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AIBU?

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Original poster

Making coffee in work- non drinker

439 replies

Winchester89 · 14/08/2018 14:59

Right, started a new job couple of months ago. I love it, everyone's really nice. I'm the admin assistant for a small team of 4 other people.
Anyway- I don't drink tea or coffee. Therefore have never offered to make anyone any as I really hate doing it and don't think I should if I'm not also drinking it! Couple of the team made some subtle comments that I've just ignored or laughed off.
So today- my manager is on her way out to a meeting with other team member - mug in hand goes- oh we were just saying we should get you making coffees!
I replied automatically 'not happening' and laughed. And she looked taken aback by it and then carried on to the meeting.
Am I being unreasonable in not wanting to become the tea lady for the team considering I don't even make the stuff for myself!?

OP posts:
Myimaginarycathasfleas · 15/08/2018 13:36

I’m a bit gobsmacked at all the people who think that in 2018 it’s the job of the most junior employee to make the drinks.

We know now that it’s bad to sit at your desk for hours on end and everyone should be encouraged to get up and move around periodically. That applies no matter now important you think you are.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 15/08/2018 13:46

I would just take a turn and make them. It's not like it's on your own time. It's just a nice thing to do.

I'm sure it will engender goodwill and one day they'll do something nice for you.

PrtScn · 15/08/2018 14:02

Just say you don't drink tea or coffee, next time they hint, but that on this occasion you'll give it a bash. Then make the coffee too strong and the tea look like warm milk. They'll not ask you again!

Oblomov18 · 15/08/2018 14:18

Op doesn't really come across as a peoples person, with any warmth.
Depends if you like people. If you would DARE to speak to your boss like that?

If even if you didn't drink tea, coffee or water ( lets be honest everyone should be drinking water in work, to keep yourself hydrated) then you might occasionally make around of drinks.

I work in accounts. never worked anywhere where I didn't participate in the tea round. I regularly make them for the team, and have done for the last 20 years.

And when anyone visits, say the Accountant today, to sign off the accounts, I made him one too!!

TornFromTheInside · 15/08/2018 14:25

When you say 'not happening' so much depends on the tone of voice and body language too.
Lots of people I know (including myself) use this expression and it's usually quite light-hearted. It doesn't come across as 'I refuse to do it' in a stompy foot manner.

It's much more tongue in cheek like 'You can't catch me doing it!' - like is someone asked you to do a parachute jump, you might say 'it ain't happening' - you mean it, but it's a jovial manner.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 15/08/2018 14:34

I once worked in a small team and we took it in turns to do the drinks run. There was one guy who only drank water but every time someone did a round he would have a water. We pulled him up and he said "I don't drink tea or coffee", but we said that it was unfair that we were getting him drinks all day regardless of what he was drinking and suggested he got his own. I don't think it's unreasonable to get the odd "round" in out of manners and courtesy. It gives you a break from your desk as well.

Lindalee3 · 15/08/2018 14:59

Hmmm, I am on the fence here. I don't think that someone who never has hot drinks should be made or expected to 'share' in the 'drinks round' malarkey. But then again, as a number of posters have stated, the OP's attitude is not great, and she comes across as rather rude, and for someone who is so new in the place, I don't think her attitude (and what she said to her boss) is going to do her any favours.

Maybe an offer to make everyone the first drink of the day - but then no more after that - would be a good idea? Sort of show willing, but not be taken for a ride, making drinks half the day, when you don't have them yourself?

TBH, I have always had hot drinks at work, but only maybe 3 a day (2 in the morning and one in the afternoon,) and some of my colleagues had 2 or 3 times more hot drinks than me, and did expect me to make their (excessive amount of) hot drinks sometimes!

In my office (at the place I worked at for 17 years,) there were 12 people there. Some days there would be 3 or 4 less, (when a few people were at meetings or out for the day/at another office, or off sick or on leave etc,) and it was a massive PITA to have to make 7 to 12 fucking hot drinks. (4 or 5 times a day or more!)

So in some ways, the OP is not being unreasonable. However, I would not have spoken to the manager like that. As I said, she has done herself no favours...

Nousernamefound · 15/08/2018 17:52

I had a similar situation in a recent job and one person who always accepted everyone else’s tea and coffee but never made it themselves always suggested there should be a rota. I just occasionally made it to get a few minutes out of the office. I’d just offer to make it every now and then for a break if you can be bothered. But I don’t think you should feel obligated if you don’t drink it yourself.

chocatoo · 15/08/2018 18:00

I would find a drink (water, squash, whatever) that you will drink and when someone else makes, say 'mine's a squash, please' then you take your turn along with everyone else.
I think the tea/coffee(/squash) 'run' is an important little bonding ritual between colleagues - when you know someone is having a bad day it's nice to be able to say 'right, I'm going to do a drinks round', ditto it's nice when someone plonks one on your desk. I often made the first cup of the day - everyone was so appreciative. To not take part in this tiny ritual might make you appear a bit standoffish.

Guienne · 15/08/2018 18:00

If you were a male admin assistant I'm sure they wouldn't expect you to make tea and coffee!

I suspect they would. I've certainly worked in offices where junior male members of the relevant team are expected to do these and similar jobs.

Jaxhog · 15/08/2018 18:09

I think YANBU. As soon as you do, they'll expect you to 'take a turn' forever. I just don't understand why they would expect you to do this. Do they get you a glass of water? I bet they don't!

I would explain to your boss that you don't drink tea/coffee, as they may not know this.

There is a difference between sharing tea/coffee making between colleagues, and doing it for meetings. The latter may be part of your job, but the former is always optional.

Guienne · 15/08/2018 18:09

It's 2018 and people are still expecting others to make them a fucking hot drink. YANBU. Wish this stupid archaic notion would die, such Downton Abbey Upstairs Downtairs bollocks!

Archaic? I must discuss that with DH and my family. It's sort of the norm for us to offer tea/coffee to each other if we're making it. And I have to admit that when I go into a coffee shop or restaurant, I definitely expect the person behind the counter to make me hot drinks if asked.

Billben · 15/08/2018 18:16

And I have to admit that when I go into a coffee shop or restaurant, I definitely expect the person behind the counter to make me hot drinks if asked.

You probably tried to sound clever here, but surely you can see that this argument really doesn’t work in this context. You would be paying for your drinks for starters.

Guienne · 15/08/2018 18:23

No, the post I was replying to said it was archaic for people to make hot drinks for each other in any circumstances, without qualification. So the argument works fine.

IllHaveALargeGlassOfRed · 15/08/2018 18:24

It's not a "tiny ritual" though. It's quite laborious making 6 different teas and coffees for people. I can't make more than 2 at a time because I forget what everyone wants.

Person 1 - weak tea with 2 sugars and semi skimmed milk
P2 - strong coffee, no sugar, wee drop fat milk
P3 - black coffee but not too strong
P4 - strong tea, one sweetener, loads of milk
P5.....

Oh god no. Just no. Get it your bloody self.

VoteHillary · 15/08/2018 18:24

If I was the lowest grade member in a team I'd expect to have to have to make tea if people came in for specific meetings, from external companies.

This.

jade9390 · 15/08/2018 18:25

You are not the 'tea lady' if everyone takes it in turns. This is a role I always volunteered for, it gave me a break from my boring work and was happy to make tea for people in my team who worked under me.

Adnerb95 · 15/08/2018 18:30

In a small team - and possibly a small business, although you don't make it clear - it's all hands to the pump and as the boss in a business with less than 10 employees/contractors, I quite often make drinks for people in the office - and I would certainly be taken aback by an admin assistant who objected to doing it!

I would be shocked by someone showing such a lack of flexibility and would question whether they might object to undertaking other tasks which may not directly benefit them.

RB68 · 15/08/2018 18:30

You see to me this is a form of low level bullying - she doesn't drink it, never makes it anywhere else, colleagues never offer her a drink when they are off to make it why the bloody hell should she be involved. Just ignore them and if the boss pulls you on it, mention it would be nice to be offered what you drink and as you never were then its a moot point. I only did it in one job as it was in the JD and it was the shittest job I have ever done and making tea was the exciting bit.

RB68 · 15/08/2018 18:31

PLUS you can bet as soon as she starts making it for the buggers they will want her to contribute to the tea fund adding insult to injury

Satchell · 15/08/2018 18:34

Not an admin assistant job to make everyone's tea. Not at all.

Sequencedress · 15/08/2018 18:43

Nah, NBU, maybe a bit sharp with the manager, but she seems ok with it. I work in a small, fairly relaxed, male heavy office. I regularly waggle my empty cup at my (male) boss and give him a grin - he obliges and fills it with coffee! I do the same in return for him. We all take turns making the coffee and most of the time don’t even ask, just plonk it on each other’s desks. We have a non tea/coffee drinker though and she just does her own thing. I’ll offer to grab her a water/juice here and there, but not as regularly as I, and the others, make coffees. Funnily enough, it’s a man who makes the most brews at my work - we affectionately refer to him as the tea boy (he started it, and it’s all in fun) and he seems to love making brews! Not so much with the washing up though Wink

JeezYouLoon · 15/08/2018 18:45

YADNBU

I get loads of grief for not making teas and coffees, I don't drink it at work and stick to water.

I ignore them and get on with my work. However I have worked there a long time and so feel no pressure to join in. It's a hot potato making drinks in an office.

9amTrain · 15/08/2018 18:51

If you were a male admin assistant I'm sure they wouldn't expect you to make tea and coffee!

Well I have been and they did.

Original poster
Winchester89 · 15/08/2018 18:56

Just an update- had one to one with manager today- went great 👍🏼
We were doing a risk assessment and one part of it was re hot water and she just laughed and put a cross through it.
I don't think it's going to effect my job as she seems reasonable enough. Also- turns out another colleague said 'you can't expect her to make it if she doesn't drink it'

OP posts:
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