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AIBU?

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Original poster

to feel car driving is frequently unjustified

999 replies

Clairetree1 · 08/08/2018 09:18

Having sat in a traffic jam yesterday, in which I counted 10 buses being held up by around 45 cars, many of which only had one person in.

So say 60 people in cars holding up 600 people in buses....

just as a snapshot, throughout the whole journey, each person in a car seems to hold up 10 people in a bus, and if the cars were not there, those car travelers could easily fit on the buses, and everyone would be moving at least 3x as fast,

and I can't really see how this is allowed, or can be justified.

If you are in a city, or in another area with an adequate bus route, and are physically able to use the bus, how do you justify to yourself the danger, inconvenience and lethal pollution you subject everyone else to? Not to mention the further damage to the environment caused by concreting over parking spaces, car manufacture, etc.

I know some people are going to say they need the time, but if cars were banned from our cities and more people on public transport, everyone would be moving faster.

I know some people are going to say they are disabled, or have too much to carry, but some people who are disabled or have a lot to carry do use buses, they often have no choice! it doesn't automatically preclude you.

I know some people are just going to say they have a right to, but really, do you? Pollution is killing thousands of people a year in the UK, not to mention those killed in car crashes, the environmental damage done including global warming, and the sheer inconvenience to everybody else.

I know a couple of cities are planning on banning private cars, and I know petrol cars are on their way out, so things might well improve, but I just don't understand how we reached this position in the first place, so much death and destruction and time taken away by an entitled privileged few with such a selfish habit I can't understand how they justify to themselves.

I don't expect many people to agree with me, I think this privilege is so deeply ingrained in our culture that people genuinely feel they have a right to drive cars, when perfectly adequate public transport exist.

I don't think there is any moral right at all though, I think it is morally wrong in every way

OP posts:
MrSpock · 08/08/2018 22:53

I wouldn’t work if I didn’t have to. I don’t find it rewarding or fulfilling, compared to managing my house and looking after DS. I appreciate not everyone feels the same but it’s a shame the choice has been lost and SAHP are not valued.

MrSpock · 08/08/2018 22:54

It is. Very much so. I’ve also done a significant amount of research into women and careers so you’ve touched a particular sore point with your latest comments.

It’s not just women. I don’t think it matters which parent stays home.

Feedthemachine1 · 08/08/2018 22:58

if everyone thought and acted the same this world would be very boring it should always be down to the individual how they live their life and what the consequences are . not what others dictate to them . i am probably a lot different to most people on here (im male for a start).
every decision should be whats best for your own life . if you want to dictate or be dictated to how you live try a communist country and leave us to try and keep our heads above water and do what we think is right.for us,
sorry for the rant!.
transport in this day and age is now a neccessity for most people ,and a car is what most people need and for a lot its cheaper than other options its just how it is until someone comes up with a better idea.

Nicknacky · 08/08/2018 22:58

MrsSpock Do you think one parent should be home?

KoolAidPickle · 08/08/2018 22:59

but it’s a shame the choice has been lost and SAHP are not valued

How has the choice been lost when millions choose to be SAHP? And speak for yourself if you don't value that choice. Others do

MrSpock · 08/08/2018 22:59

Do you think one parent should be home?

I think they should have the choice. I don’t think it works for everyone so not in every case.

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 08/08/2018 22:59

You've missed the point. I never said that. However, my research is on women and careers and the choices being made

Nicknacky · 08/08/2018 23:00

Many people do have the choice. They choose not to.

MrSpock · 08/08/2018 23:00

How has the choice been lost when millions choose to be SAHP? And speak for yourself if you don't value that choice. Others do

Because one wage used to be able to support a family of five and it’s now quite hard to do that without a prestigious job. So financially a lot of people are forced to.

MrSpock · 08/08/2018 23:01

You've missed the point. I never said that. However, my research is on women and careers and the choices being made

That sounds interesting, I’d be curious to know more about it.

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 08/08/2018 23:03

Generally speaking, women now have more freedom of choice than ever before. To say women don't have choices is incorrect.

KoolAidPickle · 08/08/2018 23:03

Because one wage used to be able to support a family of five and it’s now quite hard to do that without a prestigious job. So financially a lot of people are forced to

Lots of people do it without prestigious jobs. In fact some people have to be SAHM because they can't afford to work.

Cl0udsandtr33s · 08/08/2018 23:06

I haven't read all the pages. Has anyone taken into account social change and time. Not so long ago, only a few people could afford cars. Other family members walked, cycled, moped or public transport to local schools, libraries, local small shops, amenities. Now instead of small local shops, it's big out of town shopping centres, internet shopping. Shops used to close Wednesday afternoons and open Saturday. All shops were closed on Sundays. Children played in the streets. I'm not saying that we should go back to that era, but the number of cars has increased and traffic has increased

MrSpock · 08/08/2018 23:06

Generally speaking, women now have more freedom of choice than ever before. To say women don't have choices is incorrect.

They have the choice if they choose the status quo. We have the freedom to be doctors and teachers and lawyers but do we have the freedom to be SAHP, or less prestigious jobs? It’s still looked down upon.

Lots of people do it without prestigious jobs. In fact some people have to be SAHM because they can't afford to work.

That’s only in the early years regarding childcare.

KoolAidPickle · 08/08/2018 23:07

e have the freedom to be doctors and teachers and lawyers but do we have the freedom to be SAHP, or less prestigious jobs? It’s still looked down upon

Of course we have that freedom. You describe most of us. What are you even talking about?

hungryhippo90 · 08/08/2018 23:07

We’re you in a car or on a bus?
Genuinely intrigued. If you were in a car, how many people were you travelling with?

I travel in a car and not by bus because of my SA. I just need the ability to have space away from people and to get out of a location if required. Weird I know, but it’s go by car or not leave the house- I’d prefer to not get back to the point where I can’t leabe the house.

With that in mind, I don’t tend to go out unless I need to as I am aware of the damage done to the environment. Also, I live not far from the town centre, so much traffic.

MrSpock · 08/08/2018 23:09

Of course we have that freedom. You describe most of us. What are you even talking about?

My point is it’s expected that women work, it’s expected two parents work, it’s met with derision when you say you want to be a SAHP.

KoolAidPickle · 08/08/2018 23:10

My point is it’s expected that women work, it’s expected two parents work, it’s met with derision when you say you want to be a SAHP

must be the people you know, its certainly not my experience at all.

Nicknacky · 08/08/2018 23:11

I think it should be expected that women work during their working years. Being a SAHP isn’t forever.

Feedthemachine1 · 08/08/2018 23:11

someone above mentioned the cycling event in london and the drop in pollution ,what you didnt mention along with no cars was the fact there were no buses or taxis either , which with their reliance on diesel are more polluting than petrol cars . i wish that all the buses and taxis had to be petrol/hybrid rather than diesel but the mayor in london /councils in the uk havent the guts to do it because the bus companies/taxi drivers will say they cant afford to change! so the private motorist gets blamed and punished for it! its wrong and should stop but it wont because
1 we are easy targets
2 we can be made money out of!
everything to do about this subject is money based rather than anything else.

MrSpock · 08/08/2018 23:14

I think it should be expected that women work during their working years. Being a SAHP isn’t forever.

I don’t want to work once my kids are in school, like I’ve seen some suggest. I want to be around to ensure they have a cooked meal, to be on the PTA, to grow our food, to take them out, to have an organised house and help out DP, and to do activities I wouldn’t have time for while working.

As I said it’s not for everyone but I think it’s sad the role is devalued. An organised home, someone always being there and being able to dedicate their time to the house and family is an important job.

GreenMeerkat · 08/08/2018 23:16

I agree OP. I used to work in a city centre and for the bus instead of driving (mainly because parking was a colossal nightmare). I'd often see people in cars alone driving the entire bus route and think they could easily just hop on a bus.

I drive now but I don't work in a bus route anymore and the area I work in is not one I'd like to be hanging around waiting for a bus either.

But if I went back to working in the city centre I would get a bus or train.

ivykaty44 · 08/08/2018 23:16

Feedthemachine

Taxis here all run on lpg as it’s half the price of other fuel

Many black cabs do due to expense

Nicknacky · 08/08/2018 23:17

Good you you. It’s nor devalued at all and a very valid choice.

I do have an organised home even though I work. And time to dedicate to family.

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