Advice needed please - child arrangement order

[Standinguptononsense]

Not really an Aibu as such but posted for traffic.

My ex husband and I have been separated for over 3 years. We have a court order in place for the children as of Oct 2016.

He is not taking me back to court because I won't agree to a spreadsheet dictating when each of us takes the children to the dentist, Dr's, hairdressers, get there feet measured and when they speak to the other parent when they are not with them! Despite me saying we can have a conversation about it, because I won't go to mediation (because a, there's no point and b I can't afford it). I've very recently remarried so I. Wonder if this has sparked his narcissist traits off again and he's trying to control every last thing.

Does anyone have an experience of this?

Thanks in advance

Xxx

Is it really bad of me that I' so gleeful that the d*ck has applied incorrectly

Raise it. If he's acting in person they'll probably let it slide. He will say he thought this issue was a specific issue. You'll say no, it's part of the general arrangements so part of the CAO. Not sure anything will come of it but magistrates are more sticklers for rules than district judges ime.

What's short shrift?

Told off

So they could dismiss it?

Hi OP,
I wish you all the very best for tomorrow. Let us know how it goes.

Of course I will and Thank you all for your help and support. It sure means a lot xxx

Is the hearing that you have tomorrow a FHDRA? If it is, there might just be a legal adviser there, no magistrates. They won't make any orders that aren't agreed, but will make sure your statements are on the court file and set a date for another hearing in a few weeks for the magistrates to decide.

christ OP just caught up with what you and the kids are enduring.... just want to wish you the best of luck tomorrow

@shallichangemyname I've sent you final one on pm xx

Good luck. Will be watching for your update.
I'm in court too this month. Always fun. 16th time for me I think

It says it's a directions appointment

Deep breaths. Sending positive thoughts. Xx

Thank you @mumteedum xx

At FHDRAs in my local court you get the magistrates and legal advisor.
I had one where there was a really small issue over the contact regime and they suggested hearing the parties and making a decision then and there which I agreed to as I could see they favoured my client and tbh both parents wanted a decision and not for it to drag on to another hearing.

There really needs to be something in place to prevent abusive men from abusing exes through abusing the court system

I'm hoping it gets resolved tomorrow. Tbh x

I absolutely agree!

@peverseconverse - I completely agree! I was in Family Court this week and now feel as abused as I was when we were together. And the "games" have already begun!

So I have a update....

The judges didn't read my statement as they had to give permission for submissions. He spoke first as the applicant and why he wanted it. Apparently I control everything and he needs it in a schedule.

I then spoke up, raised my points clearly and concisely with evidence backed up. The judges said that's what they expected should happen. I raised the measurement of feet which he had omitted from the order. They were flabbergasted.

I raised if he was that interested in the boys why he didn't attend anything at school.

They told him off. Said we needed to communicate better and it wasn't their job to dictate such things.

They then asked if he would like the opportunity to withdraw his application. Which he did.

He made himself look an absolute fool. 😂

Hurrah!

Hurrah! My ex withdrew his too last time because the judge told him he was wasting his time

Brilliant

They didn't even ask why I hadn't attended mediation. Their faces when I brought up the shoe measuring was hilarious 😂 😂 😂

They asked him if he agreed that them actually going to the dentist was the most important bit, which he replied with yes, they then asked why did he have to be him....he had no answer