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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think dd18 is acting like a spoilt brat?

184 replies

Twistella · 14/08/2018 16:31

We've driven for hours and hours to get to France. We've been lent a lovely house by a friend. The three dcs have all run in very excited as there are four en suite bedrooms. Dd18 got the last one left - it's lovely, pretty with an ensuite shower. But it has twin beds. All the others are doubles. She's thrown an almighty strop and is refusing to talk to us. Dh offered her a beer and she's actually flounced out into a random French town.

In every holiday she's ever been on shes got the 'best' room in account of being the oldest. AIBU to think she should just cheer the hell up? And if so, any tips on dealing with a vile tempered teen for a week??

OP posts:

Original poster

Twistella · 14/08/2018 18:36

you’d seriously turn down a paid for holiday because you might have to have a single bed? Are you aware how ludicrous that sounds?!

I think some people might just be arguing for the sake of it as I can't think of a single adult I know who would turn down a hildiay if they thought they might get a single bad!

OP posts:

NutElla5x · 14/08/2018 18:38

Maybe it's not just about the bed.You mention your 15yr old suffers with anxiety op.Do you maybe give her special treatment because of this,even subconsciously?If so,your eldest DD may feel resentful of what she sees as preferential treatment.Either way as the adult she should be given the double bed,I mean there's gotta be some perks to this being grown up malarkey!

TheDishRanAwayWithTheSpoon · 14/08/2018 18:40

Why has she always been allowed to chose first? Your youngest two are therefore always going to lose out. Especially the 15yo who will never be the oldest or never get the benefits of being the youngest.

She will cope with a single bed, she is getting a free holiday ffs! She isn't paying for it and is therefore just as entitled as the 12yo and the 15yo to a double.

YeTalkShiteHen · 14/08/2018 18:47

I think some people might just be arguing for the sake of it as I can't think of a single adult I know who would turn down a hildiay if they thought they might get a single bad!

Would I fuck, and I’m as wide as I am tall (not literally obviously but you get the gist)

YeTalkShiteHen · 14/08/2018 18:47

Turn it down I mean!

ShesABelter · 14/08/2018 18:47

Can't believe people are saying she should get the double as she's an adult (storming in away isn't actually mature). No she's ops child, just the same as the others and doesn't deserve special treatment. Also her 12 year old brother may well be taller than her.

howabout · 14/08/2018 18:49

My 15 yo suggested your 18 yo should offer the 12 yo the 2 singles so they can spend the evening practising jumping between them. My 7 yo thought this was a great plan - my problems may be greater than yours.

ccmms · 14/08/2018 18:59

Idk, im kinda with your dd on this. Its like unspoken rules isnt it? An adult gets a double over a child. An adult get to sit in the front seat over a child. And at 18 she is definitely an adult (even though you say she is your baby, im sure she will still be your baby at 91 but she will still be an adult). And whilst she may always be the oldest, she wont always be on holiday with you so the other two will have some opportunity to be the oldest whilst on holiday. At 18 i wouldnt have expected to 'race' my siblings to get the best bed, especially not against a 12 year old.

NutElla5x · 14/08/2018 19:01

I might have guessed the 12yr old was a boy .I would turf him out of that double bed myself if I was that poor 18yr old.

YeTalkShiteHen · 14/08/2018 19:02

Why has nobody read that it IS a double, made up of two twins pushed together????

ivykaty44 · 14/08/2018 19:03

Why have you always let dd18 always have first pick?

Do you think this is the real reason dd28 has thrown a strop, it could something genuine be bothering her

mistermagpie · 14/08/2018 19:11

Poor 18 year old?!! People are ridiculous. I slept in single beds in shared flats for years as a student and afterwards, I didn't spontaneously combust or anything!

Shockers · 14/08/2018 19:13

Why does the 12 yr old need to be turfed out for being male, NutElla??!!

NutElla5x · 14/08/2018 19:15

I slept in single beds in shared flats for years as a student and afterwards, I didn't spontaneously combust or anything!
Ditto.But it's not really about that is it?It's about the younger kids getting preferential treatment because they ran faster than the older one.

NutElla5x · 14/08/2018 19:18

Why does the 12 yr old need to be turfed out for being male, NutElla??!!
Not for being a boy,for being a kid ffs.

Mishappening · 14/08/2018 19:19

Why should an 18 year old not sleep in a single bed???? What harm might it do her?

Ignore her - she is an adult - well, at least theoretically!

MachineBee · 14/08/2018 19:19

I agree that adults should get the pick of the beds, but last Xmas we had a house full with visiting relatives and my 18yo DSD threw a massive strop about not having her old bedroom with the double bed (the one that was bought for her on the understanding that when adults were visiting she had to give it up).

So we ended up with a 56 yo in a single bed, a 30 yo on a blow up bed in the dining room and a 24 yo with his two DBs on a z-bed. DSD luxuriated in her big bed and room and didn’t lift a finger all visit. I was . My DH has promised this will never happen again.

OP - if your DD is behaving now, could you suggest she swaps with 12yo halfway through holiday?

MsJudgemental · 14/08/2018 19:30

12-year-old should swap. DD is an adult and this may be your last holiday with her.

Sarawish · 14/08/2018 19:31

I would be congratulating her siblings. She sounds spoilt and entitled.

OliviaStabler · 14/08/2018 19:33

I think some people might just be arguing for the sake of it as I can't think of a single adult I know who would turn down a hildiay if they thought they might get a single bad!

Why won't you answer the questions about bed allocation?

Did she know it was first come first served? If not, YABU as you have always given her first pick and she is simply used to that. Yes she was immature to flounce.

YeTalkShiteHen · 14/08/2018 19:35

OliviaStabler probably since it’s quite clear all the arguing about a single bed is irrelevant since the two twin beds are pushed together to make a double. Which has been pointed out numerous times and ignored.

OliviaStabler · 14/08/2018 19:56

OliviaStabler probably since it’s quite clear all the arguing about a single bed is irrelevant since the two twin beds are pushed together to make a double. Which has been pointed out numerous times and ignored.

I saw that and comprehended it but two twin beds just 'pushed' together often detach from each other when you are sleeping meaning you end up on the floor! Not the same thing as a double bed.

YeTalkShiteHen · 14/08/2018 19:58

It’s not the point though (unless people are arguing solely about a poor 18 year old on a lovely free holiday being forced into a single bed ).

The point is that for the first time ever, she didn’t get her pick and stropped off. And is now back and the argument is resolved.

OliviaStabler · 14/08/2018 20:07

The point is that for the first time ever, she didn’t get her pick and stropped off. And is now back and the argument is resolved.

The point is did she know about how the bedrooms were to be picked? If she knew it was first come, first served and she didn't move her bum quick enough out of the car then more fool her.

If she had no idea it was first come, first served and she is in the habit (formed by her parents) that she gets first pick then it is hardly surprising she throws a strop when they go against what she has experienced all her life.

SpiritedLondon · 14/08/2018 20:15

Well I think the mistake was allowing her to choose first all these years (when she was a child ) which has bred a horrible sense of entitlement. If you’d been a bit fairer you could have now bestowed the double bed as a reward for turning 18. ( allowing it as the eldest is shit as they are the eldest forever more and you end up with 50 year olds demanding the best room over 47 year olds later on down the line). Of course had she been a bit cleverer about it she would have realised that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar and maybe bribed her little brother with sweets or chocolate to swap with her. But of course she didn’t do that so she must suck it up.

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