Share passive aggressive comments you've received from your MIL

[oxymomon]

My MIL is a cow to me. But she is also cunning enough to be able to veil her comments so they go over the head of my husband and father in law. E.g. when I put on weight recently and she kept saying "you look healthy". I knew it was a dig but I couldn't say anything. I said it to my husband after and he thought she was just being nice.

I thought it would be helpful to hear what other passive aggressive comments others have received from your in-laws. But feel free to just share any out and out insults too. I'd also love to hear your responses, or do you all just grin and bear the comments?

I'll finish with one of her worst: when we first got engaged, she said "I was glad you didn't put it in the paper in case it doesn't work out"...

After we split because her son assaulted me: 'I've told him at least now he can move on and sort his life out'.
That comment hit hard.

They have all moved on. 6 months down the line and no one has asked to see DS.

Someone mentioned passive aggressive gifts which reminded me of a boyfriend I had in my 20s with whose parents (very prim & stern, dad was a vicar) I once spent Christmas. Mrs. Vicar's Christmas present to me was the most hideously ugly slip/petticoat thing of a style only worn by a woman in that era well into middle age (and probably no one now!) Clearly the passive aggressive intention was that I should be as unsexy as possible and stop corrupting her precious son with my sluttish harlot clothing

Someone mentioned PA gifts.

My ex once invited me to her parents for christmas, we had only been dating for about a year but had moved in together.

They opened all of their presents without waking me and when I came downstairs at about 8am (I didn't slepp in late) they had a small pile of presents for me. I didn't expect it and felt quite taken aback.

The presents included a top about 3 sizes too small for me, a brush for washing dishes and some kitchen scourers.

She never liked me

I’m engaged. My OH’s parents constantly talk about the EW when i’m with them.

This is the women who stopped their son seeing his own children and won’t let the grandkids speak to them.

I’ve removed myself from them. His dad is the biggest know it all and has been there, done it (better than you). His mum is the biggest moaner I have ever met and can suck the life out of you within seconds.

I now decline all invites and let them get on with it.

Not mil (she’s lovely!) but fil.

He’s in a mood with me (too long to get into)

Saw him making a passive aggressive comment on a friends fb last night, basically calling me a moose

Okayyyy then, dickhead. 🖕🏻

summermeadows my MIL was gutted I had 4 boys ...which is her prerogative but she couldn’t understand why I wasn’t disappointed. And still can’t!

We had identical twins first, both boys ...one sadly deceased at birth, and she STILL goes on about the disappointment of not having a girl. Each subsequent child she’s literally said “what a disappointment.”

She even projected it onto my mum: “aren’t you disappointed you’ll never know what it’s like to have a girl?” My Mum: “Er no....I have a daughter.....”

metoodear and er......who are “your people?”

When I was about six months pregnant and out for a family Mother's Day meal:

"XXXXX" (her DS) will make a far better father than "she" will make a mother, but she'll make a better mother than she has made a wife"

Fast forward 20 years - I am, and always have been a loving and caring mother and wife, she now claims that I am the daughter she never had and loves me so much, and can't do enough for me, but it's still all stored up there along with all of the other vile stuff, (and she claims she can't remember ever saying it, even when challenged during a row with my hubby years later

My MIL is usually quite lovely, never criticises what I wear or what my house looks like etc.

But I have had a couple.

When I started putting on weight she just put her hand on my stomach and said "are you?". I cried in the car on the way home

We named DD an unusual but not made up name (it is suggested a lot on the name threads), which she clearly disapproves of (all of her family have very normal or traditional names). For the first 6 months she called her the wrong name. E.g she would say Claire rather than Clara

on announcing our first pregnancy: "Well, I hope you're not expecting us to babysit?" PILs have lived up to that for the last 22 years.

After a long relationship - 12 years including buying our 'family' home - MIL told everyone on the street and cousins, uncles etc on his side that she sat us down to 'ask if we were sure' ...... also said the same to my DM - conversation never took place hence of course my DM fabricated it

First 24 hrs home from hospital with DD, and a c section (and I'm shit at operations so was in bits) - she told me that DH was tired and needed his rest since I had a little holiday in hospital

Tells me constantly I need to make sacrifices and when challenged, pretends she never said it - she means I need to give up work to support DH following his dream job 60 hrs a week.....

Pretends not to hear me when I ask her to hand infant daughter over and oh last week pretended not to hear visitors to my house say hello to her....

Told a good friend that her DH was immature/irresponsible and queried why they got married

I could literally write a book - and then some days she's really nice and in great form but her favourite hobby is commenting on people

pinkie1982 hugs, that's a hard one

Amongst the pettiness and misspeaking, the downright cruelty of some stories on here is sobering isn't it.

Have another one my husbands grandfathers wife does all the Christmas present shopping I've been with him for about 3 years now one year they gave all these nice made up gift baskets to all of grandfathers grand daughters in it was a nice handbag, body wash, hair straightener, chocolates. I thought that was a generous gift to them when she came to me she gave me a wrapped up Christmae Magazine from the year before 😖
His wife is notorious for regifting people things as well sometimes with someone elses name on it like "Dear Grandfather & Wife merry xmas from xxx" the nerve haha

@Itsanothernamechange I have absolutely no words

I’ve been single for a long time so not had to worry about inlaws but these threads always terrify me! I try to comfort myself by thinking that it’s only the bad inlaws that get threads because the nice ones aren’t interesting. My sister and my friends all have lovely inlaws and my parents both got on famously with their MILs - my dad’s DM told my mum that if they ever split up, my mum could go and live with her! And my gran would have said the same to my dad, they adored their children in law and loved them as much as their actual children. So just a bit of hope for anyone like me who gets nervous reading these threads and thinking of the future.
And just so I can contribute a story, thankfully I didn’t actually know about this until a few years later or I would have been really upset but when I was fifteen I went to meet my boyfriend’s parents for the the first time and I walked off, his dad said “well she’s a big lass!”

My SIL (DH's sister) at mine and DH's wedding, as I sat with DH, his DB and Wife

SIL- Can we have a family photo?
Men get up and other SIL move to follow
SIL- you 2 can just wait here...

This woman is the queen of PA!
She bought a dress to match the bridesmaids dresses at our wedding and asked what I thought so I told her, it matches the bridesmaids and she said
"Oh, but mum says it looks lovely on me and (other SIL) doesn't think it's a problem"
(Hint, if you don't want the bride's opinion, don't ask for it!)

Every year on DH's birthday she MUST see him on the day to give him her gift as it's "very important to see the person on their day to hand the gift over" yet on my birthday she dropped my present off at her mum's for us to collect... yet she hadn't told us it was there, MIL did. SIL lives 10 mins away, MiL lives in the next street...

My ex mother in law was actually quite nice bar a couple of comments

the first was made when i gave birth 11 weeks prematurely to twins and she was in the corridor waiting, as i was giving birth to the second twin my daughter was placed in the incubator in the corridor before i had even seen her. they were then both taken to the scbu and i was wheeled down to meet them later in the evening. I got to introduce them the following day to both sets of grandparents. a number of years later she told me she had seen my babies before i had seen them in the corridor.

When my ex cheated on me a couple of months after the birth she said well you must have done something to make him cheat... she also deliberately went to the pub to eat where the woman worked.surprisingly i stayed with him for 12 years.

The last comment she made was when we were on the verge of splitting up and she told me he didnt love me. That was the kick i needed to leave though even though he told me he did.

my current SIL said that on my wedding day my husband started crying when he saw HER walk down the aisle.

She also recently attended my birthday party despite last minute telling me she wasnt coming then shared my picture which i sent the family whatsapp group of me and her mum on social media saying doesnt my mum look beautiful whilst ignoring me. Now i dont think i look beautiful but it felt a bit deliberate.

I am no longer on the whatsapp group.

There is so much more but i have distanced myself now.

This thread is on Daily Mail now