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Original poster

Making coffee in work- non drinker

439 replies

Winchester89 · 14/08/2018 14:59

Right, started a new job couple of months ago. I love it, everyone's really nice. I'm the admin assistant for a small team of 4 other people.
Anyway- I don't drink tea or coffee. Therefore have never offered to make anyone any as I really hate doing it and don't think I should if I'm not also drinking it! Couple of the team made some subtle comments that I've just ignored or laughed off.
So today- my manager is on her way out to a meeting with other team member - mug in hand goes- oh we were just saying we should get you making coffees!
I replied automatically 'not happening' and laughed. And she looked taken aback by it and then carried on to the meeting.
Am I being unreasonable in not wanting to become the tea lady for the team considering I don't even make the stuff for myself!?

OP posts:
healthymum2018 · 16/08/2018 12:52

I must be on another planet! I totally agree with lolaflores. I was really shocked to read your comments about this and those you made to your manager. It is common courtesy to make drinks for you colleagues (whether you are having one or not). Firstly, you have only been in the role a couple of months, so still within your probationary period, secondly, you are a member of a small team of 4, which suggest you are close knit and should all support and help out. Thirdly, and no disrespect meant but you are not a manager or a director, ( who could be super busy) you are only the Admin assistant. The fact that it is being spoken about indicates that your lack of tea and coffee making has already been noted and whilst I agree you are not there to make hot drinks for people at their beck and call,you should offer to make one drink per day for the team, the chances are because you drink neither tea or coffee yourself, you will probably make a pretty bad job of it
( unintentionally) and so the others may shy off in a short space of time from either accepting your offer of a hot drink or suggesting that you make them, but at least you will have made the offer. When you make your first round of drinks you can then explain publicly that you do not drink tea or coffee, never make it and say you are apologising in advance if it taste awful!

KarmaStar · 16/08/2018 13:25

I don't drink not drinks either,but I've definitely always offered,and made,got drinks for family,friends and colleagues,I don't get why you wouldn't and your attitude was a bit off.

ShumpaLumpa · 16/08/2018 13:55

Pringlecat hasn't nailed it, they've either misunderstood what OP said or ignored it.

It's one thing politely opting out of a drinks round - "Oh, I find this one giant bottle I bring to work every day does the trick for me, so I'll sit out the rounds if that's ok?" to declaring "Not happening!"

OP has already politely opted out of the tea rounds, her colleagues already know she doesn't drink tea if coffee.

The 'not happening' quip was in response to her manager who said to her 'oh we were just saying we should get you to make coffees'.

They were trying to make OP the tea person. OP said no in a way that was clearly meant humorously. Her response was taken in the manner it was intended. We know this because when OP apologised to her manager if her manner seemed abrupt, her manager responded: 'don't be daft, I knew you were joking.'

So OP has managed to humourously get herself out of being tea lady and I bet her humorously assertive response has impressed her manager. And her colleagues, because one of them told their manager that 'we can't expect Winchester to make tea/coffee, she doesn't drink it.'

So let this be a lesson people - assert yourselves.

dorisdog · 16/08/2018 14:56

Ha! This is such an issue for me at work. I absolutely hate making rounds of tea/coffee. And in my office, it's such a wide range of drinks to remember - roibosh tea, decaf, soya milk, cows milk, herbals!!! Everyone 'sort of' takes it in turns, and it's a 'sort of' rule that if you're going to make yourself a drink you offer to get them for everyone else. But I just can't. Making my tea/coffee is my 'daydreamy- thinking' break and don't want to have to remember another five complicated tea and coffee variations!

I was just really clear - and cheerful - about it to everyone. I would rarely offer to get anyone a drink and will never expect anyone to make me one. It felt mildly awkward at first, but I've just made a joke out of it, and said that I will definitely get everyone's order wrong. They're all fine about it now. I don't think people should have to go along with these 'unwritten' rules if they don't want to.

pollymere · 16/08/2018 17:12

As an Admin Assistant to a team, making hot drinks for meetings is part of your job. I've worked in teams with male Admin Assistants who've had to make the drinks, so this isn't a gender issue. I get that it's annoying if you don't have one yourself, but to me, it's just part of you job role.

GinUnicorn · 16/08/2018 19:24

I’m pretty senior in my company and would never expect a junior to make the tea. As far as I am concerned as well admin asssitants help with admin they aren’t general dogsbodies.
I share my office with the M.D. and we offer each other drinks but there is no expectation. Honestly I tend to judge people on their work as opposed to tea making skills.

Original poster
Winchester89 · 16/08/2018 19:42

@pollymere As an Admin Assistant to a team, making hot drinks for meetings is part of your job. I've worked in teams with male Admin Assistants who've had to make the drinks, so this isn't a gender issue. I get that it's annoying if you don't have one yourself, but to me, it's just part of you job role.

I arrange refreshments for meetings. I've already said this. That is not what the post is about. Also- even if I arrange refreshments this consists of an urn, cups, biscuits etc. I don't stand there and pour it for them. I have work to do.

OP posts:
stressedoutpa · 16/08/2018 20:04

@Winchester89, what's your workload like?

Original poster
Winchester89 · 16/08/2018 20:10

@stressedoutpa
I am literally none stop. I sit with this small team but I am the admin function for a wider department (the other 3 teams are in different locations) and travel across the region.

OP posts:
PaddingtonBearHardStare · 16/08/2018 20:12

This reminds me of my first job. Initially there were only 5 or 6 in the office but then two Companies merged and we ended up with 15 of us in an office way too small but that's another story!! There was a list up in the kitchen of how everyone had their drinks and even some people me drinking coffee in the morning and tea in the afternoon. Making drinks became a two person job and an opportunity for a skive!! We also used to try and time it so we didn't have to make the manager one he was a massive twat with BO

LeftRightCentre · 16/08/2018 20:15

I always figured if someone wants to have a job serving hot drinks they'll become a barista, a flight attendant, a waiter or something like that.

stressedoutpa · 16/08/2018 20:22

@Winchester89

I thought so! This is the thing, most people think that admin is a really easy job. As dogsbody of the office, you are expected to do everything. Make the tea, answer the phone, fix the printer, print this, bind that, organise a courier, sort out the blocked toilet, buy the boss his lunch, order the stationery, and all other manner of shit. Generally, admin jobs get bigger and bigger and bigger as you pick up everything that falls through the cracks. Most people won't understand this as they have never done an admin job.

Stay out of the group tea making malarkey and spend time working on projects that will further your career. I very much doubt the CEO spent his early career pratting about making tea.

butterflysugarbaby · 16/08/2018 20:46

@pringlecat

If anyone joined my team and started giving attitude about something as trivial as taking it in turns to get a drink for a colleague, I would start to question whether they were a good fit. It's one thing politely opting out of a drinks round - "Oh, I find this one giant bottle I bring to work every day does the trick for me, so I'll sit out the rounds if that's ok?" to declaring "Not happening!"

Completely agree. Not a great attitude from the OP at all.

Although I do agree that if she never has hot drinks, she probably shouldn't have to be making as many as her colleagues, but she should be offering to make a few!.

Or as you say, maybe just say 'I hope it's OK, but I just bring my own cool drinks, so would prefer to opt out of regularly making hot drinks for everyone. But I don't mind making the round once or twice a day.'

Saying 'not happening!' makes her sound a bit obnoxious. (And I am not sure her manager is as OK with it as the OP has made out in her 'update.')

@Karmastar

I don't drink not drinks either, but I've definitely always offered, and made, got drinks for family, friends and colleagues. I don't get why you wouldn't and your attitude was a bit off.

@healthymum2018

I must be on another planet! I totally agree with lolaflores. I was really shocked to read your comments about this and those you made to your manager. It is common courtesy to make drinks for you colleagues (whether you are having one or not). Firstly, you have only been in the role a couple of months, so still within your probationary period, secondly, you are a member of a small team of 4, which suggest you are close knit and should all support and help out. Thirdly, and no disrespect meant but you are not a manager or a director, ( who could be super busy) you are only the Admin assistant.

Pretty much agree with these 2 posts. ^

Original poster
Winchester89 · 16/08/2018 21:28

@butterflysugarbaby
Thanks for your reply Smile
As stated in my original post, I had already done the polite 'I don't drink it so won't get involved, thanks' discussion.
I wasn't asked to make a cuppa and then responded with 'not happening' - again, it's in the original post.
And re my manager, you can be as unsure as you like- but we went out for a drink this evening after work and everything is fine and dandy 👍🏼

OP posts:
butterflysugarbaby · 16/08/2018 21:30

Fair enough winchester. Smile

Mrsramsayscat · 16/08/2018 21:49

At the end of the day, there is no universal "admin assistant " or any other role.

The organisation's management and HR determine roles and skills, and often the culture and values within teams. In some teams, refusing to take a turn would go down very badly, not in others. Also, some admin role job descriptions would include tea making, although clearly not here.

Meandyoumake2 · 16/08/2018 21:57

To be fair our admin support never makes tea - however everyone else in the office (all different grades) including those who drink it and those who don't take it in turns. All tea drinks make it around twice a week and I reckon the non tea drinks about once a month. So many times I make it for them but not me as I don't fancy a cup. Sometimes it's just an excuse to stretch the legs and get out of the office for a bit clear the head! I wouldn't think any different of anyone if they didn't make it though

buckeejit · 16/08/2018 22:10

Just start drinking tea, it's lovely! Mmmmmmm, tea....

Dafspunk · 16/08/2018 22:14

17 pages about the social intricacies of tea/coffee making... I wonder if any non-Brits are reading this wondering what we’re all so het up about it.

Sparkles1992 · 16/08/2018 22:19

I work in a team of 5 admin and we all make it for each other, except for one lady who doesn't drink it and she is not expected to make it. Why would she? Hmm I would never expect her to stop working to make me tea... YANBU

AlexanderHamilton · 16/08/2018 22:21

If expect an admin assistant to make drinks for their team.

The last office apprentice we had was always first to volunteer but oh goodness he made a vile cup of tea, I had to keep making excuses.

I don’t drink many cups per day but one of our senior engineers often makes them for me even though it should be the other way around really.

ryvitarita · 16/08/2018 22:23

I didn’t used to drink hot drinks at all when I started as an office junior. Obviously as office junior/slave I was expected to cart at least 20 drinks an hour to various staff.
One day the male pervy Firm Partner said to me, Ryvita I don’t understand why you don’t like hot drinks.
I said ah well it’s just I hate the feeling of warm liquid in my mouth. As soon as it rolled out I wanted the ground to swallow me up.

Even when I eventually became a manager I still made drinks for my staff. It’s just a nice thing to do and in all honesty it’s good to take 5 mins here and there wherever you are in the hierarchy. Just bring a glass to work and refill it and hand it to them when they disappear or next round.

MyWeaponofChoiceisWords · 16/08/2018 22:28

Everywhere I've worked at, tea/coffee rounds were an excuse for a skive (always done in addition to the actual tea break). The amount of faffing that some people can extract from taking orders, getting the mugs, finding tray, boiling kettle, making drink(s), distribution (plus a bit of chat along the way) is ridiculous.
Current work place is mostly a DIY affair apart from one team who do tea runs. Needless to say they are also the team who spend endless amounts of work time on the following but never finish their tasks and complain their short staffed

  1. lottery
  2. charity fund raising
  3. birthday card/gift organising
  4. having important discussions about topics such as wine rucksacks*
  5. taking calls from their teenage/adult children organising lifts for them
  6. facilitating other teams skiving in their area by discussing important work matters BGT when they're supposed to be working

*absolutely true

MyWeaponofChoiceisWords · 16/08/2018 22:29

*they're

Original poster
Winchester89 · 16/08/2018 22:56

*@AlexanderHamilton *
*If expect an admin assistant to make drinks for their team.

The last office apprentice we had was always first to volunteer but oh goodness he made a vile cup of tea, I had to keep making excuses.

I don’t drink many cups per day but one of our senior engineers often makes them for me even though it should be the other way around really.*

An office apprentice and an admin assistant are not the same thing. I'm not an office intern, or an apprentice, I was hired to do administration work in a specific field and I am paid well for it.

OP posts: