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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does anything think this is reasonable?

207 replies

FrazzledRockRed · 07/08/2018 20:37

Tiny new baby, aww. In the supermarket.
Walking down an aisle.
Boob out completely trying to get the baby to latch.
Wtf.
Does anyone think this is normal? I bf myself for the record.

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 07/08/2018 22:39

I would feed baby without my whole boob out and I seemed to manage.

Well aren't you lucky? The only time my ds latched on was when I had both boobs out and skin to skin. You really think everyone's boobs and babies are the same?

I see you've ignored my bottle question again.

StopAndChat · 07/08/2018 22:40

OP. You're on MN. You have to think that breastfeeding at any time any where is absolutely fine

Only if you're a grownup Grin

LyndorCake · 07/08/2018 22:40

I had to use a sheild and personally I couldn't get the sheild in position without getting my whole boob and nipple out. Amazingly, what works for one person doesn't always work for another.

ToadsforJustice · 07/08/2018 22:41

Multitasking. Normal.

kaytee87 · 07/08/2018 22:41

OP. You're on MN. You have to think that breastfeeding at any time any where is absolutely fine. If you think differently you'll be told your opinion is wrong.

And it is fine (anywhere a baby is allowed) and indeed protected in law. So if you think differently you are wrong.

NotAnotherNoughtiesTune · 07/08/2018 22:42

I'd be jealous.

Both my DDs wriggled like mad so it was impossible to do unless using two hands and sat down.

But nope not offensive at all.

CrochetBelle · 07/08/2018 22:44

OP. You're on MN. You have to think that breastfeeding at any time any where is absolutely fine

Of course it is! Why wouldn't it be?

Jesus, and to think there's people who think like you, that were allowed to breed.

kernowsailor · 07/08/2018 22:45

@CrochetBelle - damn you. Damn you again. Laughed out loud at your post and woke up my sleeping baby 🤬

agnurse · 07/08/2018 22:45

Would you rather have had to deal with a screaming baby? My mother breastfed all six of us, often feeding the current baby with the older ones looking on. Nobody died. (My oldest brother was 26 months old when our second brother was born. He saw Mum nursing and said to her, "Is he eating you up?" Mum reassured him this wasn't possible. If anyone has kids who are worried about that, you can tell them my Mum nursed 6 babies and she is still very much alive.)

agnurse · 07/08/2018 22:50

Touch

Exactly. I HIGHLY doubt any nursing mother is thinking about how much she wants to tempt any man within visual range with her great big tender leaking jugs. She just wants to feed her baby! I often ask people, if they passed a cow nursing a calf in a field would they be marching up to the farmhouse and telling the farmer how DISGUSTING that was and couldn't he put them in a SHED or something because no one should have to SEE THAT in PUBLIC? Of course not! In fact they'd likely turn to their child and say, "Oh, how cute! Look how the mama cow is feeding her baby!" Yet a woman goes to feed HER baby in public (potentially saving everyone a great deal of money in future health care costs and doing the very best thing for her baby) and everyone has a meltdown.

DwangelaForever · 07/08/2018 22:51

Anyone saying would you question a mum feeding a baby a bottle going round the supermarket - yes I would, honestly, drop the shop and take the time to sit and feed your child, no need to do it on the move in the middle of an aisle ffs

Goldmandra · 07/08/2018 22:52

She could have sat in the shoe section on a comfortable bench.

She COULD have used a wrap or cover.

She COULD have returned to her car to feed.

She COULD have turned into a quiet corner to establish the latch.

She COULD have chosen to bottle feed her baby instead.

She COULD have done all sorts of things to make herself or freaks who can't cope with seeing BFing more comfortable.

The point is that she didn't do any of those things. She did what was right for her and her baby and that is exactly what she should have done.

A glimpse of her boob did you no harm. If you saw it for longer than a glimpse, you're the one with issues.

Nobody is (or should ever feel) obliged to BF in private.

KurriKurri · 07/08/2018 22:53

Well I guess the baby needed feeding and she got her boob out to feed hoping the baby would latch on straight away - if it had and you'd seen her walking round cradling the baby to her breast you'd probably have thought nothing on it. Unfortunately babies can be awkwards sometimes especially when they are new born.

If the baby needs feeding you can hardly flash your boob at it then pop it away while baby screams and you drip milk up and down the fruit aisle.

crispysausagerolls · 07/08/2018 22:53

OP for someone who has children and has breastfed, you are very unempathetic! She had a newborn, perhaps she was a FTM? Therefore nervous and unsure? Perhaps she didn’t have a sling as you seem to thing she should’ve? Her baby was presumably screaming or about to, and needed comforting. Perhaps she didn’t want to go all the way to sit down, and perhaps she didn’t have a muslin or wasn’t adept at covering herself. It probably wasn’t ideal for her and she probably wasn’t comfortable but why the hell shouldn’t she feed a hungry baby?! I can’t stand all the BF judgement! I have to feed my newborn on a bench in the park whilst walking my dog and I really don’t give a shit who it offends, because my baby is hungry. And that’s all I care about. What a shitty, shitty post.

CakeNinja · 07/08/2018 22:53

Oh the shoe section 🤦🏽‍♀️ Of course!
Op, the baby needed feeding, she fed the baby. I don’t get how this is shocking at all Confused - is it seriously just because you saw her breast?

I remember breastfeeding my firstborn while pushing her empty buggy with one hand and holding her with the other at the same time as walking through my local shopping centre. A friend of mine saw me and came over. We were having a chat and she suddenly realised I was feeding my baby. She pushed the buggy the rest of the way for me.

Being a young mum, not many people ‘expected’ me to breastfeed sadly. My midwife was absolutely instrumental to me being able to do it, she was insistent that I could do it and be confident with it. I’m so pleased that I did it (only for 9 months but even so, I bloody did it).
I fed in all kinds of places because no one wants to hear a screaming hungry baby.
Some people can’t win.

ShesABelter · 07/08/2018 22:56

I personally never done it but genuinely wouldn't think anything of it if I seen someone else doing it at all.

atomicfission · 07/08/2018 22:57

pretending it was a gun and ‘shooting’ passers by with it - I have only ever done that in the privacy of my own home Grin

ChocolateAddicted yes I can reach my own but could never get any milk out at that angle. Everyone's tried, right? BlushGrin

OP why won't you answer Kaytee's question? Would you find it weird if she was giving her baby a bottle?

In answer to your question, yes it's normal. I've done it in all sorts of places. I was blessed with a baby who cried a lot and needed to be fed a lot, simple as that. If I was in a shop or on a train, surely better to feed him than inflict his loud crying on fellow shoppers / passengers for an hour? Or should I just have locked myself in my house for months, in order not to offend sensitive eyes?

Dwangela - in my local supermarket there aren't any seats or quiet corners. Should I abandon my trolley of shopping in order to go to a local cafe? Why should I stop anyway? I'm (luckily) very able to feed my baby whilst walking around. Why shouldn't I? Not causing him digestive problems, or inconveniencing anyone is it? Have you never eaten a snack on-the-go?

IceCreamFace · 07/08/2018 23:01

Was anyone harmed or traumatised by the sight of her boob? If not I'd just carry on as usual.

Fillybuster · 07/08/2018 23:03

I’ve bf babies on the tube in rush hour, on planes, trains, sitting in the British museum (its very calm in with the Elgin marbles...) and in all sorts of random places. Never whilst walking, but that’s cos I’m simply not that coordinated.

What was it that bothered you so much op?
The fact that it was the supermarket? (But surely that’s the most appropriate place for food?!)
The fact she was walking?
Or the naked breastfeeding?

In any case, YADWBU!

user764329056 · 07/08/2018 23:05

Why the fuck should she not react in the most obvious and natural way to her baby being hungry?

looondonn · 07/08/2018 23:09

leave the poor woman alone

who knows what she has been going through

had loads of people judge me as a single first time mother - well they can f the f* off

Lalalalalolololololo · 07/08/2018 23:19

The only thing that’s not normal about this scenario is that someone upthread compared it to having a wank in a supermarket aisle.

Eveforever · 07/08/2018 23:24

I breastfeed. I don't think women breastfeeding women should have to hide in a corner. I've never seen someone in the middle of the supermarket with her entire boob out to bf. Although I breastfeed and although I don't believe women should have to hide away when doing the most natural thing in the world, it would cross my mind that she could try and be a bit more discreet if she has to get her whole boob out in order to bf.

ToeToToe · 07/08/2018 23:39

Why are people bothered about seeing a whole boob out when bf'ing a baby? It's a boob - feeding an infant.

I've lost count over the years of the number of times I've seen page 3 and similar in public. And that's for male titillation, not the natural act of feeding a baby.

LaurieMarlow · 07/08/2018 23:46

it would cross my mind that she could try and be a bit more discreet if she has to get her whole boob out in order to bf.

Well she could. Or she could decide she has enough to worry about in meeting a newborn's needs and not concern herself with 'discretion' for the benefit of strangers who can't cope with seeing a bit of boob.

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