To think my boyfriend charging me for decorating is a bit crazy?

[lucyloo345]

I've been seeing him 9 months and he is a professional painter and decorator.
I need my stairs and hall doing so asked him on his day off if he wouldn't mind helping.
I got quoted £350 from a guy a couple of years ago but couldn't afford it at the time.
My boyfriend says he will do it next Sunday ...tells me to get the paper and paste.
Then he says shall we say £285 ?
Ok ..so I was going to give him something but the fact he is making it like a official job has annoyed me a bit.
Would you be a bit taken back?

Wooo if you had a girlfriend who fed you, cleaned for you and did your ironing, you'd charge her?

Until you're living together the best she can hope for is mates rates

But - he is living at hers half the week, rent free, for all intents and purposes. Plus she's throwing in free washing and meals.

He should be delighted for this chance to repay her generosity.

Sounds like wooooo is the type of bloke who would charge his own mother tbh...

lucyloo345 does he ever put his hand in his pocket to pay for the ingredients for the meals you cook him?

Just because she's being a doormat doesn't mean he has to be one too. If they've been "together" so long, they should be having proper conversations about all this and properly agreeing who does what for eachother.

Does he buy washing powder, even? Or anything to replace the stuff he uses at your house?

@Barbaro I presume that you are not in a relationship, or at least a happy one. Newsflash, this is not how they work

You OFFERED to do his washing? So his Mum said 'I'm not doing your washing you man child - do your own!' and he pulled a sad face about how hard he worked to you and you pulled a happy face: of course -I have less valuable free time than you -I can do all your ironing, washing, cooking when you are with me -I'm here to serve you.
Does he pay for your time, water, heating, rent, food etc...?

I think my conversation would be like this, don't worry about the stairs, I'm going to get a friend to help me one weekend. Get a friend who doesn't charge you.
Next time he arranges to come round -say dinner is at yours tonight.
Next time he comes to do his washing -my washing would be in -I don't have time to do yours. etc

@pacer142 Ditto

pacer142 - great ‘I’m all right jack so fuck you’ - mentality hey ??

Why can’t you send him a text saying “ I was surprised thaf you expect to charge for your time to help me do some decorating when I feed you 3 nights a week and do all your washing. We split everything 50/50 and I’ve never asked you to contribute to the food and extra bills. You were joking, right?”

This is exactly what happens when a man child takes the proverbial!!

OP you are right to be miffed at him because he obviously doesn't understand the concept of compromise in a relationship!

Genuine people in relationships help each other out and this is a prime example of him absolutely not respecting anything you do for him at all and he thinks your his surrogate mother!!

He’s maybe had girlfriends in the past who have had work done by him then dumped him.

Friend of a friend had her whole house done up by serial dating tradesmen.

Perhaps he actually was joking any chance of that Lucy ?

Not everything in life can be given a monetary value and seen in such stark terms as it being a job, therefore he gets paid. Successful relationships can't work that way. You should be able to expect a boyfriend to help you out, to not see this as a financial exchange. It is not comparable to an ex's mother wanting free work, wooo!
The OP has a generous spirit. Bf does not. They are fundamentally incompatible and it's good that she has seen it before she finds herself pg or married to him.

OP, don't fret over how to raise it - he hasn't concerned himself with your feelings, when he gave you a quote.

Raisins, you seriously put your lodger out because he charged you for fixing things in the house?? In your post you went on about friendship, but where is the friendship if you are charging him rent?? Should your lodgers fix things around the house and still pay rent?? You sound really cheeky. If you are a landlord, then you are supposed to use some of the profit you make from rent money to maintain the house you are renting out! Why is it friendly and OK for you to take money from him every month for rent, and not friendly and OK for him to charge for doing your repairs??

There are some strange views on here. Someone said that the OP is "paying him to have sex with her", someone else suggested charging for sex, and someone else was outraged that he charges for decorating when he gets "cooking, washing and sex".
Do these people not realise that women can enjoy sex as much as men, and that sex isn't something women give to men as a favour to get benefits from the man?? Surely sex is equally enjoyed by both people in a healthy relationship???

I do agree with harsh - a oandlord uas a responsibility to keep the house secure and in good working order. People paying rent are not your friends and expecting favours while charging rent is blurring the lines.

The OPs updates change things for her of course, theirs isn’t an equal partnership.

That said, it shouldn’t be underestimated how much people do try to take advantage if you work for yourself.

I think a sensible conversation between OP and boyfriend is the way to go.

This reminds me of when my now long time ex 'D'H told me I ought to pay him for the vegetables he grew in our garden instead of buying them in the shops... never mind that I was making a home for his shattered 10yr old DS and making a good job of it too... it never occurred to me I might have billed him for that service

Ah! Happy Days. Not.

How did you actually respond op?

Friend of a friend had her whole house done up serial dating tradesmen

Cool story, bro, but needs more dragons.

harshbuttrue he charged £100 for helping secure the house, when it should be all-hands-on-deck to sort it in a reasonable world where things happen and people help. And £100????

I called out a specialist locksmith on a Sunday and only got charged £35.

As for Woooo (recurring os) Even my DH rolled his eyes at your comment. Oh but he's just taken 2 hours out of his day towards fixing DD2's laptop. He does IT stuff at work and he's on holiday. Maybe he should charge DD2 for his time. She's only 7, but does have a few pounds in her savings she could use.

Cool story, bro, but needs more dragons.

🐉

Hahaha I don’t give a shit if you believe it...though last I heard she was dating a bloke who delivered those veg boxes...and was getting hers every week for free

What's funny about that?