To hate the town in which I live?

[CuckooLuckoo]

I've name changed as it might make me identifiable .

I live in quite a rough town in an area of the UK that is commonly thought of and joked about as being full of unintelligent, inbred people. I absolutely hate it here.

I grew up in a really lovely place with friendly people and then when I was 15 my parents decided to move to this area because of my father's work. I started at school here and absolutely hated it. I ended up leaving school at 16 and getting a job and for some reason just never moved away. DH is not from here but also moved here as a child like I did.

Reasons I hate it here:

Its very very rough. Especially the town centre. It's like being on the Jeremy Kyle show when you walk through town.

People who are from the area are extremely rude and unfriendly. You are not considered a local unless you are someone's cousin and someone has known you since birth. If you chat to someone, for example, who is serving you in a shop, they look at you like you're absolute crap. Every single friend that I have is not from the area originally.

There is nothing to do here at all; if it's a rainy day the only place to take kids is a smelly, dirty soft play place that has drug addicts in the door way. We have no decent shopping centre, no decent cinema, no ice skating/roller skating/trampolining places for kids, no decent restaurants or pubs (stabbing is a problem in pubs here it seems). There is literally nothing to do!

The general 'rough-ness' of the area worries me for my DC growing up.

It's in the middle of nowhere! You can't just pop to another town for the day without driving for an hour!

I really want to move away from the area but DH won't. We both have businesses, mine I could run from anywhere but DH's is more local. We do have a really nice house in a nice village on the outskirts of the town, but this doesn't override all of the negatives of the town for me. DH hates it here and hates the local people too but won't move.

I actually feel constantly down and depressed living here. If we go out for the day away from the town and to another area I perk up a lot and feel so much happier.

AIBU to hate where I live? Is anyone else in the same position?

Sounds grim.

Can you go further afield? I wouldn't want my DC growing up in an unfriendly place though.

Understand that you don’t want to name the town but what region is it in? There must be other better towns within a 30 mile radius that you could consider?

It's in Norfolk.

There are some tiny towns within a 30 mile radius but the people in these towns are similar to the people of the town I'm in. It's not a friendly county. Plus the tiny towns have even less to do in them.

The other thing that I absolutely hate is the accent. The Norfolk accent is one of the worst accents, if not the worst, that I've ever heard! It makes my teeth itch just hearing someone with a broad accent.

Why won't your DH move if he also hates it?

I don't think he can be bothered to move.

Unfortunately you might find somewhere nicer has the price tag to match. I guess it depends if your DH is willing to commute as it doesn’t sound like he can move the business. There must be other activities in Norfolk, country walks & decent beaches.

Oh, it's not the worst accent. Try Essex. Or Birmingham?

I knew you were going to say Norfolk! We once went to King's Lynn and came home on the late train after a party rather than stay in our hotel.

Do you have kids yet?

Compel your DH to book a weekend in Brighton and see what he's missing.

Where would you like to live? Start working on DH, showing all the potential and possibilities of moving away. Surely he doesn't want your DC to grow up in a place he hates.

I would have guessed East Anglia / fens for your OP (I was going for Boston or March). Norfolk has beautiful parts but the small town mindset can be really horrible, especially for those considered 'outsiders' (and really who would want to be an insider if it's like that!).

Sounds like you both need something to give you that push - you don't just need reasons to leave where you are but somewhere much more exciting to go.

Come up North it's grand!

forbidden fruit, that's the very town! I can totally see why you didn't want to stay!

Yes, we have two school age DCs

Itsear, yes there are walks and beaches but after 20+ years we've done them all and to be honest want other things to do.

Sounds utterly grim. Is your dh not bothered by the fact that your dc are growing up in such a bad area solely due to his choosing?

I knew you were going to say Norfolk too. I have experience of it there too. It's beautiful but generally they don't like 'outsiders'.

My advice, move away. If your DH cares for your wellbeing he will understand your need to get away. Life's too short to be so miserable.

I knew it would be Norfolk too. I had the misfortune to grow up there and whenever I make the trip back I'm shocked at how down at heel everything seems compared to where I live now. If I'm right about the town you're living in, I also lived there and it was just as you describe. I'd highly recommend you see about moving, I know it's a whole lot of stress but it's your lifestyle and contentment that's important, you only get a short time on this planet.

I don’t like where I live either. The house is lovely, the areas not terrible but same as you town nearby is awful in my opinion. We don5 live here through choice my DP is from this area and has a business which gives us a nice life. The minute he can sell up/ retire we will up sticks and move back to my home county which we both prefer. I can completely understand how your feeling, my answer is to avoid the areas nearby that I don’t like and pretend they don’t exist 😊. Maybe if you could just move a little further away it might help? If you found somewhere you liked could you househunt a little then show your husband the perfect property you’ve found? It may encourage him if he doesn’t have to put in to much effort personally

Crypto, I'm glad you were able to get away from the town! It's an awful place isn't it! Hope you're living somewhere a lot nicer, with much nicer people now.

Sounds like the town im from in Kent. Small minded louts ! Scotland is now my last frontier of niceness. Lived here 20 years and absolutely love it.

I live in a town of 4000 people

30 mins from an airport that takes you to London, Dublin, Amsterdam and from there the rest of the world...

10 minutes from a skating rink, cinema, shopping centre

5 minutes from 1/2 a million acres of pine forest

5 minutes from miles of golden sand beaches / rocky coves

10 minutes from white water rafting.

The UK is a diverse place. Its worth considering moving.

Oh and ive been to Kings Lynn - yep its a shithole !

Move to Northumberland,,The people are friendly,,there are lots of nice small towns and villages,,,and the accent is easy going

I guessed Norfolk from the op. I'm in Essex leave my Essex accent alone

Norfolk is very close knit.

How about somewhere like Peterborough? There is more to do and the commute is doable.

I know things are bad but I had to spend my teenage years in Barrow-in-Furness! If you've never been, it's in the dictionary entry for shit.

Move, you'll never regret it.

Could your DH commute from Norwich,?

If you husband doesn't want to move his work could you move closer to nicer places like Norwich or Cambridge? Would mean that he has more of a commute but could be a compromise.

If you dislike where you live, it's an awful feeling and is so wearing. We moved out of London to a part of Surrey that I just NEVER felt happy in, didn't meet any kindred spirits (bar one couple who left as fast as we did!) and although when we moved there, we thought it would be our 'forever move', we decided to cut our losses and move after only 2 years. I am now SO much happier where we live. You only have one life -if you have a chance to make it happier, do it!!

I guessed Norfolk too. Went to Kings Lynn once and didn't bother even getting out the car.