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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think dd18 is acting like a spoilt brat?

184 replies

Twistella · 14/08/2018 16:31

We've driven for hours and hours to get to France. We've been lent a lovely house by a friend. The three dcs have all run in very excited as there are four en suite bedrooms. Dd18 got the last one left - it's lovely, pretty with an ensuite shower. But it has twin beds. All the others are doubles. She's thrown an almighty strop and is refusing to talk to us. Dh offered her a beer and she's actually flounced out into a random French town.

In every holiday she's ever been on shes got the 'best' room in account of being the oldest. AIBU to think she should just cheer the hell up? And if so, any tips on dealing with a vile tempered teen for a week?? Confused

OP posts:
JayDot500 · 14/08/2018 17:47

We always have a rule that oldest picks first, or else we'd get a 5 year old with the biggest bed because kids are like that.

In your scenario, I don't agree that she should have been left with twins pushed together, but your youngest isn't a kid anymore either. People in general can be more accommodating than others, but she's not. Just don't expect her to happily agree to any more family holidays soon.

RomanyRoots · 14/08/2018 17:50

The 18 year old should have a double and the 12 year old a single.
I'd have just allocated them rooms when they arrived, so much simpler and less falling out and stropping.

keyboardkate · 14/08/2018 17:53

The last thing I wanted to do when I was 18 was to have holidays "en famille".

Far better to be given the responsibility to stay home and mind the house (and have mad parties and so on). Cutting the old apron strings and the freedom from parental/sibling oppression you know?

Much better choice for someone that age.

FASH84 · 14/08/2018 17:57

Numbers system works, everyone dresses a number and that's the order you pick in

FASH84 · 14/08/2018 17:58

*chooses a number (from a hat or another suitable receptical)

Maelstrop · 14/08/2018 17:58

Oh and she was 24 at the time!

Fucking hell! Batshit! Did your DP say anything?

Alicatz66 · 14/08/2018 18:01

My 17 year old DC just came to Cornwall with us and had a single bed !! He's 6 foot 3 !! Tell her bollocks and take no notice!

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 14/08/2018 18:03

What’s with all the amazement that an 18 year old student goes on a family holiday? She’s presumably in no position to finance her own, at this point.

Metoodear · 14/08/2018 18:04

Tell her if she dosent sort her shot out she can stay at home next year

Shockers · 14/08/2018 18:04

Is she awaiting A level results? DS is very on edge this week.

HelpmeobiMN · 14/08/2018 18:05

Ignore her! She’ll get over herself soon. If it’s any consolation I once behaved in a very similar way to your DD when I was on a family holiday aged about 16. Within a day I was pretty ashamed of myself and behaving extra sweetly to make up for it! Hopefully she will have a similar come-to-Jesus moment...

GreenTulips · 14/08/2018 18:08

In every holiday she's ever been on shes got the 'best' room in account of being the oldest

You do realize that at no point with the other 2 EVER be the eldest?

Does she gonin the front of the car? Get first pick with things?

You have 3 kids treat them fairly

buckingfrolicks · 14/08/2018 18:09

Mad to make her compete with her siblings. Bound to end in tears.

She should have had double room imo. She's an adult - as MN trots out every time someone is 18. As the only other adult in the group, the double bed should have been hers. You have put your adult DD in the "kids" category and no wonder she's pissed off.

Original poster
Twistella · 14/08/2018 18:09

Much better choice for someone that age

She had the choice to do that. Strangely she chose to come on an all expenses paid holiday, with sports activities all laid on plus a beautiful French house with pool, local town that she can cycle to etc etc.

There's no way on earth I would have passed that up to stay at home and dog walk!

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 14/08/2018 18:09

I have two DDs. The 18yo is 4’5”. The 15yo is 6’1”

And the 18yo loves coming on holiday with us.

Just saying that not all 18yo are giant. Or stroppy.

Original poster
Twistella · 14/08/2018 18:10

She is a kid. She's our kid. She might be 18 but she is not a grown woman yet.

She's fine now thank god and playing cards with her siblings.

OP posts:
timeisnotaline · 14/08/2018 18:17

Good Practice for the hostel rooms she will be staying in on holidays with friends the next Couple of years.

keyboardkate · 14/08/2018 18:17

I've often thought that eighteen is too young to be considered and adult in law.

But it is.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 14/08/2018 18:17

Do adults actually die or something if forced to sleep in a single bed? For a week or two? When they have an en suite as well? And when they’re not expected to share? even though they could because it’s actually two pushed together

She’s being utterly pathetic and she should be embarrassed about it. And those of you saying you’d rather stay at home next year if you were ‘treated the same’ as OP’s daughter - you’d seriously turn down a paid for holiday because you might have to have a single bed? Are you aware how ludicrous that sounds?!

Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 14/08/2018 18:20

I’ve been 5ft 4 since I was 11. Since when are young women generally taller than a single bed is long?

(Apologies OP I know I’ve cross posted with you - also apologies if you are a tall family!)

OliviaStabler · 14/08/2018 18:24

@Twistella

Did you tell her rooms were on a first come first served basis before you all left the car?

RebootYourEngine · 14/08/2018 18:26

I am not surprised she is having a strop. For her whole life she has had the pick of rooms but now she doesn't. Was it discussed beforehand or just put on her that day?

serbska · 14/08/2018 18:30

I’m the wrong side of 40 and even I can manage to sleep in a single bed!

Goth237 · 14/08/2018 18:30

I think the problem is she is spoilt. She's been allowed to have her pick, which is unfair on your other DC's, so of course she's going to expect it every time. Not that her behaviour is anything but childish, but if you've allowed it before then you should expect to act this way.

BarbedBloom · 14/08/2018 18:33

I think that as the other adult, she should have got the double bed and the 12 year old should have had the single. Either that or flip coins to decide.

I am guessing she won’t come on holiday next year and the problem will solve itself though.