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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My DD's favourite game and thing to do with me is the game I detest! AIBU to not play it with her when she is an only child..

113 replies

PeppyPiggy · 09/08/2018 11:52

My DD's an only child, turning 3 in October.

Her favourite game and thing to do, for a long time now, is to take her toys and say "mummy make them talk", I then make the toys into characters with little voices. It's very sweet and I understand why she loves to play this game the most. I am a very introverted personality type (INFP) anyone who understands introversion properly will understand why I can't play a game like that all day :( ..It drains me and I find it really hard work. My brother is also very introverted, he is great with my DD and chatting with her, He is super creative and smart! He went to Cambridge and yet he even can't hack more than ten minutes of the "make the toys talk game" It's incredibly draining for us. I will always try to introduce something new, reading, building, art ..But DD knows what she wants.

AIBU to play DD's game for a limited time of ten mins and then say enough? The game is clearly a good one for development and makes her happy and I hate that I get so drained by it.. Wish she had siblings

OP posts:
Strawberrybelly · 09/08/2018 11:54

My Dd loves that too and doing it makes me lose the will to live. 10 minutes is fine, I wouldn't do any more than that. I just say to mine you play now mummy has to go and do x. She sometimes creates a bit but I'm not doing that all day.

WorraLiberty · 09/08/2018 11:54

10 minutes isn't long really. I'd give it half an hour and then think of another game.

Something you might need to consider though is whether you're happy for your 'INFP' to rub off on your child?

Does she have any friends her own age? Maybe arrange to have them come round to play.

Kokeshi123 · 09/08/2018 11:59

Oh God, I hate this one.

Especially when you DO make the stupid toy talk and then your kid howls that you are DOING IT WRONG and that you need to make them say/do something else etc. etc. ....

Can you put her in nursery for some of the time?

MatildaTheCat · 09/08/2018 12:00

10minutes is fine since you aren’t popping her into a box and ignoring her for the rest of the day. Can you encourage her to do the voices and give her lots of positive feedback? Another one to try is to do it together and act out a simple story she knows usingbsoft toys. That way you don’t need to use much imagination and you can give her the lead roles.

Keep that game a a treat so 10 minutes before bed or some such.

SaucyJack · 09/08/2018 12:04

Does she have plenty of opportunity to play with kids her own age? If she does, I don’t think you need to feel bad.

I don’t mind the odd 5 mins here or there either, but I’m very clear with my youngest that I’m not going to play with her toys for her all day.

I’m 37. She’s 4. If she wants Marshall to slide down the lookout tower and save Chase- she can bleddy well do it herself.

wafflyversatile · 09/08/2018 12:06

YANBU for finding a child's game draining. That's pretty normal. It would be more surprising if you didn't.

YABU for labelling yourself INFP or whatever and hanging it on that.

MsOliphant · 09/08/2018 12:11

I thought most adults found those games incredibly tedious and draining. It's not necessarily due to a personality type!!

I'm a nanny and I get paid handsomely to do this sort of thing. But I still hate it so it has a time limit.

WorraLiberty · 09/08/2018 12:14

I thought most adults found those games incredibly tedious and draining. It's not necessarily due to a personality type!!

Exactly. I don't know many adults who would instigate that sort of game willingly.

AjasLipstick · 09/08/2018 12:22

I'm like you OP and struggled with that sort of thing. Especially with my youngest (now ten) because she's very extroverted and thrives on interaction.

We still have characters that we "do" and which I don't mind as much because I don't have to talk through a bear!

I invented, some years ago when DD was about 5, a terrible little girl who lives down the street and who is obsessed with playing with DD.

This character would appear at the most unexpected moments...so DD would be playing in the shed outside and I'd pop up at the window demanding to play with her. Or I'd jump out from behind a bush and say "Hooray! It;s YOU!"

This little girl can't say "S" and replaces it with "F" so sausages becomes faufages. Hmm Makes it all the harder and more exhausting to act her!

Now...FIVE years down the bloody line, the child still exists and DD is TEN but still makes me "do" her.

InfiniteVariety · 09/08/2018 12:25

I'll go against the flow here and say I used to love playing this and other make-believe or play-acting games with my DDs (all in their 20s now) but what I discovered was that after a while they did it without me - so you have that to look forward to! So regard your current involvement as an investment in showing them how to do it without you!! Grin

Butterymuffin · 09/08/2018 12:28

I can see why you've had enough after 10 minutes but could you steel yourself to do a 10 minute session more than once a day? That way DD gets several goes at her favourite thing but you don't have to endure it for too long.

wendz86 · 09/08/2018 12:29

I used to hate that with my eldest , she was an only child till 4. Definitely not unreasonable to only play it for 10 mins.

Pressuredrip · 09/08/2018 12:30

My first and second have a 6 year gap, and I also hated this. I refused to do it in the end, I decided it was better for my mental health. I did learn to invite friends round regularly instead.

Whipsmart · 09/08/2018 12:34

NOBODY could play a game like that all day, it has nothing to do with introversion or personality types! (Even the most attention-seeking thespian would find it draining after half an hour, because it IS tedious as fuck Grin)

jaseyraex · 09/08/2018 12:38

Are you encouraging her to make up her own voices and stories as well? My DS always wanted me to do it but he generally does it on his own now, occasionally asking me or DH to join in.

PolkaHots · 09/08/2018 12:39

Ten minutes is more than enough playing any 2 year old game, and I am an extrovert (ENTP). Just find it boring as fuck.

You don’t need to dress it up with the introvert thing, you are allowed to just say you dislike it. It comes across as though you fear being judged as a parent for not enjoying this game so feel the need to dress it up in quasi medical reasons. Feeling ‘drained’ is the same as being bored, yes?

Do you have a partner who judges you for th

GoblinSharts · 09/08/2018 12:39

You have my sympathy. Mine is 3 and I have to sit with teddies having a sodding picnic and drinking endless fake cups of tea. She also repeats herself CONSTANTLY.

“Mummy look! A dog!”
“Yes isn’t he lovely”
“LOOK a dog”
“Yes dogs say woof woof”
“Mummy! A dog!”
“Yes please stop repeating yourself! I have acknowledged there is a bloody dog! Get over it!” Wink

Winterbella · 09/08/2018 12:41

The thing though is she likes it its a harmless game, just play with her she'll soon be on to something else.

prunemerealgood · 09/08/2018 12:42

Wow, this is something I always felt guilty about because I was shit at it when DC small so used to refuse and find something else to do.

I always thought other parents were gaily acting their way through all sorts of toy dramas, it's nice to know I was wrong!

Rainatnight · 09/08/2018 12:44

YANBU to find it tedious, but you sound precious in that particular way introverts have a knack for.

Being down the mines - draining.
Working standing up at a checkout till all day - quite draining
Doing voices for more than ten minutes - my guess is you'll live.

FoofFighter · 09/08/2018 12:45

You are not alone OP. I detest taking part in this kind of play and jigsaws they can go FOTTFSOFAFOSM

MrsJayy · 09/08/2018 12:47

Nobody really wants to play like this for any length of time it is very dull you put a long explanation on something that is totally normal don't overthink it. I would suggest saying yes we will play the game for a little while and move on.

MsOliphant · 09/08/2018 12:49

I don't think the fact that your brother has an Oxbridge education means he'd be any better equipped to play these games, either Confused I don't get why that would be relevant at all.

MrsPreston11 · 09/08/2018 12:49

*YANBU to find it tedious, but you sound precious in that particular way introverts have a knack for.

Being down the mines - draining.
Working standing up at a checkout till all day - quite draining
Doing voices for more than ten minutes - my guess is you'll live.*

I completely expect you to get flamed for this @Rainatnight

But I 100% agree!

M3lon · 09/08/2018 12:49

do you want to hear the bad news? My DD still wants to play this with me all the time and she is now 7.

She will play on her own as well, but its so much better if I'm doing it too apparently....not for me so much though.