Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Making coffee in work- non drinker

439 replies

Winchester89 · 14/08/2018 14:59

Right, started a new job couple of months ago. I love it, everyone's really nice. I'm the admin assistant for a small team of 4 other people.
Anyway- I don't drink tea or coffee. Therefore have never offered to make anyone any as I really hate doing it and don't think I should if I'm not also drinking it! Couple of the team made some subtle comments that I've just ignored or laughed off.
So today- my manager is on her way out to a meeting with other team member - mug in hand goes- oh we were just saying we should get you making coffees!
I replied automatically 'not happening' and laughed. And she looked taken aback by it and then carried on to the meeting.
Am I being unreasonable in not wanting to become the tea lady for the team considering I don't even make the stuff for myself!?

OP posts:
harshbuttrue1980 · 14/08/2018 22:05

Although people disagree on the rights and wrongs, the facts seem to be that there are different workplaces with different expectations. If the OP or anyone else doesn't like an aspect of their role enough to fall on their sword about it, then so be it - plenty more entry level jobs are available I'm sure. Maybe younger admin assistants are more willing and less self-important than ones like the OP who are in their late 20's - I was 22 when I interned and did the tea round, and I wouldn't have been ecstatic to do it now in my 30's. If you refuse reasonable instructions (and whether people personally would ask them to do it, I'm sure asking the most junior person to make tea is not unreasonable in the eyes of the law), then you will end up being dismissed anyway so better to leave first.

And, ffs, it isn't sexist!! If an all-male garage or workshop had an apprentice, then the apprentice would be the one making the tea. It just so happens that the most junior person here is a woman.

mustbejokingright · 14/08/2018 22:07

I don't make tea or coffee for anyone in my office and no one has an issue with it. They know I don't drink it and don't offer me when they are making it either.

I've joked before that as I don't drink it I'm rubbish at making it and they wouldn't want to drink it. No one has an issue with it, seems bizarre to me

ShumpaLumpa · 14/08/2018 22:10

don't drink tea or coffee, can't even bear the smell of the stuff at times

Brambleboo, how selfish of you to hate coffee. Just because it makes you sick is no reason not to get coffees for your teammates every day! Just use a clothes peg on your nose and get brewing FFS!

ShumpaLumpa · 14/08/2018 22:15

I was 22 when I interned and did the tea round

OP is not an intern.

If an all-male garage or workshop had an apprentice, then the apprentice would be the one making the tea.

People's unconscious bias is really coming through on this thread.
People assuming OP's manager is male even though OP says in her op that manager is female.

And now you're using the example of an all-male environment where a man may be expected to make tea, rather than say, a young male in a female dominated office.

ScandiGirl10 · 14/08/2018 22:21

Honestly asking now and again isn’t going to do you any harm is it other than a few minutes out of your day? Fitting into a new team is so important when in a new job and if doing the odd tea run earns you a few brownie points..

Albagal · 14/08/2018 22:22

I’ve clearly missed my opportunity to have my team make me tea and coffee because I’m head of department! help me out here, where’s the line? Can I bring in my ironing or get them to shampoo my car upholstery or is that too far? 😂😂😂

ShumpaLumpa · 14/08/2018 22:35

Neither is too far, Albagal. Also, how about some rose petals strewn in your path? Or two giant palm leaves fanning you at your desk?

Deafdeafdeath · 14/08/2018 22:40

YANBU

“Oh I’m ok thanks, I don’t drink tea so I’ll leave you all to it”

Be polite but you’re admin, not a waitress.

MipMipMip · 14/08/2018 23:37

KatieLouise you can get pink wafer biscuits at home bargains. They have the pink panther on the packet. Grin

Off to eat pink biccies now.

MipMipMip · 14/08/2018 23:37

Not sure I've ever written pink so often in a single post.Confused

TornFromTheInside · 14/08/2018 23:50

years since I had one of those pink biscuits - they'd be posh ones for Sunday when visiting an aunt or something!

MipMipMip · 14/08/2018 23:59

They're soooooo good! You can't eat them elegantly - you have to take the layers apart. Grin

TornFromTheInside · 15/08/2018 00:07

I tried to eat them elegantly but it's hard to carry that look off then I'm putting them in sideways

puppymouse · 15/08/2018 00:13

I don't drink tea or coffee and never have. I don't make it for other people in our team because a) I never want or need them to make me a drink and b) I genuinely don't really know anything about making it. I have to ask so many questions, anyone who unwittingly gets a hot drink from me usually silently panics it'll be shit and never asks me again. 🤷🏻‍♀️

northernlites · 15/08/2018 00:31

Wouldn't hurt to show some kindness every now and then though.
Making the occasional round of drinks, hot or cold does not mean you are then a slave to it, but a kind gesture to others, and this should be everyone, cleaner, admin, manager, whoever

BuntyII · 15/08/2018 00:44

YANBU but I think you should offer to make a canister if you know there's a meeting happening.

BuntyII · 15/08/2018 00:47

@northernlites the thing is as an AA the OP does actually run the risk of becoming a slave to it, especially if the office manager thinks she should be making tea and coffee as well. It's important that she makes it clear from the start that yes she is there as support for administrative work but not as a personal assistant, and she has done that.

EBearhug · 15/08/2018 00:50

Our kitchen areas are by the side of the office entrances, before you get to the desks. This means most people sort themselves out on their way to a meeting or on the way back from the loo or a smoke or something.

There's no culture of rounds, partly because you might not be coming back to your desk immediately when you get a drink. Also, it means people get up from their desks and take a short walk, which is better than not moving from your desk at all. And it's a good place to meet people who don't sit near you and have a brief catch-up, including those who are senior whom you wouldn't actually book a meeting with to chat to. As far as I know, everyone does their own drinks, though senior execs get the option of posh pod coffee in the exec suite.

For important meetings, you can order coffee etc from catering, as long as you have access to a cost centre to charge it to. You still get to serve yourself. It's just it comes out of one of those jug things rather than a kettle.

We also have the option of a couple of coffee bars on site, and people do tend to do rounds for that.

And we have dishwashers which the cleaners fill and empty. I suspect this is because HR reckons it's more cost-effective than dealing with all the staff disputes about messy kitchens.

I don't drink tea or coffee, so this all suits me well.

9amTrain · 15/08/2018 00:50

I wouldn't be making anyone tea and coffee in an office if I wasn't drinking it myself! It's not your house. They're not your guests.

9amTrain · 15/08/2018 00:52

Although.

I do love tea and coffee so when I work in an office in constantly making for others!

😅

BlueJava · 15/08/2018 01:00

I never get the whole tea and coffee making thing either. It turns a quick dash into the kitchen for 1 cup into a task. I also only have 1 coffee a day - usually from Starbucks on the way - and then just have water. There is a regular drink's round at my office that is about a dozen mugs! I wouldn't get drawn in, but I think you were a bit rude. Just saying "well I keep a bottle of water on my desk so don't drink tea and coffee" should cover it.

helacells · 15/08/2018 01:01

YABU for not drinking tea or coffee Wink

liverbird10 · 15/08/2018 01:04

I'm the boss in our place, and I make tea for every bugger despite not drinking it myself... because I'm not a .

liverbird10 · 15/08/2018 01:06

** = twat!

9amTrain · 15/08/2018 01:07

I wouldn't say you're a twat if you didn't want to make tea and coffee for everyone when you didn't drink it yourself and nobody would ever need to make it for you either. ...