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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think my boyfriend charging me for decorating is a bit crazy?

523 replies

lucyloo345 · 06/08/2018 10:53

I've been seeing him 9 months and he is a professional painter and decorator.
I need my stairs and hall doing so asked him on his day off if he wouldn't mind helping.
I got quoted £350 from a guy a couple of years ago but couldn't afford it at the time.
My boyfriend says he will do it next Sunday ...tells me to get the paper and paste.
Then he says shall we say £285 ?
Ok ..so I was going to give him something but the fact he is making it like a official job has annoyed me a bit.
Would you be a bit taken back?

OP posts:
firehousedog1 · 06/08/2018 11:35

Jeez you'd think he could give a freebie to his girlfriend Grin yes I think its fair she pays for the materials but come on mate she is your girlfriend do it as a nice gesture.

Celebelly · 06/08/2018 11:36

I'm also not sure how much this is mate's rates. If he's doing it in one day (he said he would do it on Sunday) then he's charging her £35 an hour if he works for eight hours. Even if he works for 10 hours that's almost £30 an hour. Not bad for a homer on the weekend...

HermioneGoesBackHome · 06/08/2018 11:36

And thinking about it more, I would kindly say NO to him and go to see another if his colleagues.
If anything goes wrong with him, despite charging full price, you will have no recourse, no way to sort of problem easily ‘because he is your bf and did you a favour’.

Original poster
lucyloo345 · 06/08/2018 11:36

I'm a admin assistant so can't exactly help him out.
He stays at mine 3 nights a week where I cook his tea and I do his washing ( sometimes ironing all depends if he can be bothered )
This is the first thing I've really asked ..
I also dropped his sister from Leeds to Manchester airport and didn't think of charging

OP posts:
KlutzyDraconequus · 06/08/2018 11:36

So what's stopping a woman going from none bloke to another dependant on hat she needs fixing?

Car trouble? Date a mechanic
Pc problems? Date an IT tech
Decorating need doing? Get yourself a decorator.

A 9month relationship is hardly asking a husband to do some bits around the house.

I wonder how many girlfriends have had him do some work for them in the past?

Storm4star · 06/08/2018 11:37

I agree with some other pp's. Big red flag because either he doesn't see you as being "worth" giving up one measly free day for nothing. Or he will indeed be one of those tight bastards in a marriage. Either option isn't good. I moved into a house once which was more or less covered in that awful wood chip wallpaper, which is an absolute nightmare to remove. My friends DH did it for me at the cost of £100 and it took him more than one day. That wasn't even my partner, just a friends partner! So yours is definitely being tight.

Celebelly · 06/08/2018 11:37

It's playing the long game a bit to be with someone for 9 months just so you can get your hall decorated 😂😂

Raven88 · 06/08/2018 11:37

Is he self employed or does he work for someone?

Storm4star · 06/08/2018 11:38

He stays at mine 3 nights a week where I cook his tea and I do his washing

Start charging him for this!

ShumpaLumpa · 06/08/2018 11:38

He stays at mine 3 nights a week where I cook his tea and I do his washing ( sometimes ironing all depends if he can be bothered )

Well that changes things completely. YANBU. I would stop doing this for him immediately. Or charge him. Restaurant rates for meals, service launderette rates for washing and hotel rates for sleeping over.

MatildaTheCat · 06/08/2018 11:38

Time to send him an invoice for all that laundry and pertrol then.

He either has a relationship where you help one another out ( normal), or one where every single thing is tallied up and paid for. Can’t have it both ways.

QueenDoria · 06/08/2018 11:39

Please please leave him.
Or you'll be in mumsnet in 20 years complaining that although you've given your partner 4 kids but he wouldn't marry you (it's just a bit of paper), he wouldn't put the house in joint names, he won't pay CM, and just all the other right arsed things that men think they can get away with.
Leave, leave, leave....

LoisWilkerson1 · 06/08/2018 11:39

I supppose so harsh 9 months isn't much. Also I suspect he just doesnt want to do it for free as it might lead to op asking for more help or freebies for family etc

HermioneGoesBackHome · 06/08/2018 11:39

I’m Shock by some of the words in this thread.
‘USED’ really? Do you think someone who is dating another person and is asking for HELP because they happen to have the competence is USING them??

Because it happens to be his trade doesn’t mean he can’t help people close to him.

Original poster
lucyloo345 · 06/08/2018 11:40

No it's his own business.
He employs a few other men to help him out.

OP posts:
BlueberryPud · 06/08/2018 11:41

If I were him I’d wonder about where the favours will end

Exactly what I was thinking. 9 months is hardly any time at all to be in a relationship. And when you have a particular skill that's in demand, friends can soon start to take the piss. Maybe he's had enough of being taken for a mug. Next it'll be the bathroom, then the kitchen.
Perhaps he's starting as he means to go on, until such time as they are absolutely established as a long term unit. Maybe he doesn't want to feel used. We don't know how he feels at all.
I wouldn't get rid of him just on these grounds.

Original poster
lucyloo345 · 06/08/2018 11:41

I would never take advantage
It's not in my nature
Everything is always 50/50
If it was such a awkward job I would do it myself.
I papered my living room and bedroom

OP posts:
AlonsosLeftPinky · 06/08/2018 11:44

There's a bit of a difference between a friend or uncle, and someone you're romantically, intimately and sexually involved with.

I'm doing some work for my mother at the weekend but wouldn't dream of charging her for it. Bloody hell.

ShumpaLumpa · 06/08/2018 11:44

OP, has this changed the way you see him?

Are you going to continue to cook and wash for him? Please say no!

bigKiteFlying · 06/08/2018 11:44

I think I'd rather pay someone else - as if anything is done wrong you would have some come back and the reduction isn't that great.

I do get there are CF and trade people often get lacthed onto but given the fact you do things for him and first time you ask for some help he wants to charge you - I'd be worried your time and resources have no value in his eyes.

Raven88 · 06/08/2018 11:44

If he employs people would he be using of them and paying them.

NameChanger22 · 06/08/2018 11:44

Over the years I've helped lots of friends decorate, clear gardens, assemble furniture, alter clothes, look after their children etc etc. Never once have I ever considered charging any of them for anything.

I don't see your relationship going very far.

Original poster
lucyloo345 · 06/08/2018 11:44

It might only be 9 months but we've talked about the future etc
I see him every day and he stays over a few nights a week.

OP posts:
Storm4star · 06/08/2018 11:45

9 months has been enough time for OP to cook for him and do all his washing though hasn't it. But now she asks for a days help and he charges her! Or should she say "no I'm not cooking your meals, or all your friends and family will ask me to cook theirs" No of course not. I don't know why people are making excuses for him being a tight ass!

Original poster
lucyloo345 · 06/08/2018 11:45

Tbh it has ..I thought tight arse.
Sorry if that makes me sound cheeky but it did

OP posts:
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