Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this period shaming?

142 replies

Liesdamnlies40 · 08/08/2018 10:04

I flushed a tampon down the loo but didn’t realise it hadn’t flushed away (I normally put them in the bin in little bags & get rid).
Partner came into room and told me that at the age of 44 I should know better and made me feel upset as he has seen it. I feel so embarrassed.
Aibu to feel upset? I don’t need to e bloody told off for my period.

OP posts:
SpaceDinosaur · 08/08/2018 10:05

YABU for flushing tampons. Tampons should not be flushed they should be wrapped and binned.

honeysucklejasmine · 08/08/2018 10:06

Why did you try to flush it?

Was he telling you off for flushing? Or for the fact it didn't flush properly?

Original poster
Liesdamnlies40 · 08/08/2018 10:06

It was an accidental flush as I said. I normally put them in the bin.

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 08/08/2018 10:06

He's being pathetic flush it ffs. The way the rest of us do when we notice stuff hasn't flushed properly.

JacquesHammer · 08/08/2018 10:06

It’s not period shaming.

Your partner is quite right, tampons should never be flushed.

Why would you be embarrassed he’s seen it?

Rainbowmelon · 08/08/2018 10:06

Period shaming?!? Hmm

BertrandRussell · 08/08/2018 10:06

Is this your life partner? If so he is a arse.

Work partner? Still an arse but less so.

Jellycatspyjamas · 08/08/2018 10:06

At the age of 44 you should know better than to flush sanpro. Not sure why you feel embarrassed tbh, you didn’t leave the toilet clean and your partner told you about it. I’d do the same if my DH left skid marks in the loo.

60sname · 08/08/2018 10:07

Yanbu to think that your partner should behave like an adult.

Yabu to use the phrase ' period shaming '.

WorraLiberty · 08/08/2018 10:07

He sounds like a drama queen and I'm not sure what your age has to do with anything?

Were you in a hurry? I tend to look at the loo once I've flushed it, just to check it doesn't need another one but it should be no big deal in your own home.

MsJaneAusten · 08/08/2018 10:07

Well no, you shouldn’t have flushed it, but what is the problem with him seeing a tampon?

NoelHeadbands · 08/08/2018 10:08

Well it doesn’t sound like he was period shaming, just not happy about it being flushed down the loo.

MarthasGinYard · 08/08/2018 10:08

'Period shaming'

Wtf is that Hmm

AjasLipstick · 08/08/2018 10:08

Was he upset at the flushing though? Or at the sight of a used tampon?

If it was that the mere SIGHT of it upset his delicate sensibilities then yes...it was period shaming and he's a cock.

If it was that he thought "WHy the hell is she flushing that down there!""

Then YABU

Original poster
Liesdamnlies40 · 08/08/2018 10:09

I was in a hurry - it was a mistake. I just don’t need to be told off and made to feel like a twat. He made me feel like I was disgusting because there was blood in the loo.

OP posts:
Anxious2niteaaah · 08/08/2018 10:10

If you normally put them in bags and in the bin then why would you try and flush that particular tampon?..you do know they clog up the sewers?..

I can understand your partners reaction , I mean who wants to go in to the bathroom to use the toilet to be faced with someone bloody tampon floating in the water, and I'm guessing he had to fish it out and throw it away (which is disgusting and he shouldn't have to do)

Yabu to feel upset as you caused the situation, if you had a bit better period hygiene by throwing your tampon away none of this would have happened

fanomoninon · 08/08/2018 10:10

Was he annoyed you'd flushed it rather than disposing sensibly (fair enough) or annoyed about seeing a used sanpro (pretty pathetic in a life partner, imo)?

2up2manydown · 08/08/2018 10:10

Why can’t he look at a tampon? Presumably the blood had been mostly flushed out of it so he was looking at a bit of cotton wool?

He’s an idiot. But you’re being pretty pathetic for feeling embarrassed or upset. He’d have got a big eye roll from me.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 08/08/2018 10:11

I'd mention it if a friend flushed a tampon down my toilet - not because I'd seen it; it's nothing I haven't seen before, but because I don't want a blocked toilet and flushing tampons isn't the done thing.

Are you embarrassed that he saw it? I noticed yesterday that I'm being oddly coy this period - making sure DP doesn't see anything period related and it impacts on him as little as possible - and I'm not sure why. He's not bothered; he's a good man. If you're feeling the same at the moment, it'd be easy to interpret this as period shaming when he's just upset that you flushed a tampon.

NettleTea · 08/08/2018 10:11

was it the flushing that was the issue (in which case YABU) or is it that he was upset by having to look at blood
in which cas he is BVVU

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 08/08/2018 10:12

Oh enough with the whatever shaming. Why is it that if anyone says anything negative to anybody at all it's whatever shaming.

Christ on a bike.

(* use applicable word)

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 08/08/2018 10:15

Period shaming?!
Don't flush tampons down the loo, ever OP.

Jellycatspyjamas · 08/08/2018 10:21

I don’t see that challenging you for not leaving the toilet clean is shaming in any way - I’d probably smile and nod tbh.

chocolateaddicted · 08/08/2018 10:21

I never knew you couldn't flush tampons down the toilet and always wondered what people did with them (I've never used them).

I empty my cup into the toilet and have been in a rush and not double checked there's not some left in there. Worst that's happened is my DH has exclaimed "WTF?! How are women not dead from periods?!" I explained how it wasn't that much and he still looked shocked. He made me a cup of tea and brought me a cake to help 😆 not sure what that helped.

OP I think maybe he was more concerned, from the sounds of other posters, that you were putting it in the toilet when it's bad for the environment.

WorraLiberty · 08/08/2018 10:21

Milk, stop bike shaming.