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Original poster

Making coffee in work- non drinker

439 replies

Winchester89 · 14/08/2018 14:59

Right, started a new job couple of months ago. I love it, everyone's really nice. I'm the admin assistant for a small team of 4 other people.
Anyway- I don't drink tea or coffee. Therefore have never offered to make anyone any as I really hate doing it and don't think I should if I'm not also drinking it! Couple of the team made some subtle comments that I've just ignored or laughed off.
So today- my manager is on her way out to a meeting with other team member - mug in hand goes- oh we were just saying we should get you making coffees!
I replied automatically 'not happening' and laughed. And she looked taken aback by it and then carried on to the meeting.
Am I being unreasonable in not wanting to become the tea lady for the team considering I don't even make the stuff for myself!?

OP posts:
Squirrelblanket · 14/08/2018 15:21

I drink tea and coffee but I don't get involved in tea rounds. I don't expect other people to make me drinks and I don't want to make drinks for other people. Some people are really funny about this which I think it's pretty pathetic.

As an admin assistant I did make drinks for senior people going into meetings though. I think if you mention it to your manager and say you were worried you may have sounded a bit rude on that occasion you'll be fine though. I certainly wouldn't expect someone who didn't drink tea or coffee to get involved in tea rounds on a regular basis!

Nikephorus · 14/08/2018 15:21

Next time say 'I never offer to make tea and coffee because I've had so many complaints in the past (insert semi-tinkly laugh) - that's what comes of never drinking the stuff myself. People swear I'm trying to poison them (another tinkly laugh)'. That way they'll not want to run the risk. I'm a big tea drinker but I never expected a non-drinker to make me drinks. Why would you?

Original poster
Winchester89 · 14/08/2018 15:23

@OftenHangry Are you 100% positive they are aware you don't drink tea or coffee??
This might have been actually a bit of a push from their side to join into the "we are makin cuppas for each other" things thinking you make one just for yourself.

Yes they are 100% aware I don't drink it. We are the only team on our floor and we have all discussed how weird they think it is that I don't drink it.

OP posts:
MrsSnootyPants2018 · 14/08/2018 15:23

I personally never do it at work, but I also don't ask anyone to do it for me I always make my own.

I think it's ridiculous of them to ask you when you don't event drink it

ShumpaLumpa · 14/08/2018 15:25

lolaflores

Basic standard of courtesy to those around you to put yourself out a touch once in a while.

I don't know what 'out of a touch means' but I'm pretty sure if OP started making drinks for them they would soon expect it regularly.

Your response to your manager smacks of you being a bit of a madam who seems herself above an act of unselfishness. It's not lime they are forcing you to drink coffee or tea

I think the manager's comment was rude. 'oh we were just saying we should get you making coffees.' I think OP's response was perfect. So much is made of women being expected to be polite and helpful all the time, and the one time an OP gives a great response, she gets called a 'madam'.

However, I don't see any issue with OP going to her manager to say 'I'm sorry if I was abrupt earlier, I was just taken by surprise as I don't drink tea or coffee so I won't be taking part in any drinks rounds. Happy to help with drinks for big meetings.'

ShirleyPhallus · 14/08/2018 15:26

Your response to your manager smacks of you being a bit of a madam who seems herself above an act of unselfishness.

What bollocks. “Unselfishness” doesn’t mean “be an absolute slave and donkey to make tea and coffee when no-one else can be arsed to do it”.

My number one workplace annoyance is people who think they’re senior expecting junior people to do shit jobs that aren’t part of their role just cos they can’t be bothered.

viques · 14/08/2018 15:27

I don't think it would be too much to sometimes say to your nearest colleagues

"I'm just going to the kitchen to get a cold drink/fill up my water bottle.would you like me to get you something?"

Friendly, but not making yourself the tea maker.

AtrociousCircumstance · 14/08/2018 15:29

No, you don’t have to make it. I work in an office where people mostly drink tea and coffee but no one makes it for anyone else and everyone is happy with this.

Otherwise it can get really controlling.

You don’t even drink it! Don’t worry about it. You’re not paid to make teas and coffees.

BlueBug45 · 14/08/2018 15:33

OP I would have a quiet word with your boss or an older colleague you get on with, and make it very clear you do not know how to make it so if they want you to make it for anyone they need to show you. They will look unbelieving but as a non-normal tea drinker I had to be shown a few times as a teenager how to make the evil stuff.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 14/08/2018 15:33

I was going to suggest that you offer once in a while when you're getting yourself water, but if they never offer to get water for you either then I don't know what their issue is.

I used to offer because I did drink coffee anyway and it was an opportunity to clear my head and often to have a bit of a gossip in the kitchen.

I would be wary of making it deliberately badly. I did that once and I turned into the only one who could make tea the 'right way' for that person.

Original poster
Winchester89 · 14/08/2018 15:33

Appreciate all the responses! I have sent my manager a message to apologise i came across abrupt.
I think the fact she said 'we were discussing it' really annoyed me. I feel like they must have been making their own coffee and thought, oohhh we'll get Winchester to do this cos we shouldn't be!
It isn't part of my job description- I am actually shit at it anyway. Just don't think I should feel pressured into making it so as not to 'rock the boat'. I'm sure if it was a man expecting this some of the 'madam' responses would be different.

OP posts:
iloveruby · 14/08/2018 15:36

“ I'm sure if it was a man expecting this some of the 'madam' responses would be different“

Completely agree with you OP

SlartiAardvark · 14/08/2018 15:37

If you’re all in a team and offer to get drinks for each other, then yes - you should take your turn.

But she isn't "in their round" - I never used to participate in the group brew farce at work, would always just sort myself out.

By the time they'd sorted out whose turn it was & got everyones "order" I was back & drinking mine smugly....

NothingOnTellyAgain · 14/08/2018 15:38

I don't think people should have to take turns in tea runs if they don't drihk it themselves.

Old work we had some tea/coffee people and some soft drinks people and we had our own groups for turns for the different things.

I suppose though a lot of people who don't drink tea/coffee do drink water which is asked for and that is then obviously correct to be a part of that group and take the turns.

TooTrueToBeGood · 14/08/2018 15:40

I think it depends on the culture. If you work in a place stuck in the 80s where junior team members are expected to fetch and carry for those more senior then I guess you should, though I'd probably look for another job. Where I work even the SVPs who have PAs make their own tea/coffee.

JacquesHammer · 14/08/2018 15:40

But OP doesn't drink tea or coffee so there is no turn to take

Really? When I was in an office we used to take turns whatever people drink. Water/squash included. Never a tricky situation!

longwayoff · 14/08/2018 15:41

Ooh couple of months in . . . U didnt, by any chance, hand your coat to manager to hang up for you as you galloped towards your important desk?

SlartiAardvark · 14/08/2018 15:43

U didnt

Give the laptop back to Mum eh.......

busybuildingdens · 14/08/2018 15:43

This was me and work. People kept moaning at me, so I made them hot drinks a few times, and apparently I was rubbish at it. Not deliberate, but it’s hard to make when you don’t drink it yourself, especially when everyone is so fussy!

ShumpaLumpa · 14/08/2018 15:44

make it very clear you do not know how to make it so if they want you to make it for anyone they need to show you. They will look unbelieving but as a non-normal tea drinker I had to be shown a few times as a teenager how to make the evil stuff.

Please don't do this. They make take you seriously and teach you how to make everyone's drinks.

Airbiscuits · 14/08/2018 15:45

I'm the manager in my team and I don't expect anyone to make me tea or coffee and nor do I participate in rounds. If other people like doing rounds, that's their look out. But I'll get my own, when I want it, how I want it.

Weirdly, it's those who are the worst at working in a team like way who are the most obsessed with whose round it is though. Like it's a point scoring exercise.

Actually that's probably not weird at all. It's probably indicative of not being focused on the important things and the bigger picture.

ShumpaLumpa · 14/08/2018 15:45

Really? When I was in an office we used to take turns whatever people drink. Water/squash included. Never a tricky situation!

OP making 4 teas and coffees is not a good exchange for a glass of water!

Original poster
Winchester89 · 14/08/2018 15:45

@longwayoff Ooh couple of months in . . . U didnt, by any chance, hand your coat to manager to hang up for you as you galloped towards your important desk?

Don't understand what this means?

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 14/08/2018 15:46

OP making 4 teas and coffees is not a good exchange for a glass of water

Meh I never felt it was necessary to do a direct exchange. I mean surely in that case tea is far more difficult than coffe Wink

TooTrueToBeGood · 14/08/2018 15:47

Don't understand what this means?

You need to run it through Google Translate using the CFer - English option. Or just ignore the CFer.