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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate the town in which I live?

185 replies

CuckooLuckoo · 14/08/2018 16:13

I've name changed as it might make me identifiable .

I live in quite a rough town in an area of the UK that is commonly thought of and joked about as being full of unintelligent, inbred people. I absolutely hate it here.

I grew up in a really lovely place with friendly people and then when I was 15 my parents decided to move to this area because of my father's work. I started at school here and absolutely hated it. I ended up leaving school at 16 and getting a job and for some reason just never moved away. DH is not from here but also moved here as a child like I did.

Reasons I hate it here:

Its very very rough. Especially the town centre. It's like being on the Jeremy Kyle show when you walk through town.

People who are from the area are extremely rude and unfriendly. You are not considered a local unless you are someone's cousin and someone has known you since birth. If you chat to someone, for example, who is serving you in a shop, they look at you like you're absolute crap. Every single friend that I have is not from the area originally.

There is nothing to do here at all; if it's a rainy day the only place to take kids is a smelly, dirty soft play place that has drug addicts in the door way. We have no decent shopping centre, no decent cinema, no ice skating/roller skating/trampolining places for kids, no decent restaurants or pubs (stabbing is a problem in pubs here it seems). There is literally nothing to do!

The general 'rough-ness' of the area worries me for my DC growing up.

It's in the middle of nowhere! You can't just pop to another town for the day without driving for an hour!

I really want to move away from the area but DH won't. We both have businesses, mine I could run from anywhere but DH's is more local. We do have a really nice house in a nice village on the outskirts of the town, but this doesn't override all of the negatives of the town for me. DH hates it here and hates the local people too but won't move.

I actually feel constantly down and depressed living here. If we go out for the day away from the town and to another area I perk up a lot and feel so much happier.

AIBU to hate where I live? Is anyone else in the same position?

OP posts:
deptfordgirl · 15/08/2018 15:53

Oh dear a lot of Norfolk hate here. Norwich is beautiful, arty, liberal and inclusive. (Not biased at all). I live somewhere different now but whenever I go back I wish I lived there. It's not as if Norfolk is big, can't your husband commute from Norwich? And I don't have one but I personally love the Norfolk accent.

deptfordgirl · 15/08/2018 15:54

I'm guessing you live towards Great Yarmouth?

deptfordgirl · 15/08/2018 16:00

Oops just saw it's Kings Lynn. I'm not that familiar with that town but admittedly wouldn't choose to live there.

jamoncrumpets · 15/08/2018 16:02

I grew up in KL, being able to leave was the thing that spurred me on to work mega hard in my A Levels and get into a good uni. You have my sympathy, OP, it's an absolute shithole.

jamoncrumpets · 15/08/2018 16:05

You know what, OP? I reckon you're around my age. Maybe we went to school together!

RedBlu · 15/08/2018 16:12

I am from Norfolk and agree, Kings Lynn is shit. Norfolk has some lovely places to live, Kings Lynn is not one of them. You would be better heading towards Norwich. I am in North Norfolk and it's lovely here!

Parts of Norfolk can be very close knit - but it tends to be the more rural areas. Also I was born in Norfolk but I don't have a Norfolk accent!

SuperSuperSuper · 15/08/2018 16:16

I spent an academic year abroad as a student and I disliked the town I was in (teaching English) because it was dull and parochial. My pupils were lovely but the adults were icily polite to me (white Brit) and rudely dismissive to people from places like Kosovo and the Middle East. I sucked it up for those 9.5 months but if it had been longer .... ewwww. I sympathise. I think you need to be really robust with your DH - it's not as though he loves it and you loathe it! You're on the same page! It should not be that problematic to convince him.

rosieposey · 15/08/2018 16:19

We moved from Norfolk last autumn. I loved it there, we lived west acre/castle acre area and it was beautiful. Admittedly KL is a bit of a hole but sadly lots of market towns have gone that way of late ( whomever mentioned Swaffam must be joking as a nice place to live it was also pretty rough.)

We moved due to DH's job, I do miss where we lived but I'm glad we moved as it seems to be miles away from everywhere, Wiltshire is much easier to get to everything. I didn't have a problem with friendly people there but I did find it to be very racist, they didn't like anyone who was 'forrin' and if you were mixed race like my daughter then you'd often get asked ' where are you from'? 🙄

Grilledaubergines · 15/08/2018 16:24

I thought you would say Swadlincote. Now, there’s a dump.

Crossing Norfolk off a growing list of places to avoid.

LakieLady · 15/08/2018 16:25

Move, OP! Nearer to some of the nice parts of Norfolk (of which there are plenty), or somewhere else completely.

I grew up in Croydon and lived there until I was 35, when I managed to escape to East Sussex. When I go back to Croydon now, it feels like a foreign country, I can scarcely believe I ever lived there. It was the best thing I ever did.

I have a friend who comes from Wisbech. She says that Kings Lynn is where Wisbech people go for the day to make themselves feel better about living in Wisbech.

Marylou2 · 15/08/2018 16:34

Oh my! I’ve only been to Norfolk once. Sheringham I think and to Cromer. It seemed lovely there. I think every county has it’s pluses and minuses. Good luck with your move if you decide to do so,

mydogisthebest · 15/08/2018 17:28

I agree that Wisbech is even worse than Kings Lynn. I lived very close to Wisbech for a couple of years and hated it so much. The final straw was when we got burgled twice in a week and our van was stolen from outside our house.

We had lived in London for years and never had any problems

PrincessConsuelaBananahamm0ck · 15/08/2018 17:48

I guessed you were possibly referring Norfolk - guessed between Gt Yarmouth, King's Lynn, Thetford or Watton. Definitely move to another part of Norfolk if you can't leave Norfolk altogether. Norwich and it's suburbs is awesome. Wymondham is a nice town, as is Aylsham. I'm a Norwich girl, my family are all from King's Lynn. I often thank my parents for moving from KL to the Norwich area before I was born! Now going to link to a clip that shows how truly great Norfolk is. Just in case some of you have been put off by this thread. Hope it works!

www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-norfolk-44972642/norfolk-day-drone-flight-over-tourist-hot-spots

Carrotmama · 15/08/2018 17:59

I understand. I grew up in backwater villages near depressed towns in the north west famous for deprivation and the BNP. I was desperate to move away and for the last 20 years even thinking of moving back to that region makes me feel depressed. I get a sinking feeling approaching in the car when driving "home" to see family. It's a shame because there is stunning countryside around there and good access to Manchester for commuters, but the small mindedness and backward mindsets and racial tensions are so... draining on the soul.

Oysterbabe · 15/08/2018 18:03

I came on to ask if it's Kings Lynn Grin I grew up in Downham Market but moved far far away after uni.

Moussemoose · 15/08/2018 18:10

Carrotmama but the difference is your home town has good access to Manchester and King's Lynn has good access to no where........

donajimena · 15/08/2018 18:15

I'm another one who thought it would be Stoke!

mostdays · 15/08/2018 18:19

I used to live in Wisbech, op. Kings Lynn was better!
I hated it too. We moved 6 years ago. I wouldn't go back for anything.

Rebecca36 · 15/08/2018 18:24

I was surprised to hear your town is in Norfolk. We've had homes in Hingham and Wymondham and loved them, also love many other villages and towns and coastal areas. Holkham beach and Blakeney spring to mind. All in all Norfolk is my favourite place apart from London. The people are very friendly, something I and husband aren't so used to coming from London where no-one says,"Good morning" when you go out unless they know you.

However I have heard about very rough areas in Norfolk. When I went to Attleborough (only for shopping) it was noticeably different and Yarmouth is rough.

I don't blame you for wanting to move and suggest you dig your heels in. You could move somewhere with a totally different atmosphere that is still within driving distance of work. I wouldn't stay somewhere that made me unhappy nor would I want my child to be in any danger.

Itsear · 15/08/2018 18:39

Just read that crime in KL is average for the ‘type’ of area but high compared to the Norfolk average. If you face drug addicts and violence on a day to day basis it sounds pretty scary for any DC, they must be petrified!

PaperTrain · 15/08/2018 18:53

I'm now feeling a bit better about the 'bad' Norfolk town that I live in as it might not be the worst!

ForalltheSaints · 15/08/2018 18:57

Many former fishing ports and coastal towns have suffered over the last 20 years- think also Grimsby, Hull, Lowestoft as examples. Especially if as with Kings Lynn they are too far to be commuter distance for a larger town or city (London, Leeds, Bristol for example) and are without a university.

Great Northern train service is not a help either- saw a four coach train going there when leaving Cambridge after the folk festival and it was packed. This after one was cancelled earlier in the day, for an hourly service.

Notonthestairs · 15/08/2018 20:18

Is Norwich not commutable? Norwich is lovely and chockablock full of non Norfolk folks (I am from Norfolk BTW Grin) and has loads going on around the university.

Every county has its share of ugly unfriendly areas.

ScandiGirl10 · 15/08/2018 20:32

Just a suggestion... Ely? Beautiful historic city lots going on, brand new cinema and leisure centre etc, 30 min drive or 10 min train to Cambridge but still quite close to Kings Lynn if you want to keep jobs/ be close to family.

politicalcorrectnessisgreat · 15/08/2018 21:10

You must move OP! You will only start to resent your DP for this, he must see it. It's a grim place.
Moving to Brighton was the best move I ever made. People are friendly and tolerant. Loads going on, beach after school ....but mostly the people. After growing up in a small minded village it is so refreshing.