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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Visitor ordering only for themselves

267 replies

boingbat · 11/08/2018 21:58

Invited friends round for drinks and dinner. Things were a bit delayed because I was sorting out kids etc. Served dinner, heard a knock at the door my male friend had ordered a takeaway for one and was incensed when we pulled him up on it. AIBU?

OP posts:

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 12/08/2018 08:12

So many pretentious snobs on this thread, maybe that's why she hasn't came back.
OP, he was outrageously rude to order a takeaway when he's visiting you for dinner, however you should have warned him dinner was going to be later. It still doesn't excuse his rudeness though.

MamaOotie · 12/08/2018 08:47

I actually think the host was rude. The plan had gone spectacularly wrong with dinner so someone took the initiative. You don't berate a guest in front of others when you're the one who messed up! I would have laughed it off and got him to share. You could have turned it into a fun dinner instead of getting snotty with him.

Don't worry I'm sure he won't be back.

YeTalkShiteHen · 12/08/2018 08:50

Fucks sake if he was so hungry he wanted a takeaway for one he should have left and had it at home!

The snootiness on this thread is unreal!

Sometimes dinner is late, sometimes hosts mess up, but the absolute height of rudeness is to order takeaway food, for yourself at someone else’s house and not include them.

I like a chip butty. With curry sauce

YeTalkShiteHen · 12/08/2018 08:51

Just realised there were other guests so he excluded them too! Even worse.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 12/08/2018 08:57

Oven chips!

LoniceraJaponica · 12/08/2018 08:59

IMO both the host and guests played it wrong.

I can't sleep if I eat at 9. OH has had gastro surgery and can't eat this late either. When we have people round they tend to come for 6.30 - 7. We have drinks and nibbles first then food at about 8ish.

Shoxfordian · 12/08/2018 08:59

He was very rude to just order himself food. How did he even try to justify it?

Lydiaatthebarre · 12/08/2018 09:07

What time were they invited for? If you asked them around for half seven or eight then dinner at nine sounds OK. If you asked them over for six o clock annd they were still sitting there st 8.30 with no sign of dinner I would expect they were getting fed up. His behaviour was still very rude and a bit daft though.

youarenotkiddingme · 12/08/2018 09:12

The rules are you NEVER go somewhere for a meal hungry!

A slice of toast or banana before you go - it's actually easier to eat more when your not starving!

The IL thread is different - they are there for days. I'm sure this fella could have waited a while longer - if he got it at 9 he must have ordered around 8 on a Saturday evening - hardly late!

Booboostwo · 12/08/2018 09:30

My grandmother was taught to eat a full meal before a dinner party invite so she could then peck at her food like a well brought up young lady ala Gone With the Wind.

Just saying...seeing as the OP has disappeared and we have to make our own entertainment.

SalemBlackCat · 12/08/2018 09:34

Omg, how unbelievably rude. Is he the pig from the hotel thread where he ordered chicken wing starters for himself and was going to force everyone to watch him eat first, before they got theirs? Lol

Pannalash · 12/08/2018 09:40

Shatners ‘Chip butty amuse bouche’ Genius

Legageddon · 12/08/2018 09:49

He must have been starving though so I can feel his pain.
Expecting to eat about 7 and just getting a few chips and no food until half nine is really bad form OP.

BarbedBloom · 12/08/2018 09:52

9pm would have been way too late for me to eat dinner. We normally eat at 6 as I can’t sleep after a late meal. But it all depends on what time they arrived and were expecting dinner. It takes at least an hour for a takeaway here at the weekend and he had had chips as well, which would have needed to be cooked. It sounds as though they were there for quite a while with no food.

It is a bit rude to order a takeaway, but to be honest, if I was expecting dinner at say 7pm and hadn’t eaten since lunch then I might end up being a bit unreasonable too.

Gwenhwyfar · 12/08/2018 10:06

"9.00 p.m. is still within the realms of normal if you're doing 'drinks and dinner' isn't it?! "

No! I usually eat at 6.30, so I'd be starving!

NataliaOsipova · 12/08/2018 10:08

Unbelievably rude!

Another vote for 9 not being that late for dinner, especially for a "Saturday night, drinks and dinner" scenario. (We often end up eating at that time in the week as well.)

Secretsquirrel101 · 12/08/2018 10:11

This is an outstanding thread 😂 thanks for the laugh OP!

Havabiscuit · 12/08/2018 10:13

It’s odd of him to just order for himself. I’d have said “ can see you’re busy, why don’t we just order take out”
But TBF op, what were you doing still feeding the kids at that time of night. You had people coming. If your day had over run and it had got that late and you’d invited people I’d have just made a massive Spag Bol and fed everyone together.

LoniceraJaponica · 12/08/2018 10:16

""9.00 p.m. is still within the realms of normal if you're doing 'drinks and dinner' isn't it?! ""

No. We usually eat between 6.30 and 7.30ish. If I had had nothing to eat since lunchtime I would be uncomfortable hungry. DD would be hangry.

Havabiscuit · 12/08/2018 10:16

I’d always aim to start feeding people about half an hour 45 mins after they arrive. Whatever time that might be.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 12/08/2018 10:19

We once went to someone's for dinner and were served the starter at 9.45.
It turned out the hostess wouldn't leave the child's cot until he fell asleep.
We had to wolf down dinner and then run to get home
for the babysitter.
To make matters worse, host was on a diet so served a recipe from weightwatchers, my dh (ex forces) nearly ate his own leg.

ImAIdoot · 12/08/2018 10:34

I think always eating something is a good idea but a lot of people see it as polite to eat the whole meal and say it was delicious even if it tastes like crap, so I can see someone making sure they were hungry just as easily.

Everyone can get angry it's just a matter of what it takes. Once when OH was faffing about making an elaborate meal and using every cooking utensil, plate and bowl in the house until nearly 10 and I hadn't eaten all day, just marched in the kitchen and made myself beans on toast while they were still messing around. That was at home, though. If it was at someone else's house I would probably just make my excuses and leave.

ImAIdoot · 12/08/2018 10:34

Everyone can get hangry

Imokbutnotok · 12/08/2018 10:40

My mum used to delay dinner when we would visit until 7pm or so by which point the kids would be starving so I would have to feed them.its a bit rude for your adult guest to do it without asking first though.

AlexanderHamilton · 12/08/2018 10:42

Dinner at 9pm is way too late. If was invited at 7-7.30 I’d expect to be eating by 8pm. If I was invited at 8pm I’d make sure I had a light tea around 5-6pm but would expect food by 8.30pm.

I’d have feigned illness & left by 8.30pm at the latest.

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