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AIBU?

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Original poster

to feel car driving is frequently unjustified

999 replies

Clairetree1 · 08/08/2018 09:18

Having sat in a traffic jam yesterday, in which I counted 10 buses being held up by around 45 cars, many of which only had one person in.

So say 60 people in cars holding up 600 people in buses....

just as a snapshot, throughout the whole journey, each person in a car seems to hold up 10 people in a bus, and if the cars were not there, those car travelers could easily fit on the buses, and everyone would be moving at least 3x as fast,

and I can't really see how this is allowed, or can be justified.

If you are in a city, or in another area with an adequate bus route, and are physically able to use the bus, how do you justify to yourself the danger, inconvenience and lethal pollution you subject everyone else to? Not to mention the further damage to the environment caused by concreting over parking spaces, car manufacture, etc.

I know some people are going to say they need the time, but if cars were banned from our cities and more people on public transport, everyone would be moving faster.

I know some people are going to say they are disabled, or have too much to carry, but some people who are disabled or have a lot to carry do use buses, they often have no choice! it doesn't automatically preclude you.

I know some people are just going to say they have a right to, but really, do you? Pollution is killing thousands of people a year in the UK, not to mention those killed in car crashes, the environmental damage done including global warming, and the sheer inconvenience to everybody else.

I know a couple of cities are planning on banning private cars, and I know petrol cars are on their way out, so things might well improve, but I just don't understand how we reached this position in the first place, so much death and destruction and time taken away by an entitled privileged few with such a selfish habit I can't understand how they justify to themselves.

I don't expect many people to agree with me, I think this privilege is so deeply ingrained in our culture that people genuinely feel they have a right to drive cars, when perfectly adequate public transport exist.

I don't think there is any moral right at all though, I think it is morally wrong in every way

OP posts:
MrSpock · 08/08/2018 22:40

I would like to see a study on how many would give up given the choice. I’m not denying some would not but I know a lot of families where one parent, not necessarily the mother, would prefer to not work.

MrSpock · 08/08/2018 22:41

Green

That’s a fair point and I agree to some extent. I do think people can do more though!

MrSpock · 08/08/2018 22:43

You've said on another thread that your DP is very career motivated, so maybe emphasise community duty and family life to him before everyone else.

Which is fine because one of us is not and one of us is more focused on the domestic sphere.

Etymology23 · 08/08/2018 22:43

feed I recognise they are probably just as bad: but when a bike weighs a small fraction of that of a car, then the pollution (per bike) will also be a fraction of that if a car, because less energy is needed to mold the metal, less metal is needed, less additives are needed, less plastic is needed etc etc.

Nicknacky · 08/08/2018 22:43

MrsSpock How would that study be worded?

“Would you give up work if benefits paid the same amount”? I think many of us would say “hell yeah” particularly after a bad day at work.

Or “would you give up work if it meant you were in financial difficulty”....errr no I wouldn’t.

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 08/08/2018 22:44

@mrspock most of my social group would choose to work...and do. Very few are doing it out of complete necessity. We all have careers that we’ve worked work and are very proud of. I know a few who would do a different job but none that would give up completely.

BakedBeans47 · 08/08/2018 22:44

It doesn’t, my point is that wages should be in line with living costs that support one parent being able to support a family.

Well they’re not. So what’s the point in wanging on about “community duty” and “loss to society” etc?

Nicknacky · 08/08/2018 22:44

MrsSpock Genuine question, do you have an issue with both parents having careers?

MrSpock · 08/08/2018 22:45

“Would you give up work to be a SAHP if it were financially possible?”

“What level of finance would you need to be able to do this?”

“Would you be happy to not earn an income of your own?”

For starters.

Nicknacky · 08/08/2018 22:46

They are woolly questions. Pointless questions.

But to answer them....my answer would be no. I don’t work just for the money.

MrSpock · 08/08/2018 22:46

most of my social group would choose to work...and do. Very few are doing it out of complete necessity. We all have careers that we’ve worked work and are very proud of. I know a few who would do a different job but none that would give up completely.

What career, if you don’t mind me asking?

Genuine question, do you have an issue with both parents having careers?

No but I have an issue with both parents having to out of financial obligation and being forced to neglect their family life for it. I think parenthood is undervalued.

BakedBeans47 · 08/08/2018 22:47

Would you give up work to be a SAHP if it were financially possible?” NOPE

“What level of finance would you need to be able to do this?” N/A

“Would you be happy to not earn an income of your own?” NOPE

Nicknacky · 08/08/2018 22:48

How are parents neglecting their families, I don’t understand that?

I’m also proud of mine an my husbands career.

Cerseilannisterinthesnow · 08/08/2018 22:48

As I stated before my answer to all those questions would always be no, I enjoy working and having my own identity outside of my
Family and also the security of knowing that if anything happened between me and DH or to DH I would have my own finances to fall back on

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 08/08/2018 22:48

There is so much more to a career than money. Placing finance as the sole value of a career can be dangerous

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 08/08/2018 22:49

@mrspock I’m a university academic

MrSpock · 08/08/2018 22:49

I’m not saying that everyone is forced to work, or that everyone would give up.

I’m saying quite a lot would but don’t have the choice.

BakedBeans47 · 08/08/2018 22:49

I just don’t want to be a SAHM. It would bore the absolute tits off me.

Nicknacky · 08/08/2018 22:49

BlaaBlaaBlaa Absolutely agree.

MrSpock · 08/08/2018 22:50

I’m a university academic

I can see how that would be interesting and rewarding.

MrSpock · 08/08/2018 22:50

I just don’t want to be a SAHM. It would bore the absolute tits off me.

That’s fine. Not everyone has to. But the choice ought to be there.

ivykaty44 · 08/08/2018 22:51

Feedthemachine

Unfortunately I would have to disagree with you, with pollution at an all time high and killing people prematurely, causing heart disease. I can’t see that leaving it to the individual to decide whether to pollute or not is an option any longer.

A child died in London recently and her case notes showed she suffered when pollution in the city was high

Ride London took place two weekends ago and as many roads were shut for 12 hours pollution levels dropped dramatically

And pollution is higher inside the car than out, so pedestrians and cyclists breath in less pollution than people inside cars

Nicknacky · 08/08/2018 22:52

I think you are placing a lot of emphasis of salary. I earn a decent salary but working is more than that for me. I could easily stay at home but I’m not unusual in that I don’t want to.

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 08/08/2018 22:53

It is. Very much so. I’ve also done a significant amount of research into women and careers so you’ve touched a particular sore point with your latest comments.

Alibongo0001 · 08/08/2018 22:53

Where I live you'd need a mortgage to take the bus and then a teleporter to get home if you're out after 6pm or a Sunday. Council cuts make it very difficult.

There is a minimum price of £2.30 per person over 4 years which means it's £9.20 for my family whether we do 50 meters or the 1.5 miles to town. If you want to go anywhere else, Chang bus and pay the same to get to your next destination. No return fares so the exact price to get home. That's nearly £40 for 1 trip out!

To be honest We walk most places but if we don't drive, a taxi is half the price and takes us from door to door.