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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think his behaviour was pretentious/ toffy??

252 replies

Summerdays011 · 12/08/2018 00:29

I've been on a few dates with a guy who ordered a bottle of wine at a restaurant and accepted waiters offer to try it, he swirled it on the glass then smelt it... then .. finally tasted it!! (I know this is the correct way to order /taste wine lol but it made me cringe??)

When I then picked up my glass and went to drink it he said "smell it first"... I wanted to throw it at him lol!!
.. am I over reacting???

OP posts:
Carrotmama · 14/08/2018 20:07

There is possibly some debate to be had about his telling you to sniff the wine too.

However the real issue here is you came back from a first date going on about his wine tasting style rather than thinking, "what a promising first date, I can't wait for the second!"

Let the guy go to find a more suitable partner, who enjoys sniffing wine etc.

TornFromTheInside · 14/08/2018 20:08

Didn't say he was!

I was just joking with the best type of snob question! hence saying the best stops look down on themselves, not others.

Carrotmama · 14/08/2018 20:08

Sorry OP I see you've been on a few dates not just one. Even more reason to think you're not a match!

TornFromTheInside · 14/08/2018 20:16

In hindsight, he probably would have been better to just ask 'do you like your wines?' and taken a measure of things from that response. If she'd said 'I like it, but not a massive expert' - then he could have struck up a conversation about it, or just left it with 'well enjoy - cheers!' and started a new subject.

I don't think 'sniff it' would be an order, but it could come across as 'it's the correct way' and I think that's where the tension comes in.
I've had it with coffee - making an instant coffee and someone telling me not to scorch the coffee with boiling water. Yeah I know mate, I just don't give a damn, it's instant coffee. I'm going to put milk in it. I'm really not missing out on a world of coffee wonder here.

Maybe the chap with a bit nervous. I can understand that. Maybe he was saying 'smell it first' as a means to start a conversation about wine and it came across the wrong way. I guess we'll never know.

I would imagine had the evening been great thereafter, none of it would have mattered.

ConfusedWife1234 · 14/08/2018 20:32

I do not understand anything about wine at all but I do think he was just trying to give her a better wine experience so to speak.
I think it doesn‘t hurt.

ImAIdoot · 14/08/2018 20:34

I'm also a bit puzzled by people thinking knowing how to taste wine is posh.

Probably every chain off license you've been in, ever has several minimum wage people working there who have done a wine tasting certificate.

TheLastNigel · 14/08/2018 23:22

Confusedwife...I enjoy a fashion snob...they are often comedy gold.
And I quite enjoy the antics of the sort of faux hippy types of snobs. Organic spelt for breakfast types.
But I like a nice honest toff the best of all. The kind that have a huge country house and a long lineage but are living off baked beans because they can't afford the heating. I love a plummy accent, me.

TornFromTheInside · 14/08/2018 23:27

Art snobs are funny too.
In fact it's just the overly pretentious thing that's as transparent as glass sometimes. It's quite amusing.

I switch off the moment I'm told why I should like something or why I shouldn't. I'd like what I damn well please!

shinyredbus · 14/08/2018 23:29

Totally normal. I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t do this with a cork bottle. You are not compatible OP - sorry.

TornFromTheInside · 14/08/2018 23:34

I don't do it. If it's corked I'll call the waiter or sommelier back - no problem. I don't want to waste time pissing about with someone stood at the table any longer than necessary.
Each unto their own.

BertrandRussell · 14/08/2018 23:56

I would be amazed if anyone’s had a corked bottle since about 1990.

TornFromTheInside · 14/08/2018 23:58

think I've had about 3 in a lifetime.
Then again, it's hard to cork wine in a box innit!

HotblackDesiatoto · 15/08/2018 00:00

Wine taint affects at least 2-3% of all wines stoppered with cork, so that is an awful lot of wine since 1990.

TornFromTheInside · 15/08/2018 00:01

It may do, but that doesn't mean every one is detected

HotblackDesiatoto · 15/08/2018 00:02

who said it did?

TornFromTheInside · 15/08/2018 00:03

100 bottles is not so many over 35 years of drinking!

TornFromTheInside · 15/08/2018 00:04

Who said anybody said it did?

HotblackDesiatoto · 15/08/2018 00:07
Hmm
NinetySixer · 15/08/2018 18:29

I’m a Somm and I’m always put off when dining with people like this. It’s unnecessary, particularly making you sniff it.

If I am out in a group or with someone I don’t really know a quick sniff and nod to the person serving. If with my DP perhaps more of a conversation about notes etc.

I want people to enjoy their meal and wine not be put off by my soliloquys about the nose of the fucking wine

VladmirsPoutine · 15/08/2018 18:59

ImAldot That is disingenuous, come off it. The man wanted to the OP to smell the wine and take part in his grandstanding. She like I would also have done cringed at the pretentiousness of it all. I don't like 'anti-intellilecutal' sentiment either in the way you describe in your post; not all well-spoken, well-read and accomplished people are doing it for the show of it - most of us are just living our lives but you can spot these type of people a mile off. I once dined with someone that had a Chanel handbag - she held it in such a way as to make sure everyone knew it was Chanel. I couldn't have been more embarrassed for her.

VladmirsPoutine · 15/08/2018 19:00
  • anti-intellectual

Grin oh the irony!

TornFromTheInside · 15/08/2018 19:06

Intelliliecutal it's Latin for extra clever.
I've got your back Vlad!

VladmirsPoutine · 15/08/2018 20:47

@TornFromTheInside Grin Thanks! Bloody sod's law!

TornFromTheInside · 15/08/2018 20:52

Posh people make deliberate spelling mistakes in order to mingle with the masses.

This is absolutely ture

FlotSHAMnJetson · 15/08/2018 21:13

Okay, so I was about to say YABU then you said it was a £20 restaurant bottle of wine, in which case, where on earth are you eating that does fine wine for £20 a bottle?!

I hope he enjoyed his plonk!