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AIBU?

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Original poster

Making coffee in work- non drinker

439 replies

Winchester89 · 14/08/2018 14:59

Right, started a new job couple of months ago. I love it, everyone's really nice. I'm the admin assistant for a small team of 4 other people.
Anyway- I don't drink tea or coffee. Therefore have never offered to make anyone any as I really hate doing it and don't think I should if I'm not also drinking it! Couple of the team made some subtle comments that I've just ignored or laughed off.
So today- my manager is on her way out to a meeting with other team member - mug in hand goes- oh we were just saying we should get you making coffees!
I replied automatically 'not happening' and laughed. And she looked taken aback by it and then carried on to the meeting.
Am I being unreasonable in not wanting to become the tea lady for the team considering I don't even make the stuff for myself!?

OP posts:
katielouise3 · 15/08/2018 01:10

@longwayoff

Keith you are correct as always. Far too much time spent on this already but for what its worth, 8 weeks into a new job is probably not the best time to start declaring independence and putting your manager's back up whilst irritating rest of team.

Well said.I totally agree. Smile

I can't imagine being as rude as the OP to ANYone in my workplace. She must not care about being liked, or fitting in with her colleagues.

@liverbird10

I'm the boss in our place, and I make tea for every bugger despite not drinking it myself... because I'm not a twat.

Good for you. Smile And this is what a decent person, (and a decent colleague and team player) SHOULD do!

@9amtrain

I wouldn't say you're a twat if you didn't want to make tea and coffee for everyone when you didn't drink it yourself and nobody would ever need to make it for you either.

katielouise3 · 15/08/2018 01:11

This reply has been deleted

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9amTrain · 15/08/2018 01:25

We must have read a different thread because they don't sound arrogant in the slightest. Not wanting to make your colleagues drinks because 1. it will never be reciprocated and 2. you're shit at making them, is entirely someone's choice and as long as you're not expecting drinks to be made for you either, which OP isn't, then that's entirely your choice and you shouldn't be judged for it.

I have never expected the non-coffee drinkers in the office to make a drink for me! I'd feel like a twat. If they offered off their own back, yes nice go ahead, but I would never expect it.

rosiejaune · 15/08/2018 01:37

YANBU.

I don't drink hot drinks, and I wouldn't be making them for my colleagues. Nice to see some other adults who never picked up the habit; I thought I was the only one. I don't know anyone else in real life who doesn't drink them.

Even if they were bringing you some water, that's much easier than making hot drinks, and thus not equal to reverse the favour.

Plus I'm vegan and won't handle dairy, so even if I did drink hot drinks I wouldn't be taking part in rounds. Though then I wouldn't have applied for your job in the first place, if it involves making drinks for meetings.

longwayoff · 15/08/2018 06:33

Albagal, the line is definitely the other side of bringing your small smelly dog to work with you then demanding the temp admin asst take it out in her lunch hour whilst handing over the plastic doggy doo bag with a reminder to not leave without picking it up. The temptation to return the wrapped remains with the bloody dog was strong but this was one task I declined.

serbska · 15/08/2018 07:09

‘Shit at making hot drinks’ - I assume the OP is capable of learning new skills?

Pengggwn · 15/08/2018 07:30

You should ask whether making coffee for the team is part of your role. If it is, do it. Admin assistant to me sounds pretty junior, so if the idea is that you do the tasks that save other members of the team time (drawing a line, of course, at making their lunch and other things they aren't getting paid for) then I don't see the issue, providing you are clear about how much time making drinks for the team is taking.

ShirleyPhallus · 15/08/2018 07:32

katielouise3

What do you do for a job?

cameltoeflappyflapflap · 15/08/2018 07:33

I don't drink hot drinks. I would happily make them for people but I don't because they taste like crap (going by previous attempts)

CrazyDaisy2018 · 15/08/2018 08:04

We just had a new (junior) starter working in a team who do rounds. On introduction I asked her if she drank tea or coffee and when she said no I said "well that's saved part of your day then - you won't have to make rounds"!

I wouldn't expect her to be dragged in to the rounds when she's only on water, and in any event as the cooler is on the opposite direction of the kitchen.

I exited the rounds when I changed office. It gets ridiculous the amount of rounds there are and half the time it goes undrunk. We'd probably save a fortune in tea coffee and milk if we banned rounds completely!

I wouldn't find the op's response rude either. Some people need to lighten up.

EvaHarknessRose · 15/08/2018 08:10

Have not rtft. I don’t participate in tea rounds

  • prefer the break of making my own and only once a day
  • get irrationally stressed by simple social stuff (fine with complex!)
  • prefer my own mug but it often needs rinsing, don’t expect others to do this. Also decaf, weak herbal tea (not a simple order)
  • hate that i get asked ten times a day and it breaks my concentration
  • when i have said yes, then i get one with milk in and have to furtively replace it or risk seeming rude (happens every time)
It does seem to annoy people. I try to offer occasionally but i think that probably makes it worse.
TigerDragonMonkey · 15/08/2018 08:38

Some odd responses on this thread. I’ve been an admin assistant and the role of to assist with office administration. Unless the OP works for Tetley the ‘brew run’ is merely a social niceity between colleague and not an essential admin task that would be in her job description. It is not the same as being a PA or an intern. Whether or not the OP came across as rude would depend entirely on the office dynamic: I’ve been in offices where that comment would be accepted as playful banter and be fine, others where it would be seen as a bit off. Either way though it is part of the social contract of working in a team, nothing to do with her actual job there.
I have also been in offices where we had a ‘cake Friday’ and took it in turns to bring in cakes. Should someone who never eats cake similarly ‘take a turn’ if their manager made a comment about getting them baking for fear of committing career suicide?

IceCreamFace · 15/08/2018 08:40

Perhaps the person in your role before you was the designated tea lady? I'm inclined to agree that you should get drinks for meetings but you shouldn't have to be a drinks lady all day long that isn't your job.

9amTrain · 15/08/2018 08:42

@serbska oh yes, because the OP should perfect their hot drink making skills to appease us hot drink dribkers!

Original poster
Winchester89 · 15/08/2018 09:05

@northernlites Wouldn't hurt to show some kindness every now and then though.
Making the occasional round of drinks, hot or cold does not mean you are then a slave to it, but a kind gesture to others, and this should be everyone, cleaner, admin, manager, whoever

So the only way of showing any kindness at all is to make hot drinks?

OP posts:
longwayoff · 15/08/2018 09:18

Winchester, are you always so combative when people disagree with you? You may wish to consider self employment. Shouldn't you be at work now?

Original poster
Winchester89 · 15/08/2018 09:22

@longwayoff
I asked a question- nothing combative about it.
And no I'm not at work Smile

OP posts:
longwayoff · 15/08/2018 09:25

On a tea break?

ShumpaLumpa · 15/08/2018 09:29

longwayoff

I think OP has been remarkably restrained given she has been called rude, obnoxious, arsey, arrogant, selfish, a 'madam' and whatnot.

It's interesting that you're picking up on OP but not the people who made the comments above. Are you just annoyed that OP didn't roll over for another kicking?

And shouldn't YOU be at work?

KidLorneRoll · 15/08/2018 09:33

Tea rounds are a massive pain in the arse. Having to ask the office if anyone else wants a drink when all you want to do is make a coffee and get back to work, without it taking 20 minutes to fanny about taking orders, chatting to the helpful person who comes up for a chat and carry the teas back down in 3 steps.

Why would anyone do that if they didn't even want a drink themselves? Utter fucking madness.

Original poster
Winchester89 · 15/08/2018 09:36

@ShumpaLumpa
Thank you

OP posts:
SlartiAardvark · 15/08/2018 10:40

It's the arsey, arrogant attitude of the OP that is the problem, as well as the fact she doesn't want to make her colleagues drinks. She comes across as very obnoxious in her OP.

See, I don't think she did.

But it's very easy to spot the type of people that'd make a fuss about someone not "being in the round" - there's a certain aggression about them - maybe too much caffeine?? Wink

9amTrain · 15/08/2018 11:04

"Shouldn't you be at work now?"

And that has what to do with you may I ask?

liverbird10 · 15/08/2018 11:45

@Winchester9 - apologies for the 'twat' remark, it was unnecessary! Blush

northernlites · 15/08/2018 12:16

@Winchester89 I was only answering your question...
Am I being unreasonable in not wanting to become the tea lady for the team considering I don't even make the stuff for myself!?
YANBU, however it's kind to make the occasional drink (whether you drink them yourself or not), without becoming the drink slave.
And of course there are mAny ways to show kindness, I was citing this as an example as it's clearly something you're colleagues would appreciate, and perhaps all the more if it was occasional rather than a regular thing.
Certainly no offence was meant to be caused

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