Have I made a big mistake?

[JillianHoltzmann]

I'm due to have a baby on September 14th.

Before getting pregnant I applied for an Access to HE:Science course. This is the last year I am entitled to free education and I want to be able to provide a better life for my DD.
I accepted their offer after going to see the place, the lab is amazing and the course is ideal. The course is two days a week, and starts September 3rd.

During my interview I mentioned the pregnancy, the interviewer said that I I'd be able to take time off to have the baby and would be able to call and not come in if I even had a bad nights sleep.

I wasn't originally going to the interview, but my Mum said that I woulda be wasting an amazing opportunity and that even though the course (and subsequent uni course) would be difficult, it would be nothing compared to raising a child in poverty. I was raised by a single mother in extreme poverty (minimum wage and 3 siblings) and I remember how hard She worked to make our lives bearable, but she's never quite forgiven herself for the lives we had.

She offered childcare, and when I found out the course was only 2 days a week I jumped at the chance to go. It would mean that in 5 years i could be a fully qualified Biology teacher, and provide a better life for my daughter.
Have I done the right thing in accepting the course? Or AIBU to think I could raise a baby and simultaneously take on education? What would you do?

I did very similar with tiny baby. Fracking hard for years, best decision of my entire life bar none. Good luck!

Do it or you'll regret it! It's fab of your mum to offer to have the baby too at two weeks old, it's only two days a week. I'd do it in a breath xx

My one issue would be is "why teaching"? There are lots of other things you can do with a Science degree, and a lot are far more child friendly than teaching. So I'd not restrict your options just yet.

But of course you can do the course, and a tiny baby is much easier than a toddler or older.

It will be hard but education is definitely worth it and it sounds like you have gone into it with you eyes open and your head screwed on.
He however sounds like an idiot.
Unfortunately when you have babies (at any stage in life) idiots of many shapes and sizes crawl out of the woodwork and spout absolute nonsense with complete conviction that they are absolutely right.
I had people telling me I was abandoning my child and he would suffer irreparable harm - even though I went back to work when he was 9mths old. He's now 10 and a lovely clever, well rounded individual.

All you can do is teach your children not to be idiot arses like those you meet in life and leading by example and taking a hard choice for a long term benefit is a fab first step.

Sorry OP, I don't think it's a good idea. The baby will be only a week old when you begin. You may change your mind when the time comes. Having a baby is full on and you may not be able to give your course your full attention. Which is how it should be as baby needs to come first at such a young age and you need to be the primary carer, not your mum.
Maybe it would be best for you to do the course later when the baby is at least a few months old? And I'm not saying this to put your off your goal, I'm being realistic.

Your mum's bf is stuck in the dark ages and an idiot by the sounds of it!
Yes you can definitely do it I think he just sounds jealous that he won't be getting attention!

Oh and and nice one to use against him when on about planes and global warming ask him if he's going to become vegan/vegetarian then? As methane produced by live stock globally is a bigger contributor to global warming than all transport combined....

Do it! It's an amazing opportunity and sounds like the university are supportive. I did an MA at the same time as having my ds. It was hard work but you can do it. Just think about that qualification at the end. 😊 Many mums go back to work fulltime within the first year of baby being born so your mums bf is talking crap. Completely normal to be a mum and study/work. Good Luck

OP, ds was 2 months old when I started my university degree, Primary QTS, it was hard but we were both fine! Well done and Good luck!!!

It will be difficult, of that there is no doubt, but it will be worth it and the rewards amazing. You'll be a fully qualified teacher as your child is at school and probably around for most of the school holidays with them.
You're going for a career with prospects and a great pension too. This is rest of life type stuff. You absolutely have to go for it.
Do you have a contingency plan for baby arriving late? As a PP suggested I'd be trying to get a head start on the course just now if you can
Congratulations and good luck about the course and the baby.

Go for it, take all the help you are offered, ignore your mum’s bf, he sounds like an arse, and good luck. Education is never wasted

Go for it, it will be hard to leave baby but you know they will be well looked after by someone who loves them. Your mum is fab for supporting you too.

You are absolutely doing the right thing but just to be realistic - be aware that giving birth and having a newborn will be physically and mentally draining. Being prepared for that will hopefully mean it comes as less of a shock and you can cut yourself some slack when things get tough. Good luck xxx

I guess it's not very compatible with breastfeeding but if you're not planning on breastfeeding then I guess it could work. Better to leave baby with your mum than a nursery.

The overwhelming response here is DO IT and that's coming from a lot of people with similar experience, not just unrealistic thinking!

I haven't done anything as difficult or brave as this and think you are absolutely an inspiration for trying. Like others have said, don't be put off if it does turn out to be too difficult at the start (difficult birth/recovery/non-sleeping baby etc) and you need to temporarily suspend your studies, plenty of people do for lesser reasons. This won't mean failure, just a short set back, and we all have these at various points in life. If your mum and the college is supportive then you are half way there, you clearly have the determination and long-term goal to get you the rest of the way. The baby will be a massive motivator too. It will be so so worth it in the long run, being able to financially support yourself and your child will transform your life and prospects immeasurably.

IGNORE the idiot boyfriend! Social Services would not even entertain his ridiculous ideas!

Of course it will be hard work but SOOOOO worth it! Go for it!
If teaching Biology has always been your dream, even more reason to do it. We need teachers like you!

Consider that your mum's boyfriend doesn’t want you getting an education, a science education, as you'll show him up for the idiot he is.

There are plenty of people in this world who want to keep others exactly where they are. Plenty of people whose own lack of education means they don’t want others educated.

Good luck.

You should absolutely do it. It will be hard but worthwhile. Good for you!

100% the right thing OP and it will be SO worthwhile. It will be hard, no doubt about that, but not as hard as raising a child in poverty.

Keep this thread and when you think you can't do this, re-read it. You can do this and you will. Well done OP, congratulations on your baby and this opportunity.

It'll be difficult but so worth it in the long run, my friend got pregnant during our last year of uni but managed to do a teacher training year and is now a fully qualified teacher! Go for it OP and good luck :)

I wish I had been able to do this after I had DD1 at 18.
When I did my B.Ed Science as 40yo there were several students who hadn't got the necessary GCSEs but had done a science access course. They were much better prepared for the degree course than those of us with A-levels. It's a very comprehensive course and assumes no prior science knowledge so you'll be fine.
Don't let anyone or anything distract you once you start the course.
Good luck!

You may not be “traditional” but think of the amazing example you are setting your daughter, teaching her the importance of a good education. Don’t worry about what the boyfriend says he doesn’t sound very nice anyway.

Congratulations, stick with it (it will be full on, but so worth it) and have an amazingly successful future. The study will go by so quickly

Yep, my money is on your mum’s BF not being thrilled to have her doing childcare (in their home). Sounds like a real prize, prioritising himself over a baby, you and his partner’s dream to see you succeed.

Outline to your mum that she is fabulous, it’s all going to go brilliantly, and her bf’s a pillock who’s only after his own comfort.

This is brilliant. Ignore the boyfriend, he sounds like an abusive, misogynist arsehole. Hopefully, your mum will get rid of him soon. Men like this usually become more vocalised when they see women are empowering themselves.

Later on when your dd is 2 you might qualify for 15 free hours childcare and then that will increase to 30 free hours when she's 3. You will have long summer holidays to spend with your dd, almost 3 months. Don't let a misogynist twat give up your dreams to improve your career.