Bride changing surname 1 week before wedding?

[Ambs81]

I spotted this week that my future SIL has already updated her social media profiles to her married surname 9 days before their wedding.
I guess she's excited but it just seems strange, surely people will be presuming she's married now?
I left it a couple of weeks, and had updated bank etc before I did facebook.
AIBU to think she's acting like a bunny boiler?

Somebody jealous of the attention?

Just read your other thread OP about not forgiving your sil for an affair she had. Is this the same sil? If so, I can understand why you’re disproportionately bothered by this, but in terms of her changing her fb name, yes, yabu. She can change it to whatever she likes.

God love her, you’re always going to fund fault, if you really just thought it a bit odd you wouldn’t be posting in here and endlessly defending your stance, you’d have raised a eyebrow and promptly moved on with your day. She’s not going to do anything right is she, she’ll announce a pregnancy ‘wrong’ annoy you over Christmas attangements and generally pies you off... let it go op, your brother loves her and is committing to spending his life with her. She’s part of your family like it or not

It's interesting that everyone has assumed this is the woman marrying your brother and you're pissed off she's going to have "your" name - as we could have been talking abut the woman marrying your D's brother. The fact you haven't corrected the assumption implies that they guessed right! Was the other family membed saying it was "odd" your mum by any chance?

But but but but - your other thread about her! This about the name is the biggest red herring in the history of herrings, right?

Link to other thread please onalongsabbatical so perhaps we can see what the real issue is here

If it’s the SIL she’s talking about on the other thread then it’s actually her DH’s brother’s partner.

Feel honoured that she can't wait to bear your [original] family name, and is that excited to be your brother's wife - not everyone does it you know?
You do sound harsh, not the kind of SIL she should treasure.

InfiniteVariety www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3252689-AIBU-to-not-forgive-SIL-affair?msgid=77957165

Whad'ya think?

OP actually uses the sentence "I think I'm overinvested" so yes, all clearly relevant

I don't think the grief that you've got on the thread is because people think it's a usual thing to do. It isn't and yeah it's a bit odd. But you've got grief because your tone so was so sneery and bitchy. You clearly don't like the girl. Own it instead of coming up with stupid reasons as to why she's beneath you.

It's not the same SIL as that wedding was end of July (last page) and the debate was whether to attend (no mention of doing the flowers).
It can't be her brother as he's not divorced from first wife - or there's more than one brother.

But you've got grief because your tone so was so sneery and bitchy

Exactly this. In all honesty, if someone I know did this I’d probably raise an eyebrow as it’s not usual. However the tone of your post was awful. It’s blatantly obvious you despise her and are coming up with things to slag her off for. That’s why you got a hard time.

I agree that it's a little premature, but I wouldn't think it was a big deal, just that she was really excited about her forthcoming wedding.

I got a Christmas card from some friends and the name of their unborn child once - sounds a bit similar! But I smiled at their excitement rather than sneering at their etiquette.

Ambs81

Bunny boiler
noun

informal

a woman who acts vengefully after having been spurned by her lover.

Definition^^ in case you didnt know!

Your future sil is probably excited, nothing wrong with that.

Agree with PP you're upset that she's getting the name you gave up. It's ok to feel jealous and resentful. It's NOT ok to be nasty about the seemingly innocent because you regret your life choices.

I agree with pp’s, it’s not that we wouldn’t all raise an eyebrow and think “that’s a bit previous” (as we say in Scotland).

It’s just that the rest of us would then think “bless, she’s a bit excited” and then go on with our day.

We would not pen a fairly vicious thread about it on MN.

Well that link puts it into a different perspective if you are talking about the same woman

To change your name with HMRC and most other government and child benefit related stuff, all you have to do is log into your government gateway account and change your name. It takes 10 minutes, they sent out new documents within the week, and in the years since I've done it (I changed my entire name, happily gave up my birth name), I have never once been asked for paperwork or any other evidence though I do have a statutory declaration which I needed for the US embassy.

So yeah, you call yourself anything anywhere anytime and even have it legally recognized, as long as it doesn't break the law on maliciousness or fraud. That's how people change their name to Bacon Double Cheeseburger. Facebook can even be more picky at times if your name flags up their fake name radar, I know a few people who have had trouble with that.

It's a bit odd to change your name early (though I used my current name for a few years before I legally changed it, even on Facebook), but nothing I'd put energy into. Reads like it is time to unclench and consider adding your birth surname as a middle name if it means so much to you.

"I think it reeks of immaturity and insecurity."

And you reek of jealousy and insecurity.
Whats wrong? Is she too pretty? More successful than you? Wedding more extravagant than yours? Is she the centre of attention?

Something has to be behind your nastiness...

@Jackieyoulooknice

No to all of the above, thanks!

With the exception of her being centre of attention - which is obvious as she is the bride!

I obviously am not saying this sort of thing to her - I wouldn't mention it!

I think it is insecure to need to share with others you new married name before you're newly married.

And I think its really immature. If I found out she had gone and changed her passport or something I wouldn't think it was weird, as thats practical, but i KNOW she has done this purely for the benefit of social media status, and i question why she'd do this.

BTW I am one of 9 siblings, but husband is one of 5 so I have a lot on in laws that i get on well with, and have a happy family life, People on this thread (like yourself) are making me out to be an a**ehole for having an opinion.

It not like i saw it and rang her and questioned her about it, i saw it and shrugged and thought 'weird', but as i've seen her update more and more (like she's already changed her career status to 'wife'), I know thinking it is very odd, pretty immature and makes me think she must be quite insecure.

The OP is getting crazy amounts of flak here. Come on, it is a bit premature!

That's fine, you are entitled to an opinion. We're all entitled to disagree with you. In my opinion you sound utterly horrible. I do hope that in real life you aren't this nasty to her.

Although now you've said it makes her 'immature' again .... I wonder if you're just being goady...

I obviously am not saying this sort of thing to her - I wouldn't mention it!

Well let’s hope that neither she nor any of her close friends or family nor any of your eight siblings nor any of your husband's five siblings are on Mumsnet then, because you have given a lot of very outing information here.