Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think his behaviour was pretentious/ toffy??

252 replies

Summerdays011 · 12/08/2018 00:29

I've been on a few dates with a guy who ordered a bottle of wine at a restaurant and accepted waiters offer to try it, he swirled it on the glass then smelt it... then .. finally tasted it!! (I know this is the correct way to order /taste wine lol but it made me cringe??)

When I then picked up my glass and went to drink it he said "smell it first"... I wanted to throw it at him lol!!
.. am I over reacting???

OP posts:
Maliali · 12/08/2018 06:08

Sounds pretentious twattery to me. Just drink the bloody stuff and don’t make a show of it.

KittyHawke80 · 12/08/2018 06:16

It’s of no significance that it was stopped with a cork, or a screw top: a screw top can’t be corked, obviously, and that’d be fine if being corked were the only thing that might be wrong with a bottle - but spoiling can happen for any number of reasons, at any stage in the process. It’s perfectly possible for a screw top to be ‘off’. Still wouldn’t put on a pantomime for a twenty quid restaurant bottle, so I’m not surprised you were a bit cringe, OP.

Stirner - ‘have took’? Honestly?

Ethylred · 12/08/2018 06:19

Why don't you talk to him about it rather than us?
You might even learn something.

KittyHawke80 · 12/08/2018 06:20

Oops - just seen your post, CommanderDaisy.

AgathaRaisonDetra · 12/08/2018 06:22

But did he slosh it around inside his mouth to aerate it before swallowing? If not, he doesn't know his wines.

Was it red wine? Did he say it had good legs?

NorthernSpirit · 12/08/2018 06:22

Hi he sounds like a knob.

Skittlesandbeer · 12/08/2018 06:32

Him sniffing, swirling (very briefly) and then tasting- not offensive. Actually the main message is he’s tasting to ensure you don’t get a big mouthful of off wine. Quite helpful and polite.

Him correcting you and preventing you from just drinking from your own glass??? 100% Plonker. A plonk Plonker. No second date, mate. Enjoy your extensive impressive wine collection alone.

I’d probably have returned the favour, instructing him to pause with his forked food in the air. Perhaps to say a quick prayer of thanks for the animal’s life, or the farmer who raised them? Equally eyebrow raising.

Unless you’ve asked for advice on wine appreciation, he’s in mansplaining territory.

Sleephead1 · 12/08/2018 06:43

I don't really drink and never enjoyed wine but I've never seen anyone who does drink wine do this. I would think it was showing off aswell and I think it's very rude of people saying you are not sophisticated. May be it is normal for some people but not everyone. I've never seen anyone do it.

IsMyUserNameRubbish · 12/08/2018 06:48

If he says a wine buff then this is the norm, he was also trying to impress on his date, by the sounds of it, the poor sod shouldn't have bothered and just grabbed a can off Coke and a bag of fish and chips.

BIWI · 12/08/2018 06:49

Corked wine isn't always a different colour. It's something that you should be able to detect by smelling it - but again, not always, which is why tasting it is important.

Oh, and @BertrandRussell, it does sometimes happen that the sommelier will taste the wine before you do! I was gobsmacked the first time that happened to us! (Fancy French/Michelin starred restaurant, so not the usual!)

diodati · 12/08/2018 06:57

This is normal behaviour before drinking a special bottle of wine but even then, you don't need to make a song and dance of it. A sniff, a swirl, a sip and, if it's to your liking, a nod. That's it.

daisychain01 · 12/08/2018 07:02

What don't you get about using all the senses (taste, smell, sight) to appreciate a wine and check it hasn't been tainted with cork ('corked') or turned rancid / vinegary or whatever. Smell and then taste gives a complete sensory experience. But I expect you'll think I'm being pretentious for saying it like that.... He was being thoughtful imo.

Reminds me of school where we were only 'allowed' to read French with a naff English accent for fear of coming across as pretentious and stuck-up. Sigh, tedious.

Cismyass · 12/08/2018 07:03

This would make me cringe OP. Despite my family having plenty of money/education etc we are very much 'Wetherspoons' (there is bugger all wrong with the place i love it). And ostentatious shows or behaviour curl my toes.

daisychain01 · 12/08/2018 07:06

Probably the sommelier traditionally tried it first so he ended up with thr gob full of corked rancid wine instead of Monsieur et Madame and could then scurry off to get a replacement bottle.

daisychain01 · 12/08/2018 07:10

The French wouldn't think twice about it, no matter what demographic status they fit into, but good food and wine is part of everyday existence (and the simpler the better - hunk of cheese bread and glass of wine will do), so they don't see it as making a song and a dance about it, it's just a sensible way of doing it.

WeWantJustice · 12/08/2018 07:20

Swirling and tasting the wine to ensure it's OK and actually get the full flavour of it if it is - OK

Telling you to do it too - insupportable

Original poster
Summerdays011 · 12/08/2018 07:20

Thanks everyone.. I agree! The way the French do it in no way comes across pretentious at all!

As for am I seeing him again.. probably yes as I don't think it's grounds to dump .. will just hope he's not pretentious in other ways

OP posts:
OohOohMrPeevly · 12/08/2018 07:24

All that swirling and sniffing would have put me off him and being told to smell it would have been the final straw - he sounds like a big old show off.

TerfsUp · 12/08/2018 07:26

You are over-reacting. A friend does this but it's all good because he puts up with my quirks.

MairyHole · 12/08/2018 07:28

If you've ever tasted that wet dog corked wine taste, you might well smell first as you can usually tell by smell anyway.

I don't get why British people are so embarrassed by tasting wine. There's nothing pretentious about smelling wine before you drink it, it's how you're supposed to drink wine, it increases enjoyment and why wouldn't you want to enjoy the thing you've just paid for properly?

I think YABU...

LivLemler · 12/08/2018 07:29

I hate the whole wine tasting ritual - if the bottle is corked or otherwise off, it'll be replaced just as much if it's been poured or not. Given how rare that is these days, going through the tasting bit at every table, rather than the waiter being called back to the very occasional table with a dodgy bottle, is frankly just a waste of time.

I often smell the wine before I take a sip, especially if it's a nice bottle. But it's possible to do so without being a knob. And I certainly don't care what my dinner companions do!

MairyHole · 12/08/2018 07:29

Telling you to smell it is a bit much, but honestly you might find it enhances the taste for you, it does for most people

zzzzz · 12/08/2018 07:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OliviaStabler · 12/08/2018 07:37

It wouldn't have bothered me but the fact it bothered you so much does not bode well for your compatibility as a potential couple.

RachelAnneJ · 12/08/2018 07:37

My cousin is a sommelier and prefers it when customers swirl and sniff, he likes people that appreciate wine!

Swipe left for the next trending thread