Bride changing surname 1 week before wedding?

[Ambs81]

I spotted this week that my future SIL has already updated her social media profiles to her married surname 9 days before their wedding.
I guess she's excited but it just seems strange, surely people will be presuming she's married now?
I left it a couple of weeks, and had updated bank etc before I did facebook.
AIBU to think she's acting like a bunny boiler?

You’ll feel happier if you concentrate more on your own life and less time judging others. However I think that’s something that many (most?) people take time and a bit of life experience to realise. I wish I’d learned it sooner.

@WeirdCatLady

Well I thought people might either say I've done that - its common

(maybe i'm just a bit old school)

Or seems a bit nuts.

No one does it, because its weird, yet doesn't want to be critical of a random stranger for doing it because its not cool to admit, like everyone, we (even subconsciously) judge people for what they post on facebook.

I think updated you're name 9 day before is like opening a christmas present on the 21st December.

Sure do what you like - but sometimes people have these little tradions and customs because it keeps events special and meaningful.

If yu are having a traditional church wedding, you take your new name when you sign that register with your husband.

I feel really sorry for her having you as a sil.

OP, you are not covering yourself in glory here.

The best thing you can really do at this point is to accept that everyone thinks you're being mean, and go away and think about what your true motives for starting this thread were.

Try and work through whatever your issue is before the wedding, so that when the big day comes you can be there for your brother and new SIL, don't do anything to take the shine off their special day, and welcome her into your family with a good grace.

I can't believe in 2018 a women would be so desperate to be seen as married by social media networks of friends and family they'd preemptively make that update.

Surely, in 2018, women are entitled to do what they like without fear of hostile judgment...

OP still hasn't denied that the she doesn't like future SIL

I hope she doesn't find this post, won't make for a great ongoing relationship...

And like you say, it's unusual so she will probably know it's about her.

Live and let live as they say.

I changed my FB name back to my maiden name way before my divorce came through. I did it when I was ready to go more public about the separation.

sometimes people have these little traditions and customs because it keeps events special and meaningful

It's Facebook and Twitter.

You make them sound so sacred - Maybe she doesn't share that, rather odd, reverence to social media.

Meh. I'm with the Op.

Hate married name changes
Hate Facebook announcements
Agree that the wedding hasn't even happened so it's just stupid.

And posting for people to read means it's up for discussion. Otherwise you'd keep it to yourself.It doesn't make you " over invested".

If it were my SIL I’d be thrilled she’s so excited about marrying my brother. You sound horrible.

If yu are having a traditional church wedding, you take your new name when you sign that register with your husband.

Or you don't take it at all, or you both double barrel, or you deed polled your name years ago because you wanted you and the kids to all have the same name. All possibilities for people having a traditional church wedding. Plus, don't you sign the register in your own name anyway? I dunno cos I never did it, as I'm not weird enough to change my name when I didn't want to.

Also, if you need to change your name on or after your wedding day to make it meaningful and special, you're doing it wrong.

We know someone who did that.
Personally I don't see the need nor would I have done it myself, but each to their own.

Sure do what you like - but sometimes people have these little tradions and customs because it keeps events special and meaningful.

Oh that age old tradition of Facebook name updating (up there with throwing the bouquet)

I actually updated my professional profile week before starting the job 😂

No idea why it bothers you so much. Its her FB, it's her name and it's her wedding.
Poor soul with SIL like you 🙄

I think it is a bit weird to change your name on Facebook nine days before the wedding.

Put the spade down and step away from the hole OP

Minge how is changing your name after marriage weird?

To change bank account you need to show a marriage cert and bill in new name, its pretty hard to organise - the culture certainly isn't 'call yourself what you like when you like'

Culture certainly is - like I said, for official purposes like passport or bank accounts, you might need a deed poll (which you can just print off the internet) or in this case, marriage certificate, or a statutory declaration) - see here:

www.gov.uk/id-for-driving-licence
www.gov.uk/changing-passport-information/names-dont-match-official-documents

Honestly, it's a pain in the arse, but it's not difficult and day to day you can call yourself anything you like - hence all the Kate/Catherine, Beth/Elizabeth, Jon/Jonathans, all the people who have separate professional and married names. Other countries are very strict about name changes, we are almost completely free to do what we want.

We certainly don't require a marriage certificate to change your name on social media ffs.

Do you like your sil to be?

If an engaged friend asked you 'when is the best time to update your work email address, facebook profile, instagram name to their new married name'

no one would ever reply 'do it a week before', because its weird

I think you're response is a bit disproportionate.

Yep, my response is definitely disproportionate. That's according to the woman who has taken to the internet to label her brother's fiance an immature, insecure psychopath over a facebook name change

Come on, OP, just admit that you can't stand her and anything she does pre-wedding will be ammunition to slate her.

@anothernameagain000

would you throw your bouquet a week before the wedding?

You sound like the one who's obsessed. Is she stealing your brother and your name op? You are coming across as deeply unpleasant

KennDodd, I feel more sorry for the children having this for a mother. At least the SIL can keep her distance.