin in a hotel these days. I used to go away with work to different cities and always had a double bed. Your DD probably knows this is likely to be your last family holiday together and presumed she’d be treated as she has been for the last 18 years. I’d have given the twin to the 12 year old.

Putyourdamnshoeson · 14/08/2018 20:59

mammy I started uni at 18 & paid £55 a week for the privilege of sleeping in a bed smaller than a single. Should I have contacted an aid organisation?

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 14/08/2018 21:05

Icequeen01
I think a lot of people will assume that an adult will pay their own way, I suppose a free holiday is more attractive but they will probably be forced to join in with the family, any time off for a lot of adults is usually more pleasure when you do as you choose.

keyboardkate · 14/08/2018 21:23

I'm sure this issue is all solved now. Happy holidays and beds for everyone.

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 14/08/2018 21:34

Well said keyboardkate

ButchyRestingFace · 14/08/2018 21:48

If this wasn’t your daughter but an unrelated adult guest, would you still give your 12 year old the double bed if it meant unrelated adult has to sleep in a single, OP?

Cos if you would, fire on.

I slept in a single bed until the age of 31. Actually feel I get a better sleep in a single.

Chocolatedeficitdisorder · 15/08/2018 00:03

hmm...So you have the same attitude as the spoiled DD?

Wow, you're so insightful. You should cover for Jeremy Kyle when he goes on holiday.

MonsterRehab23 · 15/08/2018 00:12

I share a double bed with DP and DD. I’d jump at the chance to have just a single bed to myself for the night. And the spoilt DD has 2 singles pushed together! Grin

Isawthelight · 15/08/2018 00:16

Wow, you're so insightful. You should cover for Jeremy Kyle when he goes on holiday

Since when was Jeremy Vyle insightful?

GreenTulips · 15/08/2018 00:55

Why is it all 'oh gosh ... give in to her tantrum and let her walk over her siblings .... otherwise she'll never come away again....'

Get real .... she either will or won't holiday with her parents next year and it'll have nothing to do with bed allocation.

Mine argue between them and come to a compromise

Last year eldest DD has a room and the twins shared (B/G)
This year TDD had her own room and eldest and DS shared

No doubt next year it's DS turn to have his own room.

All happy as beds are just for sleeping in, too busy with swimming, shopping and days out to worry about a bed!!

Original poster
Twistella · 15/08/2018 08:23

The 12 year old is a dd not a ds!

She's cheerful today! Let the holidays commence!

OP posts:
Missingstreetlife · 16/08/2018 18:12

She was just tired. Bon vacance

user1483875094 · 16/08/2018 19:21

OH dear god, I cannot quite believe you actually had to ask love, - but you did, so you are clearly unsure!! Put her on the sofa in the lounge and tell her that as she is behaving like a 6 year old, having tantrums, that for every tantrum the spoiled little brat throws, it is ONE TICK off treats and outings on the holiday. But more seriously, how did she become such a demanding and impossible youngster?

Touchmybum · 16/08/2018 19:28

My eldest is 21 and has something of an expectation of having first dibs over the others (19 and 14). I don't think that's fair, and don't allow it. The 14 year old is the tallest of the three.

In actual fact, all three of them sleep in single beds AT HOME.... omg, I never realised the trauma I must be causing them...! Actually DD1 spent months sleeping on this weird bed in France that kept falling apart. She just fixed it and got on with it.

Our elder two are more than happy to come on holiday with us. I can't imagine them turning their noses up at a freebie. We get on well as a family, and enjoy spending the time together (well, most of it!) I worried that they wouldn't want to come with us any more but so far, so good. We actually had a girls' trip, the three of us, last month, and it was just lovely. DS is the one who doesn't want to go, and DH has a lot of work trips abroad atm, and they had a great time at home!!

Littlelove00 · 16/08/2018 20:08

If she's paid for herself to come on the holiday, then she should choose a room. Other wise she should grow up a bit!

manicmij · 16/08/2018 21:26

Many 18 year old have a single bed at home. 18 year old is needing to grow up. Has she contributed financially to the holuday? If not would be telling her she is kucky to be on a holiday at all. Most 18 year old would run a mile rather than go with parents and siblings on a holiday. YANBU. other than taking her in the first place.

Original poster
Twistella · 16/08/2018 21:43

Most 18 year old would run a mile rather than go with parents and siblings on a holiday

I think this is a mumsnet myth. I don't know a single 18 year old who, if their parents went away, didn't go with them.

OP posts:
Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 16/08/2018 21:51

Of course it’s a myth. All children of Mumsnetters are completely independent and self financing the day their 18th birthdays dawns.
They also leave home, never to return.
Unlike the real world.

Original poster
Twistella · 16/08/2018 21:58
Grin
OP posts:
Ddcroker · 16/08/2018 22:00

I disagree with the 'i don't blame her' comments. I'm only a year older than your dd18 and I wouldn't have kicked off if my 10 year old brother got a double bed and I got a single, I wouldn't have even thought to kick off 😂😂. Each person is different I guess. Spoilt behaviour I say. Hope she cheers up and her attitude doesn't put a dampner on your holiday.

FarrahMoan · 16/08/2018 23:03

I didn't go on holiday with my parents when I was 18. I don't think I was welcome. I went to Ibiza with friends instead at that age