To think suicidal ideation is almost normal?

[crunchymint]

By ideation I mean thinking of suicide, but making no real plans. I suspect that most people at some point in their lives, have vague suicidal thoughts. And although it is horrible to be distressed, I also suspect this is part of the human condition.
Obviously health professionals try and assess those with vague thoughts of suicide, from those who really are suicidal, and the latter need treatment and support.
AIBU to think this?

Thank you @ravenmum. I've had ADs, and counseling and CBT for my last episode of depression / PTSD. My brothers diagnosis incurable cancer has knocked me sideways to the point that I don't really want to carry on. I can't see the point in it all. If someone can si cruelly take away his life. I'd rather it was me.
I tried to start my own thread for help but I think I'm beyond help

It's extremely common, though it's more common amongst white British than other ethnic groups.

I'd say it depends on how regularly someone was having these thoughts.

Normal for me, but I know it's not normal to think like this. I have been assessed as requiring longer term therapy than usually offered and am on a waiting list.

Knowing that at any point I could end things is what gives me the strength to keep going. I find it very comforting.

My mum, who did ultimately kill herself this year, was profoundly depressed most of her life and told me and my sister about her several suicide attempts when we were very young (8 and 10). As such, suicide has always felt like 'an option' for me, it's always been a thought in my head when things seem too painful or too hopeless. I don't know if its normal or just a function of my childhood. Stopped when I became a mother. Now it is not, and never will be, an option, unless my child dies. And then I think it wouldn't be so much an option as an inevitability.

There's a bit in the novel The Hours, where a housewife and mother with query PND (never explicit in the story, could just be a malaise of being an intelligent woman in a 50s boring life) can't take it any more, drops off her son with the neighbour and drives to a hotel, intending to end it all. When she gets there, just being there is enough to help her carry on - the fact she could have chosen to die. It is possible to die, she thinks, very calmly, and that gives her the strength to make some hard decisions and change her life. I think that is how most people, those who don't have MH issues or a particularly intimate relationship with suicide, think about suicide - it's a backstop, a sort of "well if all else fails" final option to avoid intolerable suffering. The thought of death that makes life bearable.

Normal for me. It's something I think about often, in that I dont actively consider it, I just know that it's an option. I know how I would go about it but not planning it, iyswim

I’ve often thought about it. Have tried couple of times, although not seriously. I don’t understand why I’m here a lot of the time. I don’t get why we’re here to just die. All the mental suffering. My head is a mess. But I keep going for the sake of my beautiful daughter. No one would know how I felt as I mask it very well.

@namechangedyetagain - that's understandable. I find it amazing how some people can get knocked down again and again, yet still find the strength to get up and squeeze some happiness out of their lives. I don't think anyone is "beyond help" as long as they are willing to be helped, though. But that is the point that others have been making: ultimately, if you are physically capable, you have the final say in what happens to you. Other people can't force their help upon you.

When you are mentally well and just want a back-up plan, that knowledge of your own control over your fate can be reassuring. The problem is that when you are not well, you might do something that "well you" would not actually want. Your depressed mind is not capable of imagining what your well mind would think. It's not able to make good decisions on behalf of well you. But you owe it to well you to make good decisions.

I've had these thoughts once - when I was 21 and my boyfriend dumped me. I knew I'd never do it though. That was over 20 years ago and I've never had them since.

I do have the thoughts when walking across a high bridge and wondering "what would happen if I jumped off?" - I think those are completely different.

Ooh my goodness everyone’s minds are fascinating. So many questions.
When you hear voices do they have genders and accents?

And does everyone who has had suicidal ideation have specific events which were traumatic or are prone to sadness?
My brother loves to watch sad films and listen to sad music and cry a lot but is generally cheerful. He does always have an urge to jump off tall things (which he says he would never do) - that is alien to me.

The urge to jump off things is called - the call of the void.

I don't know if it's normal or common but I've had suicidal thoughts at very low times during my life.

I definitely don't want to die but have had moments of 'I can't go on'. In these moments I've fantasised about just ending it all in an instant.

Alive also fantasised about getting in a car and just driving and never turning back starting a new life, I wouldn't do that either.

I've got mild anxiety but have never been assessed as having anything more serious.

It gets on my nerves when people just say oh get help, as though it's always that simple. There isn't always a cure if you've had traumatic experiences or are predisposed to mental health problems.

Tall You sound like me. I don't think I have mental health problems. But I have at times had a lot to deal with. I think in these circumstances it is normal to be upset and to struggle. But I always carry on.

It's very common for people who are being bullied or excluded.

This reminds me of the 'Kevin' sketch from Harry Enfield where he says "I bet you'd all miss me if I was dead" and then he goes off to lie in a bush in the garden I think 🤔

I thought like that loads when I was a teenager.

I think it's a bit like standing on a cliff edge and considering jumping off. Something you never would do but the fantasy is still there

For me it was often related to anxiety, for example I was very scared of failing my exams and not getting into uni. I think it was more a case of not knowing what to do.

Nothing i have really thought about but i have had intrusive thoughts have around self harm or someone dying. They are indicitive of anxiety sometimes.

That is what the thought jaxhwc mentions are. Most people have fleeting such thoughts but with anxiety they can become more prolific.

Both ideation and intent are quite common I think. I have done/do both, with one thwarted attempt so far. Pretty sure I won’t do it again because of DCs, but I do wish it had worked.

I had a horrendous time about 3 years ago when I had a head injury, post concussion syndrome, a LOT of cognitive problems and a terrible mental breakdown followed by a permanent incurable drug-induced movement disorder caused by awful anti-psychotic drugs. I still have it now.

I also had other very trying and depressing things in the past couple of years including my DB dying of cancer last year aged 34, plus an ectopic pregnancy and losing my job. I found some notes that I'd written during my mental health crisis after my head injury and I was feeling very suicidal, but evem during those darkest moments, I doubt I would have had the guts to do it. I was very VERY depressed and if anything else had tipped me over the edge, I think I would have seriously contemplated it.

It’s normal for me but I’ve never discussed it with anyone else and no one has ever mentioned it to me.