Have I made a big mistake?

[JillianHoltzmann]

I'm due to have a baby on September 14th.

Before getting pregnant I applied for an Access to HE:Science course. This is the last year I am entitled to free education and I want to be able to provide a better life for my DD.
I accepted their offer after going to see the place, the lab is amazing and the course is ideal. The course is two days a week, and starts September 3rd.

During my interview I mentioned the pregnancy, the interviewer said that I I'd be able to take time off to have the baby and would be able to call and not come in if I even had a bad nights sleep.

I wasn't originally going to the interview, but my Mum said that I woulda be wasting an amazing opportunity and that even though the course (and subsequent uni course) would be difficult, it would be nothing compared to raising a child in poverty. I was raised by a single mother in extreme poverty (minimum wage and 3 siblings) and I remember how hard She worked to make our lives bearable, but she's never quite forgiven herself for the lives we had.

She offered childcare, and when I found out the course was only 2 days a week I jumped at the chance to go. It would mean that in 5 years i could be a fully qualified Biology teacher, and provide a better life for my daughter.
Have I done the right thing in accepting the course? Or AIBU to think I could raise a baby and simultaneously take on education? What would you do?

Absolutely you've done the right thing! I really wanted to finish my final MBA module and had twins 4 months before I completed. I did it - gave my career a great boost. It was hard, but I still got a distinction. Good luck!

Brilliant! Don't be course it'll be great for you and your children

I took my degree when I was expecting and then after I had DD1.
It's set me and my family up for life.
No, it's not easy but 2 days a week means you'll have 5 days a week with your baby and that's a great balance.

Good for you this sounds great. Hope it goes really well for you

You guys are so lovely ❤️ Thanks for all your supportive messages! Its a resounding "yes" from Mumsnet then!

"Have I done the right thing in accepting the course? Or AIBU to think I could raise a baby and simultaneously take on education? What would you do?"

You have done the right thing.

I worked two days a week from the time my baby was 8 months old and I really do appreciate now (my baby is 13) the fact that I can work and earn money. Being dependent on the state or a husband/boyfriend or low paid job is not at all good.

My kids and I have a good relationship and working some of the time has not hurt it.

You can do it. Good luck! Your child and family will be so proud of you and you should be proud of yourself too.

Worth noting/favouriting now, is a programme called Zotero - it will do all your referencing for you and takes all the hard work out of bibliographies and the such if you do have to do a long written project. Some of my friends did entire dissertations without discovering it and were horrified when I looked confused as they sweated over references and said “but haven’t you just been using zotero all along?” There are probably other equivalents; but I really really would recommend using some sort of programme.

Do it! I went back to work when my first born was five weeks and both DSs were in nursery from six months. They've grown up sociable!

Go for it. You are also likely to be able to ask for a higher than basic salary at the moment as loads of schools are desperate for scientists. I know we are currently paying more. Plus a lot of schools start new teachers before the summer break!

Well I think it's a wonderful opportunity for you and your child going forward. Definitely give it your best!

What a great thread! I feel really enthusiastic about you, OP, just by reading it.

Congratulations on your baby, and congratulations on taking your first steps towards a fulfilling career.

It’s not just the starting salary for teaching, it’s the annual increments and possibilities for promotion that lie ahead for you. You can build a comfortable life for you and your child now you’ve taken the first step.

Teaching of course isn’t easy, but few really worthwhile things are easy, are they?

I wish you all the best now, for your baby and for your future. You sound like an amazing person.

Absolutely brilliant! All the best to you & your bubba ☺️

Having done an access course myself, I honestly think you are setting yourself up to fail.

Having a baby is incredibly demanding, and you need time to recover from birth. You have no idea if your baby will be easily settled or one that demands more attention. You will be exhausted.

Access courses are very demanding, and out of a class of 28 on the first night, 16 went into the second year, and only 9 completed the course. Some of those people had children, but some didn't even have children and they still found it hard going.

All the posts on this thread are right to be supportive of the idea, and it is true that education is definitely the path for you, but IMO not this year. Wait until next September and start then.

Don't be silly! This is the best thing you'll do for your child. I wish you all the luck and success

What an opportunity! You should absolutely grab it with both hands. It is going to be absolute hell to be honest but so worth it for yours and your dd's future. I bet your mum is thrilled she will get plenty of nanna time too. Sod your mum's by, he is clearly a twatbadger and jealous of the thought of your mum not being available to him 24/7 and I imagine a little but scared of 'a WOMAN in science' 🙄

The first weeks are spent mostly feeding and cuddling while watching netflix or scrolling the internet, you'll just have to be reading text books instead!

The very best of luck to you x

Haven’t RTFT - but I’ve just finished my Access Science course. 3DDs - 9, 6 and 18 months old - single parent.

It IS doable. I haven’t come out with the straight Distinctions that I had been aiming for (ended up with 27D and 18M) due to DCs being sick and me missing classes, and just general single parent stuff getting in the way of my study time.

It is a LOT of work outside class times. I spent most of the year up till midnight most nights and the toddler didn’t sleep through till this February so it was extremely tough going.

However I’m still going to an RG Uni to do Microbiology.

PM me if you’d like to talk more.

I was 31 when I started the course and so had been out of education a long time.

I also have a friend who did Access Nursing with a 4 week old baby in tow.

I did an health and health science Access Course when I split from my DD dad. She was 2 at the time. Now 3 years later I will be starting my final year of my Social Work degree.

Like you, I wanted to give my daughter a better life and realised without education I end up in a dead end, unfulfilling, low paid job.

Even though the Access Course is only 2/3 days a week, you need plenty of home time to study and write essays. They push you pretty hard! Well done! it be hard work but worth it!

Go for it JillianHoltzmann

Op you are a star!! Go for it! It won’t be easy but will be so rewarding and worth while in the long run. I see it as no different to women returning to work after a few weeks, everyone has their reasons and no one should judge! You are building a future and with your mums support thrive.

I did my nurse training as a single parent with three children. It was very hard going but the best thing I ever did. Go for it OP.

Absolutely do the course! Im a single mum of 2 (not by choice) really struggling every month. It's really hard.

Yes it might be tricky juggling but it will be so worth it and the course sounds amazing!

oh god love... please be very careful about that "boyfriend" WHO ON EARTH DOES HE THINK HE IS SHOUTING ABOUT IT ALL? Who IS he? in the greater scheme of things? You go girl, and get that qualification, clearly your mum really wants you to, as well. Fantastic that you can still think forwards "with everything going on"! You sound strong, capable, and able. Go do it love! Good luck and big respect from me! WELL DONE!!! xxx

100% doing the right thing for both you and your dc. Might not be easy and sacrificing time with your little one now will be so worth it in the end. I wish you all the best in this. You will make it I’m sure xx