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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think dd18 is acting like a spoilt brat?

184 replies

Twistella · 14/08/2018 16:31

We've driven for hours and hours to get to France. We've been lent a lovely house by a friend. The three dcs have all run in very excited as there are four en suite bedrooms. Dd18 got the last one left - it's lovely, pretty with an ensuite shower. But it has twin beds. All the others are doubles. She's thrown an almighty strop and is refusing to talk to us. Dh offered her a beer and she's actually flounced out into a random French town.

In every holiday she's ever been on shes got the 'best' room in account of being the oldest. AIBU to think she should just cheer the hell up? And if so, any tips on dealing with a vile tempered teen for a week?? Confused

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 14/08/2018 17:17

She should hqve got out the car quicker then silly moo let her flounce.

noego · 14/08/2018 17:19

She needs therapy.

Agentornika · 14/08/2018 17:20

Yup, 2 fucking 4 yetalkshitehelen - I cannot deal with that shit. This is the woman who worked out I'd spent £2 less on her than her sister for her 21st and sent me a text asking for the £2!

Nah mate

Agentornika · 14/08/2018 17:20

Sorry yetalkshitehen !

LagunaBubbles · 14/08/2018 17:22

and never moans about dd18 always getting her way

Theres your problem - why does your DD "always get her way"? I take it you and your DH have given in to her for the sake of a quiet life?

YeTalkShiteHen · 14/08/2018 17:22

Agentornika poor Helen Grin

Oh fuck that, I’m an understanding stepmum but I’d have done exactly what you did! What did he say?

exexpat · 14/08/2018 17:25

If she's 18, is she stressed about A-level results in a couple of days and using this as an excuse to kick off?

But also if she is 18 and about to head off to university, she had better get used to sleeping in a single bed as the ones in halls are often narrow and not at all comfortable...

Nacreous · 14/08/2018 17:25

I mean I think I would have been peeved about a twelve year old getting a double while I was in a single at 18, possibly unreasonably. I still don’t like a single bed now.

Isawthelight · 14/08/2018 17:26

Every holiday she's ever been on she got the best room on account of being the eldest

How shit for her siblings but this tantrum is a direct result of being led to believe she's more important than them.

InsomniacAnonymous · 14/08/2018 17:26

"A single bed is perfectly fine for a single person."

Of course it is! I'm 64 and perfectly happy to sleep in a single bed. My daughter lives in a house share and has a single bed. She's 27. Why do you think single beds are made and sold if they're so unacceptable that it's unreasonable to expect anyone to sleep in one on holiday? Baffling.

KinkyAfro · 14/08/2018 17:32

yetalkshitehen he's too soft with them and spoils them as he wasn't around much when they were younger due to being in the army. He's only just started saying no to them. She's just moved into her boyfriend's house which he's lived in for 15 years, and sent her dad a pic of some light fittings SHE wanted as a house warming present £300 each and she wanted 2. Was most put out when he said no plus the boyfriend is quite happy with the ones he's got lol

YeTalkShiteHen · 14/08/2018 17:32

IT ISN'T A SINGLE BED IT IS TWO SINGLES PUSHED TOGETHER TO MAKE A DOUBLE

Or to be pedantic, a super king since it will be 6ft wide.

MiddlingMum · 14/08/2018 17:33

If she was mine she'd be sleeping on the floor tonight. What a little madam to behave like that. Still, when she has a 2 foot six university bed with a lumpy mattress she'll have to get used to it.

We had a strict rota for holiday bed choosing, we never had any arguments.

llangennith · 14/08/2018 17:36

Let her have her strop. Ignore this and any further tantrums and sulks. Don't let her spoil the holiday for everyone else.
You presumably didn't force her to go on the family holiday so she can just behave.
My kids were happy to come in holiday with the family till they left home. So long as we were paying!

Talith · 14/08/2018 17:36

Don't back down. I know my eldest shouts loudest so tends to get his own way over his quieter brother even when I try to be vigilant I hardly notice the unfairness until it's happened! Spoilt entitled kids are bad enough (not saying yours are) but spoilt entitled adults are a million times worse so it won't hurt to use this as one more chance to hammer home a lesson in good manners.

She's on what sounds a lovely holiday and has a room to herself - tell her if she keeps on mithering you'll order some bunk beds in for her instead. Or you'll swap the bed for an inflateable lilo.

FeminaSum · 14/08/2018 17:38

YANBU to be annoyed by the strop. But I fully expect she won't be going on holiday with you again. I wouldn't, in her situation.

When I go on holiday with my adult siblings we work out a coin flipping system to decide who gets the biggest/nicest bedroom. Not because anyone is going to have a strop, but to be fair and save on discussion. Everyone stampede in and grab a bedroom isn't a good way to organise things, especially with children/young people.

ellendegeneres · 14/08/2018 17:39

She’d have hated my last holiday to Tunisia, booked a double room got two single beds. I was with my then dp. I was well happy, sleeping on my own side of the bed without it being invaded and only went over to his side when I wanted to mess it up.
I can’t see her issue, she’s being a brat

Guienne · 14/08/2018 17:39

I think it's a bit off to expect an 18 year old woman to sleep in a single bed ahead of a 12 year old child

Why? Single beds are perfectly suitable for adults. I have to travel quite a lot for work and am fairly often in single beds in B&Bs and hotels. I manage to survive, and I'm a hell of a lot older than 18.

Guienne · 14/08/2018 17:40

Assuming you're sharing a bed with your partner, you could point out that she's actually better off than you are.

Chocolatedeficitdisorder · 14/08/2018 17:42

I the problem was that you allowed to all to 'run in very excited'. Two of your DC are children and running in to 'bag' their rooms is a childish thing to do. Your eldest isn't a child and entered the house more like an adult, which is exactly what you would want from her at eighteen.

You and DH selected your rooms because you're adults.

The children selected their rooms because they're children and ran like children.
She couldn't really win could she?

I would take charge and reselect.

Buxtonstill · 14/08/2018 17:43

Let her have a strop. She has got a lot of shocks coming to her in the big wide world. She needs to learn that she will not always get her own way, and that throwing a wobbly will not change that. Better she learns that from you, rather than an employer.

MrsSnootyPants2018 · 14/08/2018 17:44

Her attitude is wrong, but I'd have put the 12 year old in a single bed and her in a double.

Isawthelight · 14/08/2018 17:45

I would take charge and reselect

Hmm...So you have the same attitude as the spoiled DD?

YeTalkShiteHen · 14/08/2018 17:45

This thread is totally showing up the ones who don’t read updates Grin

AcrossthePond55 · 14/08/2018 17:47

Ignore her. I'd let this be the first in a long line of lessons that life is going to teach her along the lines of "Life's isn't fair" and "You don't always get your way".

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