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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think suicidal ideation is almost normal?

192 replies

crunchymint · 12/08/2018 18:00

By ideation I mean thinking of suicide, but making no real plans. I suspect that most people at some point in their lives, have vague suicidal thoughts. And although it is horrible to be distressed, I also suspect this is part of the human condition.
Obviously health professionals try and assess those with vague thoughts of suicide, from those who really are suicidal, and the latter need treatment and support.
AIBU to think this?

OP posts:
GoneWishing · 12/08/2018 18:06

YNBU. I always assumed it was completely normal, and was quite surprised to realise it's actually much less common than that, and there are people going through their wholes lives never thinking of it.

lemonsandlimes123 · 12/08/2018 18:07

No I don't think it is common at all. I have never thought about suicide at all. I have however had the type of intrusive thoughts you sometimes get at a cliff edge or on a tall building! I understand that these are an entirely different thing!

kaytee87 · 12/08/2018 18:09

No I don't think it's normal. I've never thought about committing suicide.

MrsMisstery · 12/08/2018 18:09

I have never thought of it (yet) - my FOMO is way too strong!
Imagine if something really good was about to happen and you killed yourself and missed out on it? Wouldn’t that be awful.
I have a fear of dying because I love living and you never know what adventures are just around the corner!

BalthazarImpresario · 12/08/2018 18:10

Ideation and intention are very different. Ideation shows that you have realised that a change needs to happen but have thought 'too far'.
Very natural but the word or mention of suicide is scary so can freak people out.

Branleuse · 12/08/2018 18:10

I assumed it was normal

EmUntitled · 12/08/2018 18:10

I disagree. I don't think it is normal and if I were having those kind of thoughts (even if I believed I had no intention of following through) I hope someone would help me get some support for my mental health.

haribosmarties · 12/08/2018 18:13

YANBU
I think many people fantasise about killing themselves. I think theres a bog difference between imaging how something might be... and actually wanting to do something and making plans to do it.
I mean whos fantasised about kicking slow walkers in front of them in the shins? Probably lots of people... and no its not a great thing to think about but its imagined to relieve anger and so as not to actually kick anyone in the shins in real life.... and so I think some peoples thoughts of killing themselves are similar to that

Original poster
crunchymint · 12/08/2018 18:14

Bran I assumed it was normal as well.
Untitled I have no mental health issues. Just sometimes shit things happen, as they do to everyone.

OP posts:
Eveforever · 12/08/2018 18:15

I was told by a psychiatrist that it was quite normal.

speakout · 12/08/2018 18:16

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SnowOnTheSeine · 12/08/2018 18:16

I never did until having DC. I didn't have PnD but I am just so exhausted I often think about it and how it would solve all my problems.

Life is just so fucking hard at the moment and I want to step off the treadmill. But I can't.

SnuggyBuggy · 12/08/2018 18:17

I assumed everyone had at least hypothetically contemplated suicide during especially bad moments.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 12/08/2018 18:17

How could it be normal? It’s not normal, nor is it particularly common.

Quartz2208 · 12/08/2018 18:17

I have never thought about it - I have thought about situations that might make me think about it (IYSWIM)

Original poster
crunchymint · 12/08/2018 18:19

speakout I know. I have lost a loved one to suicide. My thoughts are nothing more than vague ones. Just like when I was a kid and dreading a lesson at school I wished I could press fast forward and skip that lesson or day.
haribo Yes I see it as the same as fantasising about smashing into arsehole drivers with my car. I would never do this. But I do sometimes imagine it.

OP posts:
MissusGeneHunt · 12/08/2018 18:19

Yes speak out the devastation for others is ghastly. But for some it is NOT cowardly, and I am a little angry that's been said, sorry.

haribosmarties · 12/08/2018 18:20

I think in the same way that imagining kicking someone when you are angry helps to dissipate the anger, imagining killing yourself can help some people when they feel trapped or under immense pressure....
Depends how your mind works really...
I mean im sure there are much healthier ways to work through pressure and anger! But ive always been a very imaginative person and have probably thought about everything that could ever possibly happen no matter how dark or taboo... so im not remotely frightened of any of my own thoughts and dont think that any of them seriously mean id actually do anything like that in real life.

I did suffer with PND after the birth of my first child and the depression I experienced was very different to how I usually feel. So I dont think thoughts of suicide ARE always linked to depression at all.

I asked my husband as well... he is one of the most positive people you could ever hope to meet... and he said that he quite often imagined killing himself and does not feel he is depressed

MissusGeneHunt · 12/08/2018 18:20

Sorry, @speakout ^^

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 12/08/2018 18:20

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Original poster
crunchymint · 12/08/2018 18:22

I have imagined killing people too, especially an ex boss who was a total arsehole. I would never have dome that either. In fact I was a professional employee who controlled my emotions at work.

OP posts:
JamAtkins · 12/08/2018 18:22

I would have thought pretty normal, but I was well into my 20s before I clicked that not everyone heard voices in their head so don’t listen to me

MissusGeneHunt · 12/08/2018 18:22

Because to end your life because of the depths of despair you're in, I think is brave. It's just my opinion and I've been close, and my father did it, so I am aware of both sides.

ManeNachger · 12/08/2018 18:23

Normal.

kaytee87 · 12/08/2018 18:23

I never have any of these violent thoughts you've mentioned op.
Now I'm not sure if I'm the odd one.