AIBU: Dinner Party Host

[BeautifulSlang]

My DH and I invited friend over for dinner last week. My friend is in early stages of pregnancy and her partner was driving so neither were drinking. We provided nibbles, food and dessert along with a few bottles of flavoured sparkling water, whilst we, DH and I, shared a bottle of red. AIBU to be offended that they didn't bring a bottle of wine with them as a thank you? Personally, I'd never go to a dinner party without a bottle (or two) for the host, regardless if I was having a drink or not.

Haha you’re a rock star
My knowledge of wine..hmm. Red,white and sparkling

God I’m glad I don’t have pretentious friends

Actually, some of the Christmas dinner threads are hilarious.

The state some people work themselves up into is mind boggling. I always want to slap them with a chipolata and remind them it's just a family dinner, not lunch at Buckingham Palace.

But it's almost as though some people get high on the stress and misery and that's before you add in the unhealthy dose of martyrdom.

I'd be surprised. It's just basic manners to bring something.

But, I think offended is a bit of a strong reaction. Maybe they just forgot/didn't get to a shop or something.

This is stressful for outsiders. There's not even a clear consensus!

I wouldn't be offended. I'd probably take something if it was me, but wouldn;t bother if someone didn't - generally you invite people, they invite you it all kind of evens out.

I do have an Uncle who will come to stay for weeks on end and never gives any kind of gift, but will take himself down to the pub before I make a meal so 'he can have a drink'. He's obliviously selfish, but more fool us for putting up with him.

It would depend if it was a regular thing or a one-off. If I was the sort to invite people round for dinner then I'd rather not be inundated with wine that I'd never drink, chocolates that I'd regret eating and probably not like many of, or flowers that I'd have to remember to keep watered. Just turn up on time, be nice about the food and sod off again at a decent time

It is usual to bring your hosts a gift if they are feeding you , at the bare minimum a written Thankyou. I don't think you can expect a bottle particularly. One attitude that really irritates me is when guests bring a bottle and then insist on 🥤 bag it. It's no longer a gift in that case is it?

I wouldn’t be offended. I was more offended when my guests brought some wine, we didn’t drink it through the course of the evening ( we had plenty) and they took it home with them! I thought that was rude and cheeky.
If they had asked me to open the bottle I would have.

Come on over, Worra, and please do bring the Arctic Roll! Funnily enough I saw a recipe of how to make one and was half-tempted to give it a go. Luckily, the other, more sensible half of my brain shut down the nonsense immediately... and I didn't.

Arctic Roll... takes me back to says of pink custard.

I actually think it's more grabby to go to someone's house and not bring anything, just eat and drink their stuff.

I never have formal dinner parties, but I guess some are more formal than others, usually it's just friends round, as said though I've never turned up empty handed and I have only ever encountered one couple who did it. I do think it's rude and personally wouldn't go to someone's house without a thank you gift or contribution to the evening.

I love arctic roll! Christmas pudding of choice at my granda’s house! My kids think it’s posh

I actually think it's more grabby to go to someone's house and not bring anything, just eat and drink their stuff.

Of course it is.

I think the best way to determine the perfect wine for each course is to hold a large scale, statistically significant trial.

I’ll host. You lot can bring the

I would have taken wine if it were me. You should always give a gift to someone hosting a dinner party which you are attending whether it be flowers, wine etc.

YABU about the wine but not about the lack of host gift. So stop inviting her over! Takers can't take if you don't let them.

I was always told not to turn up empty handed. Tonight we’re going to a friend’s house for dinner. I’m taking booze, flowers, chocolates. They’re hosting 6 of us, so I figure that’ll cost a few quid, only nice to give a gift.

Yes, you are totally BU.

Did you only invite them for the wine they would bring?

Amazing.

Between good friends it wouldn't bother me, in the circumstances you describe, that they hadn't brought wine or another gift.

However, it appears your friends are CFs if they are all take so I would just stop inviting them to dinner. Your opinion of them doesn't imply they are best friends.

I only have friends come to dinner with me so perhaps it's different with faux-formal arrangements?

Different strokes for different folks. Don't lob the first stone and none will follow.

I think they're mean and rude. I don't drink, so I usually take a bottle or two of fancy fizzy drink. Obviously I share it with whoever else wants some as well as drinking some myself.

I often take a bottle of wine or prosecco too, because we've usually got some in the cupboard left over from some previous occasion. I wouldn't consider it essential though, as long as I take something.

we’re going to a friend’s house for dinner.I’m taking booze, flowers, chocolates
Why?thats seems terribly ostentatious and overdone. Take 1 but not all 3

Yanbu.
I would always take a gift of some kind to a sit down meal. It's rude not to.

Even if they weren't drinking, they shouldn't have turned up empty handed. You called it a "dinner party" though - perhaps they had underestimated the affair?

I don't drink, so wouldn't take wine if I was invited for dinner. I would take flowers, chocolate or nice biscuits though.

There's no point taking something I can't enjoy!