Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think his behaviour was pretentious/ toffy??

252 replies

Summerdays011 · 12/08/2018 00:29

I've been on a few dates with a guy who ordered a bottle of wine at a restaurant and accepted waiters offer to try it, he swirled it on the glass then smelt it... then .. finally tasted it!! (I know this is the correct way to order /taste wine lol but it made me cringe??)

When I then picked up my glass and went to drink it he said "smell it first"... I wanted to throw it at him lol!!
.. am I over reacting???

OP posts:
Stirner · 12/08/2018 00:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheDowagerCuntess · 12/08/2018 00:51

He only need to sniff OR taste it - not both, so I'm inclined to agree with you, OP.

Original poster
Summerdays011 · 12/08/2018 00:51

Stirrer.. you have issues.. go and get help.. good luck.. you'll need it!

OP posts:
popocatepetals · 12/08/2018 00:52

I don't really drink any more so my knowledge is out of date, but I did know a fair amount about the stuff thanks to a former colleague whose friend was a Master of Wine.
I would always taste the wine in a restaurant. Once I said to the waiter that it was corked, and he rather superciliously looked at me as if to say "oh yeah??" so I suggested he tried it. It was off, and he went and got another bottle which I tried - it was fine.

OP the tasting part was normal for someone who knows about wine - the bit where he started telling you how to smell it was probably a rather clumsy attempt on his part to introduce you to the delights of wine tasting.

AjasLipstick · 12/08/2018 00:53

I live in a wine region in Australia. When I first got here I was Hmm at the wine obsession but it's normal really. People are "into" wine and they do their thing.

Original poster
Summerdays011 · 12/08/2018 00:53

Thanks the dowager.. that was exactly my thought and how I felt at the time.. it seemed slightly ott...

OP posts:
ASpringerEspanya · 12/08/2018 00:54

Stirner has obviously been on the wine herself tonight. Having a tipsy rage. Lol. Talk your issues out with a psychiatrist love, not getting angry at strangers online 😂

Stirner · 12/08/2018 00:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

edwinbear · 12/08/2018 00:54

It’s very bad manners to make a show of tasting wine. I wouldn’t bother for a £20 bottle of wine no, but a decent one can be checked without looking like a pretentious arse.

Once he’s tasted it, clearly there is no need for you to do so, as he has checked it’s not corked on your behalf.

YANBU.

MrsEricBana · 12/08/2018 00:55

Him smelling it and tasting it = normal, him telling you to smell it = not on. I am not into wine so I don't love this bit of the meal but dh does it too and he's a keeper 😊

ScreamingValenta · 12/08/2018 00:56

I taste wine if offered the opportunity, but it's a rather pointless exercise if I'm honest, as I can't imagine myself ever declaring 'Nooo! It's vile! Take it away!' Grin

Original poster
Summerdays011 · 12/08/2018 00:56

Theres no sophistication in hurling insults stirner.. you've made me chuckle anyway!

OP posts:
ASpringerEspanya · 12/08/2018 00:56

Sophistication. Belly laughing 😂

Original poster
Summerdays011 · 12/08/2018 00:59

Thanks Mrs Eric that's what I thought.. him telling me how to drink it just seemed rather patronising!

OP posts:
SummerIsEasy · 12/08/2018 01:01

When we were young, if you ordered a bottle of wine in a restaurant it was a big deal and there was usually a cork involved. We always tasted after being left with a corked bottle when we declined to taste, because we didn't understand the etiquette.

CommanderDaisy · 12/08/2018 01:01

It's perfectly normal. Not pretentious.
His insistance you do it too, was probably as a pp said a clumsy way of sharing his knowledge.
That's how you are supposed to taste wine, and if he's done training in the area he's just doing what he's learned. Rolling it around the glass gives it a chance to aerate before you smell it. It's a small approximation of what happens when it's decanted or poured. There are other reasons for doing it, but that's the simple explanation.
Wine with corks goes off. Cheap bottles and expensive ones. You don't taste it, you're stuck with it.
Wine in screw tops also goes off, contrary to popular opinion. You should also taste that.

(Used to be a sommelier and a hospitality teacher.)

BareBum · 12/08/2018 01:02

Surely it doesn’t matter how expensive or cheap the wine is, you’re tasting/smelling it to check it’s not off. I don’t want to drink corked or otherwise damaged wine at any price. That’s not snobby.

Instructing you to smell the wine is a bit try hard though.

MinorRSole · 12/08/2018 01:02

No he isn't sophisticated, he's just being a twat but I don't really get wine lovers anyway - i would rather have a beer tbh. I'll probably get called thick now too but luckily I don't give a shit

BadLad · 12/08/2018 01:02

Honestly I think you're an inverted snob and lack sophistication, ......... have took

Grin

Don't talk to me about sophistication. I've BEEN to Leeds.

You're being ironic, right? Champion.

edwinbear · 12/08/2018 01:07

Corked wine is very obviously corked whether your swirl it in your glass or not - a subtle sniff will soon tell you it’s corked without putting on all the pomp.

anitagreen · 12/08/2018 01:08

I'm to poor for this thread I hate win and gin just give me a double vodka and redbull and I'm happy Grin

MyDirtyLittleSecret · 12/08/2018 01:10

He was right to smell and taste it as the host and as the bottle was opened tableside. That's not pretentious that's just good sense because sometimes wine gets tainted in the bottle. But having done so and approved it, it would be rude for other guests to start with a whole sniffing and swirling performance since that would be questioning his judgement that the wine was acceptable to drink. So he was wrong in two counts in telling you to sniff it first, one because he should trust his own judgment enough to not have others second guess him and two it's just plain bad manners to tell other people how to drink or eat.

wafflyversatile · 12/08/2018 01:11

Dont be mean people. I think maybe stirner is just trying to assist people on the thread by personifying pretentiousness and toffyness for anyone unfamiliar. Every thread needs it's comedy villain.

Most wine tastes like cats piss imo. Someone once ordered a £400 bottle of wine for me to show the difference between bog standard and top quality wine. The bouquet was absolutely divine. The vinous equivalent of Chanel no 5. Still tasted like cats piss mind.

Original poster
Summerdays011 · 12/08/2018 01:11

Thats what I think Edwin.. it was like the swirling then smelling.. was for show.. if we were a a wine tasting event the I'd have no problem with it at all! Just seemed a little ott in a restaurant ...

OP posts:
Dljlr · 12/08/2018 01:13

No need to taste; the whole point is to check it's not corked, the point being to avoid tasting in case. A sniff tells you it's fine, you give the nod for the pour. It's not a test to see if you like it; if you spat it out and said you don't enjoy the taste then that would be tough shit.

On that basis, you're right op: it's pretentious.