To hate the town in which I live?

[CuckooLuckoo]

I've name changed as it might make me identifiable .

I live in quite a rough town in an area of the UK that is commonly thought of and joked about as being full of unintelligent, inbred people. I absolutely hate it here.

I grew up in a really lovely place with friendly people and then when I was 15 my parents decided to move to this area because of my father's work. I started at school here and absolutely hated it. I ended up leaving school at 16 and getting a job and for some reason just never moved away. DH is not from here but also moved here as a child like I did.

Reasons I hate it here:

Its very very rough. Especially the town centre. It's like being on the Jeremy Kyle show when you walk through town.

People who are from the area are extremely rude and unfriendly. You are not considered a local unless you are someone's cousin and someone has known you since birth. If you chat to someone, for example, who is serving you in a shop, they look at you like you're absolute crap. Every single friend that I have is not from the area originally.

There is nothing to do here at all; if it's a rainy day the only place to take kids is a smelly, dirty soft play place that has drug addicts in the door way. We have no decent shopping centre, no decent cinema, no ice skating/roller skating/trampolining places for kids, no decent restaurants or pubs (stabbing is a problem in pubs here it seems). There is literally nothing to do!

The general 'rough-ness' of the area worries me for my DC growing up.

It's in the middle of nowhere! You can't just pop to another town for the day without driving for an hour!

I really want to move away from the area but DH won't. We both have businesses, mine I could run from anywhere but DH's is more local. We do have a really nice house in a nice village on the outskirts of the town, but this doesn't override all of the negatives of the town for me. DH hates it here and hates the local people too but won't move.

I actually feel constantly down and depressed living here. If we go out for the day away from the town and to another area I perk up a lot and feel so much happier.

AIBU to hate where I live? Is anyone else in the same position?

sacredgeometry - Sounds like you have found a cracking place to live. I am looking in Scotland for a new home. I am trying to work out where you can be. Can you give a hint? Is it East or West? Your description makes it sound so ideal
A PM would be fine if you don't want to go public

TIA

True there are some pretty grim places in Norfolk, but to slate the county as a whole is unfair and the posters that have said they won’t bother to visit will be missing some beautiful places, so I come to the defense of Norfolk!

Norwich is a great small city with a beautiful cathedral, really nice vibe there. I lived over the Suffolk border and it was my usual place to shop until we moved last year, now I’m stuck with Ipswich.

The Broads are lovely as are lots of the north Norfolk and coastal villages with their welcoming pubs. Lots of nice places to visit, stately homes, quirky places for kids like Bewilderwood. Thetford Forest. Holkham beach is honestly just stunning, one of the best in the country. It definitely has its plus points.

Don't move to Peterborough! Its only saving grace (imo) is its the last stop on the fast train before London.

The best restaurant according to the locals, was a Harvester. Schools were shit, and one of the biggest attractions was an out of town Tesco

Is it near Norwich uni? My Niece is hoping to move there for uni from London and is an ethnic minority. I worry for her as she generally an anxious person and very very quiet. We know nothing about the area. Thanks

Could you use the "schools" angle to try and persuade your partner to move somewhere nicer within commuting distance in the next few years? I know someone mentioned a secondary school that was rated "good" but personally I wouldn't trust the rating--any school in an area as grim as you say is likely be poor by national standards (low aspirations among pupils and parents, difficulty keeping good teachers).

Surely it can't be as bad as Bridgwater?!

Eddy please don't worry. I'm from Norwich and it's lovely and your niece will be fine at UEA. It actually has the highest number of people staying in the city after graduating than any other university. All counties have bad areas and Kings Lynn in on the border, quite far from Norwich.

Thank you so much deptfordgirl. That's really good to know.

I think Norfolk is fantastic, would not want to live in KL though. Defn look at a small village away from the towns. The community spirit in those is often great.

To the poster who thought Watton - well that's my nearest town and I think it's more than good enough for my needs.

Please move. I was brought up having to go to school with lots of 'rough' kids, it was awful.

Sorry but I'd move and if dh chose to stay, that would be up to him. Life is too short to live in a miserable shithole.

We went to Norfolk on holiday this year. Mainly did beaches, but went to KL one day for some British shopping (I'm an expat and we live in Germany). It was clearly not the wealthiest place, but I certainly didn't experience it as a Kyle-fest. Everyone in the shops etc was perfectly lovely, and no weird looks when my dh and dc spoke German on occasion, which was incredibly refreshing as the weird looks when dc and I speak English over here (in a tourist town which I am sure you would consider a lot naicer than KL) are a tiresome part of day-to-day life.

The M&S was a bit shit, though. Or is that every M&S these days? Still, they had the Wensleydale and carrot chutney sandwiches that have to feature in every UK trip I make, so I was happy.

BonnieF I was going to say exactly the same! Kings Lynn can’t be that bad!

Mansfield/Chesterfield/Hull are awful!

I grew up near KL in one of the other towns mentioned and can confirm the whole area is pretty grim. I hate going back, there’s such a weird mentality there, very much stuck in the past but not in a good way.

That said KL is no worse than many other small rundown market towns imo and agree Norwich is lovely, I’d go back there like a shot.

@AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight - sadly that is every M&S these days!!

Glad you found the UK welcoming to your German speaking DH and DC. Where I holidayed this year, there were lots of Dutch families and everyone was making a big effort to be friendly, as if to compensate for Brexit!

Time to do some research so you can present your husband with options. I agree life is too short to live somewhere you hate. I’m from a Fenland town near Peterborough and I hear you, loud and clear. (Live in London now), but I’m originally from Norwich and lived in Beccles as a young child. Find a town/village you like; Norfolk does have them and tell your husband how unhappy you are. Good luck.

seems like a nice little town to me, I've been several times. Lovely bookshop!

A good bookshop is a bit of a benchmark for me when it comes to judging a town. I think it must say something about the residents if a town can support an independent bookshop. Ross-on-Wye, Falmouth, Axminster, Wimborne Minster, even tiny Petworth, all have independent bookshops and lots going for them in other ways: nice pubs, cafes, architecture and just a nice vibe about them.

DP, who isn't a reader, agrees with me on this.

scream

Jupiter9 there certainly are some extremely bizarre people out in the tiny hamlets around the spalding/boston/wisbech/Kings Lynn area if you get my jist....

Amen.

@EddyF DS2 has just finished his degree at UEA. He absolutely loved it there and has got job in Norwich. Please don’t worry about your niece, Norwich is a reall nice city. It’s quite small so it’s easy to get around.

I think people are being a bit daft to write off a whole county on the opinion of a few people on one town. Norwich is nice as are a lot of Norfolk’s beaches.

Also grew up in Norfolk (native scot) and bailed at the first opportunity. Kings Lynn won't improve until global warming takes care of the fens. Harsh but true!

Norwich is a hell of a long drive down a shit road but if your OH wants to understandably stick with the business he has built up, you should consider some of the towns and villages in NW norfolk that are within reach of KL but closer to Norwich... many are just as bad, but some are really nice. Norwich is a decent city with good amenities, low crime and plenty of nicer people.

Sorry to those who think i sound like a snob. I had a lot of anger about how i waa treated by the locals as a child, purely because of my "foreign" background. OP, this will not improve for you or your children, you will always be an outsider to them.

How very rude about Norfolk accents. I have split my time equally between both Kent and Norfolk for many years and love both places equally.

OP what about Fakenham, that's not supposed to be too bad. Norwich is lovely as others have said but it's quite a trek from kings Lynn. One of the downsides of Norfolk are it's poor roads and transport links.
I think villages, although nicer, could present the same kind of problem as where you are.

No, YANBU

I hate hate hate the town in which I grew up. My dad moved us to the town before I was born, so I grew up there but I never felt happy or like I fitted in. People were either really snooty or really rough, no in between - and no one was kind. I told my dad I hated in a few years ago (I’m now in my 30s), and he threw his drink (glass too) at the walk and flounced off to bed. He worked away all the time so never actually had to experience the town! We had to suffer it!

Now I live in a different town which I absolutely love and couldn’t be happier in. It makes such a difference to be able to choose your hometown. Maybe one day your DH will come round.

God it sounds hideous OP. You have to move - imagine what your DC will be doing in their teens if there are no other options.

Get on Rightmove now!

I heard that whole region was / is a UKIP stronghold. Farage generally found his support in the pits of society.