to be sick and tired of people being rude about our home?

[Breadsticksandhummus]

We (DH, me and 2 year old DS) live in a 2 bedroom flat in London. It's pretty small, but it's not tiny. It doesn't have a garden. We bought it four years ago, are not planning any more DC and have no plans to move. It's 30 minutes away from my mum's and we have a great support network in this area. DH's commute is quick and easy (I work from home).

So we are fine. We are happy. And yet I am SO sick and tired of comments (mainly from DH's family, but also from some extended members of mine and a few friends) about "poor DS" "not having enough space to run round" and expressing shock and horror that for the same price of this flat in London we could have bought a house outside London, constantly asking when we're planning on moving etc etc. Yesterday when MIL was here she said "oh this place gets smaller every time I visit".

I find it really insulting and upsetting. We've done it up nicely. We keep it tidy, clean and clutter free. DS has a nice home here with everything he needs. OK we have no garden but we have at least 3 or 4 lovely big parks within walking distance of the flat, a garden at my mum's and he has a lovely big garden at nursery which he goes to 3 days a week. I can't drive for medical reasons so being in London is incredibly convenient for me as I can simply walk or get public transport everywhere.

I wouldn't dream of visiting someone else's home and making such comments. Why do they do it?!

Not read the whole thread....but my cousin lives in a 1 bed flat with 3 kids and her DH. Of course it's too small. I don't say anything because she must know it's small...but I've had to stop myself saying that this overcrowding will have a negative impact on the DC.

If it was a closer family member like a sibling...I would have said something long ago. It's almost cruel living in such a cramped space.

Family members tend to feel more free to speak their mind.

I would find a small 2 bed flat restrictive for a toddler, with little room to run around...but it's paradise compared to my cousin.

Meh! I live in a house with a decent sized garden. I pay someone to cut the grass for me due to working hours vs weather conditions. I also have an allotment 5mins away that I'm happy to spend time on vs cutting the grass for an hour at home, which I find challenging to keep up with due to the afore mentioned limitations. It's all relative really and nobody else's business for what works for me. OP you're living the lifestyle that suits you best good on you.

Oh this thread is hilarious 
@Breadsticksandhummus she's just bloody rude! We got this when we lived in a 2 bed flat (bigger than most 3 bed houses) We actually wanted to move at one point because it was too big, but had all the 'ooh now you've got a child you'll need to move'

Well we did, and now the rude people have transferred their bollocky comments onto how our garden is tiny and what a shame about the garden, the house is so lovely'
^ Or my favourite, from a friend living in one of the shittest areas locally, with no garden either - your garden is shit, why did you buy this.^
One person's heaven is another's hell. A few on here would do well to consider this...

Just laugh and say DS lives in London! What more does he need?! He'll have a bloody awesome life. Very very bad manners to be so rude and they wouldn't be welcome anymore

I love this thread, because it is so like my MIL. We live in a flat in the SE, household income £40k, flat value £200k. She just can't understand why we haven't bought bigger. No amount of telling her we already have a many multiples of income mortgage, and to buy bigger we would have to move far, far away.

My family are always rude about where I live as it's not a "naice" area. They are always worrying their car is going to be vandalised when they visit and things like that. Winds me up.

Yesterday when MIL was here she said "oh this place gets smaller every time I visit"

If she says it again, say: No, it's you getting bigger.

How rude. There's only one response to being in someone's house: how comfy/cosy/ light. In much the same way that as far as I am concerned, all pregnant women "look well".

Poor suffering London children with their high performing schools, high aspirations and opportunities for social mobility.

www.theguardian.com/education/2015/sep/30/london-schools-success-gradual-improvements-not-policies-lse-ifs-report

It’s incredibly rude to comment negatively on anyone’s house op she’s rude.

Who was it taking their kids on 10 mile hikes? Poor little sods.

Given my other thread about patience levels I do have a certain admiration for the ten mile hike parent. It took mine about 45 minutes to dawdle home from the park.

I don’t think I have ever walked 10 miles by choice. We once got lost in the wyer forest and that still traumatises me.

My MIL always used to refer to our house as 'your little house' with a patronising tone and slight head tilt. We bought it at 21 on just my wage as DH was at uni so we were never going to afford anything massive! I was very proud of it but that still got on my nerves!

We get the same when MIL comes to visit -
Why haven't cleaned the gutters? This hasn't been maintained - why are you wasting time doing this -
She criticised literally everything - if we pay out for anything (recently bought a new sofa) she can't understand why we spend money on things - thinks everything should come from the sale section at tip!
Luckily she only comes about 3 times a year and totally can't remember what some things looked like since the last visit! (We got away with replacing all the carpets in the house)

Funny as when we go to hers it's quite messy- she doesn't own a hoover - there clothes and underwear all hanging off the ceiling in living room to dry- kitchen looks more like a garage - can't get to cooker or most of worktop but we always say how lovely it is no matter what!

I would stop telling her it’s so lovely to be honest.

I think it might be in the nature of parents to carp though. My house is actually bigger than my DM's but she still finds fault like there not being any food in (there is, I just tend to buy a couple of days' worth at a time from our varied independent shops rather than do a massive supermarket shop). MIL always comments on the parking restrictions even though she never drives here and it has literally never occurred to me to covet a drive. They have both been making unfavourable comparisons about the weather recently (apparently it's very fresh up North), conveniently forgetting all the many times they have moaned about the grey clouds and rain when it's been warm and sunny here. I just nod and smile.

Ha crossed posts pink. I forgot about the sofas. I finally replaced the sofas we inherited 10 years ago from the owners of our previous flat. Apparently "I'd regret it". The new ones have made such a difference to how spacious our place feels.

Upsey my parents called our house "a nice little house for now, a bit like the one we had in [city name]". They're married to the idea of climbing a housing ladder towards an enormous detached character property "forever home" [boke] - never mind the fact that they finished doing up their prefect family home shortly after their youngest child moved out, and we lived in a building site all our childhoods... That's the aim, apparently. Our 1970s built semi has 4 bedrooms, a usable attic room and a "finished" basement room, there's plenty of space, the kids each have a bedroom and its really low maintenance, and cheap to heat. I've no interest in living in a money pit. Not aspirational enough though, not something you'd have made into a Christmas card

Not read the whole thread....but my cousin lives in a 1 bed flat with 3 kids and her DH. Of course it's too small. I don't say anything because she must know it's small...but I've had to stop myself saying that this overcrowding will have a negative impact on the DC.

Great, well done you for keeping quiet. What if that’s all they can afford?!

Oh my god that post of pearl’s

Could you be more patronising if you tried?! I feel sorry for your children growing up with you tbh.

And obviously I’d like to make it better for them...

Some people are just rude. We have a lovely home, decent size, nice garden, lovely open plan living that suits us and we live within our means.

Yet one friend always, always comments how small it is and how we need more space when she visits. And how we need another bedroom just for guests. And how it's too open plan for her.

It's now at the point where I don't invite them around any more.

Me and DH live in the countryside and in a year I have never seen a fox. When we lived in London we saw them all the time.

We have a 120 foot back garden. Neighbours both sides have children - differing ages (4, 7, 11, 12 and 14). They are rarely in their gardens. Both sides have swings, a slide, climbing frame. One side has a massive trampoline and the other a very large paddling pool. Lovely hot summer, still the gardens are rarely used.

This thread's fantastic. I've just been reading Pearl's pearls out to DH and DS. We are literally sobbing with laughter. Is there any chance that she's Sasha Baron Cohen having a bit of a laugh?

People also make comments the other way

Never had from family, but have had comments from tradesmen that is it really only DH and I in a family-sized house. It's like, yeah, well we hoped to be able to have a family and we bought a house we hoped we'd grow into, but turns out we can't have children, so thanks for that!