To think suicidal ideation is almost normal?

[crunchymint]

By ideation I mean thinking of suicide, but making no real plans. I suspect that most people at some point in their lives, have vague suicidal thoughts. And although it is horrible to be distressed, I also suspect this is part of the human condition.
Obviously health professionals try and assess those with vague thoughts of suicide, from those who really are suicidal, and the latter need treatment and support.
AIBU to think this?

Oh and yes, I think it is normal to have these thoughts. I think it is partly so we feel we have a bit of control at that point. I have thought about it and know exactly how I would do it. To the poster that says it is a cruel way to treat those left behind, anyone that considers their own feelings above the poor soul that has ended their own life needs to give their moral compass a tap on the glass.

Suicide is violent and cowardly

What a vile and disablist thing to say. Do you have even the vaguest idea that not all disabilities are visible? Do you have the faintest idea what it feels like to have clinical depression or any of the other debilitating mental health issues that cause some people to consider suicide?

Ignore the poster calling suicide cowardly. They have a habit for posting the contentious and not engaging in constructive discussion. One might suggest they are nothing more than a goady fucker.

I think people like speakout have simply shut off their empathy for some reason. That is a defence and must make them feel powerful, untouchable. It is sad that such people, who have had to destroy their own compassion, exist but understandable too. It is as if they are polarising the distress and ultimate decision of the mentally distressed. It is an 'either or' position that cannot comprehend ghe complexities of the human condition.

TaintforTheLikesOfWe

Do you have the faintest idea what it feels like to have clinical depression or any of the other debilitating mental health issues that cause some people to consider suicide?B

Yes

It is not cowardly. The person thinking of suicide often genuinely thinks that the people left behind will be better off without them, that they are doing them a favour. Yes it devastates lives, and yes I have first hand knowledge of it and have seen what it has done to family members.

I have had thoughts myself in the past, when I was very low. When you feel lonely and have no friends and nowhere to go. "who would miss me" "nobody cares anyway" "nobody would even notice I was gone" and so on and so on.

I didn't go beyond those thoughts because I knew that it would destroy my parents and siblings.

I know I had suicidal thoughts when my dd died. The only thing that stopped me was I was pregnant at the time.

It's not cowardly to have mental health problems so severe that you can't think straight and honestly truly believe that the world is a better place without you.

I thought it was normal too.

I’ve never attempted or seriously considered it. But the thought has been in my mind at time

Thank you Chirpyburpy

I'm not sure it's normal. I never ever gave it a thought until something traumatic happened to me. Now it's a constant companion and I know exactly how I'd choose to kill myself. The difference is that before I felt I had worth and afterwards I know I do not.

I can't quite bring myself to kill myself now as I have 2 small dc but that doesn't stop me looking for opportunities to die. An example being declining blood transfusions during my last emergency section however I seem remarkably physically healthy and barely lost any blood.

Speak out - am appalled by your comments and how dare you judge people that take or try to take their own lives.

I tried to kill myself in March this year after surviving atempted murder and DV. I just couldn’t bear living with what happened to me and facing the life sentence I’ve been left with and knowing that the man that did this to me escaped justice and is free to do this again.

I am no coward, I just wanted to free.

When I was seriously considering it, I honestly thought that everyone would either be better off without me in the long term, or wouldn't be affected by my death. That isn't selfishness, is it? That's wanting to do the best for everyone, but being mentally ill.

I've had thoughts ranging from "Why the did my parents make me live? them!" to "If only I could just cease to exist", to "I want to die", to "I want to die by X method; here is my plan; shall I do it?" I think the first two are just an expression of hating my life at that moment, and don't really mean I want to die, whereas the last two are a bit more worrying and a sign I might not be in a good place.

Cowardly?
I also find that massively offensive.
I have had ideation recently, quite strongly. I managed to keep myself safe. Not everyone has a shiny, happy life all the time.
Best wishes to any and all who may be in need tonight. And a hug. And kind thoughts.

• I just wanted to be free

I think it is normal. Would be very interesting to know what percentage of the population has these thoughts.

rougebuterfly

I would have thought it was quite common to at one point or another in a persons life to have these thoughts. I have but not dwelled on it.

I don't think it's an act of cowardice. It used to annoy me when people would kill themselves involving others ie jumping in front of a train but I no longer think like this.

I think we also have to seriously consider the messages sent to the sick and unable to work in this society in the last decade. Their has been a very definite attempt to label all those who are unwell and on benefits as scroungers and worthless. If you are not contributing to the economy you are of not use. So, if your benefits are cut and cut, and the services you rely on are cut and cut and you see sensational article after article about people on benefits, how are you supposed to feel that you are worth anything?

If the government itself is sending out a message that those incapacitated are a drain on good, working, taxpaying members of society, how is that encouraging self worth, a feeling that your life is worthwhile?

It's all very well to say that suicide is cowardly, but when you are too unwell to work and you have been plunged into poverty because you 'don't deserve' PIP which all results in social isolation and you are given the message that you are worthless by the media it is easy to see how someone would believe suicide was a reasonable response.

I think we need to seriously look at how we treat the mentally unwell in our society.

Hmmm I’ve never thought about killing myself as such, however, before my youngest son was born, my eldest son almost chocked to death. He was blue lipped and unresponsive by the time I had managed to unblock his airways. He came round quite quickly but OH has already called an ambulance and due to the fact he was under 1, and has been unresponsive we were kept in hospital for observation. I didn’t sleep all night and I did think ‘if I hadn’t managed to unblock his airway in time, if he’d have died I would have killed myself’.

That day makes me feel sick whenever I think about it. Physically makes me shake. Worst day of my life without a single doubt,

@Speakout - it's laughable how you describe it as 'cowardly', whenever you yourself seem a-ok with inflicting incredible suffering on a suicidal person, if you insist they stay alive basically to make you feel okay.

What are you then, if not selfish and cowardly? Unable to confront the unpalatable truth that sometimes people are in so much pain they can't really have a life - they just hang on and exist until one day they can't?

You're nothing but a hypocrite. You see it as fine for the suicidal person to suffer on as long as you don't have to deal with pain from being bereaved, even if it's what they really want.

YANBU

The thinking violent thoughts about others - even minor ones like a kick in the shins mentioned- I never have those (though have heard before it's v common!).

Bottom line is our brains are all different and if it's a passing thought with no intent and that does not cause you distress then so what really.

Also want to say, disagree very much that suicide is cowardly that's an awful thing to say.

These thoughts are not abnormal

Many people will experience these thoughts like they will of acting out violently

When these thoughts are persistent and interfere with your everyday living that is when it’s not normal and intervention is really needed

I think many people are worried about expressing they have or have had these thoughts as how others will judge them

speakout
It sounds as though you are privileged never to have to go through what people have been through.

I’m disabled. I recently had major surgery. I’m not in a good way today. I now don’t think post operatively the surgery is going to improve my chronic illness in the way I hoped it would. Of course suicide has crossed my mind today. However I have too much of a will to live. But if I didn’t and instead killed myself it would be totally understandable and justifiable. I don’t want to leave my dd. So I can’t. Even if I wanted to.

I knew someone, who killed herself and left a couple of children behind. It was such a sad sad situation. I saw her shortly before she did if. I knew she had some issues but she hid being mentally unwell incredibly well. This makes me think she had decided to kill herself some time before.

I was under the impression the odd suicidal thought, that random automatic thought that seems to come from nowhere is normal. For example I was walking along a high bridge and the thought came up "I could jump off here and id die" but very quickly my brain told itself to shut up. No plans or intent to hurt myself. Obviously when suicidal thoughts are distressing, frequent, mental health problems, acted on or there are plans or intent that is very different and those people need to seek help. If everyone can feel more comfortable talking about things like this then it can help break the stigma around mental health.

PPs who have talked about your previous thoughts, suicide attempts and experiences of loved ones

PP who said suicide is cowardly is completely wrong. I think it actually takes a whole lot of bravery to do that. when you are at the point I imagine its difficult to rationalise anything and likely feel everyone around them would be much better off.