Am I being a wee bit over-sensitive? Please don't flame me too badly as I'm aware that it's not the worst thing in the world and probably no big deal to some people.
A few nights ago I went to see a certain celebrity at a show. OP and I really liked Celeb and I would listen in whenever I heard his voice on the radio. After the show, my other half and I bought two books and stood in line to ask him to sign them. Celeb seemed to be very approachable and chatted to everyone in the queue, signing their books and personalising them with coloured pens. My book choice was based purely on a word in the title that is relevant to me. The words forms part of my Twitter name and is also relevant as it is also the dressing-up outfit that I use when operating as an environmental activist (believe it or not) in a campaign group that I support. A woman worked her way down the queue and wrote down everyone's choice of dedication on a post-it note so that Celeb would be able to read our dedications easily.
He wrote something nice on DP's book, saying that we were 'Gentle protectors of XXX', who is our beloved cat.
When I handed him my book, he wrinkled his nose and repeated the two words on the post-it. He said that in the past, a woman had given him a signature request with very similar wording. He had asked her what those words meant to her and she said that it was a name that she had given herself, so he had told her that she would forget about the reason for those words at a later date and he wasn't going to write them.
He asked me why I had chosen those words and I explained about the environmental campaign. When he asked which campaign, I explained the serious environmental damage that was involved in this fight to protect an important wildlife area and he said that Trump was trying to do similar in the US, without any regard for the environment. So far, so good! The two words on my dedication request were completely inoffensive and uncontroversial in the extreme and would be viewed as positive words.
However, he said that when the previous woman had given him that similar request, he had decided to write a certain word on her dedication instead. He went on to explain that she had been really angry and walked away, refusing to take the book. I did feel uneasy at this point but didn't want to make anything of it so faked amusement and laughed awkwardly at what he was saying. The CF then said that he was going to write the same on my book in addition to my request and when I looked down, he was writing 'Whore' in stencil style, then filled it in in red pen, right in the centre of the page. I was stunned and felt really awful about it but tried to brave it out (fecking hell, are we socialised to be compliant and not make a fuss or what??!!), laugh it off and appear to be cool with it, despite not feeling like laughing at all.
On the way home my partner and I both felt flat and extremely let down by Celeb. My view is that he took complete advantage of his position and wrote an unpleasant and misogynistic word, purely because he could. Celeb is extremely clever and very obviously witty with much of his humour being taken from observations in life. I have no idea why he would have sharpened his claws on me. I am averagely ancient, do not look, talk or behave like an arse and am also not very confident (apart from when wearing my activist kit!), so I know that I couldn't possibly have come over as negative or unpleasant in any way towards him. Why would I, as I had enjoyed seeing the 'Evening with' and was in a great mood as was everyone else.
My partner is really disappointed in Celeb too and he thought that it was an offensive and completely unnecessary thing to do. Our evening was spoiled and I feel humiliated and thoroughly shat upon. Celeb is also quite lucky as if he had done this to many women I know, they would have chewed him up and spat out the remains. It's possible that I was being unreasonable though, as other people may not have been offended.
I now have a book that has been personalised with a word that I find very offensive, that is also really misogynistic and an insult to me and to women generally. A mooch around the internet found that Celeb claims he isn't a misogynist, he is a misanthrope as he hates everyone equally. My partner and I would dispute that!
I know that it would be better if I was annoyed but instead, I felt flat and more than a bit gutted, tbh. There's an old phrase about never meeting your heroes. I should have taken note!