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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate the town in which I live?

185 replies

CuckooLuckoo · 14/08/2018 16:13

I've name changed as it might make me identifiable .

I live in quite a rough town in an area of the UK that is commonly thought of and joked about as being full of unintelligent, inbred people. I absolutely hate it here.

I grew up in a really lovely place with friendly people and then when I was 15 my parents decided to move to this area because of my father's work. I started at school here and absolutely hated it. I ended up leaving school at 16 and getting a job and for some reason just never moved away. DH is not from here but also moved here as a child like I did.

Reasons I hate it here:

Its very very rough. Especially the town centre. It's like being on the Jeremy Kyle show when you walk through town.

People who are from the area are extremely rude and unfriendly. You are not considered a local unless you are someone's cousin and someone has known you since birth. If you chat to someone, for example, who is serving you in a shop, they look at you like you're absolute crap. Every single friend that I have is not from the area originally.

There is nothing to do here at all; if it's a rainy day the only place to take kids is a smelly, dirty soft play place that has drug addicts in the door way. We have no decent shopping centre, no decent cinema, no ice skating/roller skating/trampolining places for kids, no decent restaurants or pubs (stabbing is a problem in pubs here it seems). There is literally nothing to do!

The general 'rough-ness' of the area worries me for my DC growing up.

It's in the middle of nowhere! You can't just pop to another town for the day without driving for an hour!

I really want to move away from the area but DH won't. We both have businesses, mine I could run from anywhere but DH's is more local. We do have a really nice house in a nice village on the outskirts of the town, but this doesn't override all of the negatives of the town for me. DH hates it here and hates the local people too but won't move.

I actually feel constantly down and depressed living here. If we go out for the day away from the town and to another area I perk up a lot and feel so much happier.

AIBU to hate where I live? Is anyone else in the same position?

OP posts:
TheBitchOfTheVicar · 14/08/2018 17:15

Well, the accent stuff just sounds like you are completely ground down and looking for everything to hate, tbh.

I am an outsider to Norfolk and have found people extremely friendly - I second pp who said could you consider a move closer to Norfolk.

It looks like you are only getting pp in here who agree with you - there are plenty, like me, who don't.

Alternatively, would you you consider moving more rurally? Some beautiful coastal villages not too far away from KL. Though this can be expensive, and less access to amenities.

Sound like you need a come-to-Jesus with your DH, since you feel so strongly.

TheBitchOfTheVicar · 14/08/2018 17:15

*a move closer to NORWICH.

Wishiwasa · 14/08/2018 17:17

I live in Northampton. Would prefer Norfolk to that! Laughed out loud at teenage years in Barrow-in-Furness as I went to sixth form there... You have my sympathy!!!

Wishiwasa · 14/08/2018 17:18

MorningsEleven, where do you live now?

LunaLovegoodsRadishes · 14/08/2018 17:30

I grew up near Daventry, and moved to London at 19. I didn't like Daventry, still don't, because there is nothing to do there. My family drive for miles to Northampton and Rugby just to watch a film! I have loved London, but am now considering a move to East Sussex for a quieter life and better value housing.

If you have a car, go on a road trip and do some research. Look up the nicer areas you have seen on the internet and find out if you can afford to live in those places.

MorningsEleven · 14/08/2018 23:21

@Wishiwasa

Barrow sixth form? Oh my life! I got lucky and went to Ulverston 6th form. We're in Edinburgh now - more than 3 surnames, it's total cosmopolitan!

apriljune12 · 14/08/2018 23:29

Never been to Norfolk snd thanks op now wont bother :) just think of those turkey rolls they used to sell in the 80s. Bernard Matthews???

God move you only have one life .

LaurieFairyCake · 14/08/2018 23:36

Oh it’s so awful there. 13 years ago Dh and I nearly moved there (it’s cheap and had a gorgeous Georgian house we went to look at)

On our only day there a bloke was beating up this woman in the middle of the town and no one was doing anything Shock Dh and I ran over, Dh chased him off and I called an ambulance and stayed with her - she was quite badly hurt.

We were literally there 2 hours and have never gone back since. In all our trips around the cheaper areas of Britain to live that was by far the worst.

I stayed 18 years in a place I disliked - please don’t do that. Never regretted leaving and really mourn the years I spent there.

hmmwhatatodo · 14/08/2018 23:47

Crossing Norfolk off my places to visit list. I thought it was all windmills and maybe narrow boats. Is Norwich ok?

LaurieFairyCake · 14/08/2018 23:51

Norwich is great (as are some of the seaside places like Cromer obviously)

Moussemoose · 14/08/2018 23:58

Norwich is great. North Norfolk around King's Lynn isn't.

The home of the neck tattoo......

TheBitchOfTheVicar · 15/08/2018 08:11

Pretty much everywhere in Norfolk is fine - like every other county, it has it's less desirable places! Nothing wrong with Norfolk. Weird that anyone would let a thread like this put them off a whole COUNTY!

Ellisandra · 15/08/2018 08:17

My cousin is in KL and as I read your OP, I thought: this is KL.
I don’t have any advice, but I do have sympathy!

CasperGutman · 15/08/2018 08:48

Don't be put off visiting Norfolk by this thread - Norwich, and the Broads, are great. Kings Lynn certainly sounds a bit shit, though!

MorningsEleven · 15/08/2018 14:16

I went to Norwich once. I had an argument about a sandwich.

HelpmeobiMN · 15/08/2018 14:20

Used to live in Norfolk and couldn’t agree more OP - by far the most parochial, narrow-minded, unfriendly place I’ve ever known. Many people there won’t give you the time of day if you aren’t seen as being ‘from’ there. I found it unbelievably depressing.

(Apologies to the many lovely people who do live in Norfolk - it’s not your fault you’re so outnumbered by the arseholes!)

Maybe your DH will be convinced to move! My quality of life astronomically improved when we did.

HelpmeobiMN · 15/08/2018 14:24

March is a particularly heinous town but I agree Kings Lynn isn’t much better!

condepetie · 15/08/2018 14:26

If it is King's Lynn then I understand. It's either that or Great Yarmouth.

North Norfolk and Norwich are lovely. It's my home and I adore it but those fringes, yikes.

There's tons of nice little towns you could move to and your husband could commute. Even places like Swaffham and Dereham are okay.

Pyjamaface · 15/08/2018 14:37

I would have guessed at Kings Lynn. It's a bit of a shit hole. BUT I work there 2 days a week and I've made friends, never had the impression shop staff are looking at me like a piece of shit, not everyone has a Norfolk accent either.

Lynnsport have loads of stuff on over the holidays for kids, no druggies hanging around that door. Festival Too has only just finished with loads of music for a couple of weeks, there are road races, bike races, fireworks in The Walks every year etc etc. All for free

There is no no more trouble on friday/Saturday nights than anywhere else.

The coast is easy to get to (apart from traffic cos everybody else is trying to go at the same time), Sandringham estate, Houghton Hall, Norwich is an hour away, Peterborough is an hour, regular trains to London and Cambridge.

It's not somewhere I would ever want to live but it is what you make it.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 15/08/2018 14:37

I lived in Huntingdon for a year and it was awful, I know exactly what you mean OP. Most people I met were a real struggle to befriend, less so the older generation. I felt very isolated. A lot of the other towns around there had the same feeling, even Cambridge to an extent.

AndInShortIWasAfraid · 15/08/2018 14:40

I was considering a holiday to Norfolk, the pictures looked lovely, it can't be as awful as Swindon. I once literally fell over someone (she was lying on the ground) shooting up. And she was pregnant. I am quite poor so I've lived in my fair share of crap areas. Nothing helpful to add except I feel your pain OP.

Debfronut · 15/08/2018 14:46

My grandmother lived in Downham Market. KL was agrim town to visit all those years ago.

DuggeesWoggle · 15/08/2018 15:08

Just to balance the Norfolk hatred here I spent several months working in North Norfolk in the mid 00s and loved it. Granted it was for a conservation organisation and it was on the posh holiday home belt of the coast so I probably didn't see much of the more working class locals (which lets face it is who we're talking about here). The coast is absolutely stunning, which huge sandy beaches and the wildlife amazing. I used to spend hours biking around the country lanes and hardly see anyone. It is quite posh around places like Holkham, Blakeley etc but the flip side of that is you get great pubs/gift shops etc. Wells and Sheringhsm are good places for traditional seaside with just the right level of tat. Don't let it put you off holidaying in the area, it is lovely countrysife, and the unfriendly places are not generally places you would spend much time on holiday anyway. Kings Lynn was actually not a bad little spot for a poke around but this was well over 10 years ago now.

hannnnnnnxo · 15/08/2018 15:19

Ah I would have guessed Stoke on Trent, but I have never been to Norfolk before

Itsear · 15/08/2018 15:33

Corby is the worst place that I’ve been, maybe I ended up there on a bad day but it was just awful (racist graffiti, rudeness & generally grim).

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