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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think dd18 is acting like a spoilt brat?

184 replies

Twistella · 14/08/2018 16:31

We've driven for hours and hours to get to France. We've been lent a lovely house by a friend. The three dcs have all run in very excited as there are four en suite bedrooms. Dd18 got the last one left - it's lovely, pretty with an ensuite shower. But it has twin beds. All the others are doubles. She's thrown an almighty strop and is refusing to talk to us. Dh offered her a beer and she's actually flounced out into a random French town.

In every holiday she's ever been on shes got the 'best' room in account of being the oldest. AIBU to think she should just cheer the hell up? And if so, any tips on dealing with a vile tempered teen for a week?? Confused

OP posts:
TillyTadpole · 14/08/2018 17:00

Your 18 year old chose to holiday with you? How did you manage that? Mmm.. on second thoughts an 18 year old strop is best avoided. I'm so glad mine turned their noses up at a family holiday at 16.

Ignore her OP. She can either choose to join the family or not. She's an adult. Her choice...She'll be back... soon! Don't give in to her....

MortyVicar · 14/08/2018 17:01

and never moans about dd18 always getting her way.

So do the others always have to give way to her? Does she decide things like where you're going, what you're going to eat (in general life, not just on holiday)? Do you always have to do what she wants to do, otherwise she throws a strop?

SusanneLinder · 14/08/2018 17:03

I would ignore it completely, and ignore the strop when she comes back, like it didn't happen.
If she mentions it again, I'd just state " well if you aren't fast, your last" and let her get on with it!

borlottibeans · 14/08/2018 17:04

Is it a full length single? I once, in my 20s, stayed in a holiday cottage with family where the singles were either very old or deliberately child sized and my feet stuck right out the bottom. I didn't throw a strop but I will admit to being a bit grumpy about it.

DameDoom · 14/08/2018 17:05

How on Earth did you manage to persuade an 18 year old to join the family on a long drive to spend a holiday in France with the family?

musicposy · 14/08/2018 17:06

Personally I'd have left the 15 yo where she is but made the 12yo swap. The 12yo will be on holiday with you many more times, but when the 18yo decides not to go with you next year you might regret it. I wouldn't expect an 18yo to sleep in a single over a 12yo to be honest.

Booboostwo · 14/08/2018 17:06

Is she off to Uni? She’ll have fun in halls of residence!

DarlingNikita · 14/08/2018 17:07

YANBU; that's spoilt and ungrateful. Ignore her.

I'm in my forties and I'll be sleeping in a single bed on my next holiday. It's hardly going to kill her.

Iloveacurry · 14/08/2018 17:08

Yes she’s acting like a child ... leave her to it and ignore.

OliviaStabler · 14/08/2018 17:08

Was there a discussion about room allocation being first come first served in advance? If not, I can understand why she is annoyed at being in a single bed over a 12 year old when she wasn't give the same chance to bag a good room.

YeTalkShiteHen · 14/08/2018 17:09

I’d ignore any strops completely, grey rock.

As my auld Ma would have said and frequently did to stroppy teenage me “you can join in when you’ve straightened your face!”

Until then, get on with enjoying your holiday!

Clairetree1 · 14/08/2018 17:09

I think it's a bit off to expect an 18 year old woman to sleep in a single bed ahead of a 12 year old child

I honestly can't believe anyone would be that spoilt as to make a fuss of what size bed they end up in on holiday.

If any of mine had ever made an issue of something so trivial they would have got no sympathy what so ever.

keyboardkate · 14/08/2018 17:09

Holidays can be shit can't they?

Stick to your guns. That room is hers. End of story.

She will soon be off to college or work and as an adult now she needs to show grace and maturity to her younger siblings. Enjoy the holiday and ignore the entitled strops.

Agentornika · 14/08/2018 17:10

FFS she needs to grow up, a good chunk of holiday places have twins beds pushed together and me and DP manage to sleep just fine in them. It's about time the other kids are put first if the 18 year old always gets her way, tell her it's tough and to grow up

InfiniteVariety · 14/08/2018 17:10

Every holiday she's ever been on she got the best room on account of being the eldest

Speaking as a younger sister, I'd say this is something you should have tackled years ago - when we were children my elder sister always got the best of everything and carried on into adult life thinking it was her due....

Twilight456 · 14/08/2018 17:10

I'd expect the 12 year old to have the single, for same reason as musicposy said.

VioletFlamingo · 14/08/2018 17:12

From experience, ignore it. Don't mention it and if she does just go all positive 'Never mind, many kids would kill to be on a holiday here. Shall we go for a swim in the pool. I love your bikini by the way...'
Not reacting is hard but easiest and can throw them a bit. With DD in her worst moments I used to just listen and listen and not reply, just umm along with a few 'Ok's. After a while of ranting she would stop and ask if I was going to reply. I'd just say 'I'm listening to you darling, now let's leave it for now and go for a swim/shopping/cook dinner.' She would stomp her feet and storm off but I hadn't added smoke to the fire or said anything that she could then try and argue with. Mae it easier for her to awkwardly slip back in and be normal later on.

This is after many teenage arguments from hell.

VioletFlamingo · 14/08/2018 17:14

Do agree with others, if it is a small child's single then maybe she has a point...

Agentornika · 14/08/2018 17:14

DPs daughter threw a full on strop when I wouldn't get out of the front seat of the car so she could sit in it, there were tears, snot and everything and it went on for about 10 minutes. I did get out of the front seat of the car, and carried on walking back into the house.

TheConstantMoaner · 14/08/2018 17:15

She Sounds spoiled. Moaning about a twin bed is bloody ridiculous. Don’t move anyone around. She doesn’t always need to get her way. Good life lesson.
Ignore her and enjoy your holiday.

Agentornika · 14/08/2018 17:15

Oh and she was 24 at the time!

YeTalkShiteHen · 14/08/2018 17:15

It’s two singles pushed together, so effectively a double anyway!

YeTalkShiteHen · 14/08/2018 17:16

Agentornika I reserved judgement thinking she was about 6! 2-fucking-4???

FrancisCrawford · 14/08/2018 17:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mistermagpie · 14/08/2018 17:17

She's being ridiculous but teenagers (I know she's an adult, but only just) are ridiculous.

If you're of a mind, would the 12 year old or the 15 year old be up for negotiations? We moved a lot and the last time I got the 'big' room because I agreed to give my brother something he wanted of mine. Might be worth a try to keep the peace but keep the decision making between them.