Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my boyfriend charging me for decorating is a bit crazy?

523 replies

lucyloo345 · 06/08/2018 10:53

I've been seeing him 9 months and he is a professional painter and decorator.
I need my stairs and hall doing so asked him on his day off if he wouldn't mind helping.
I got quoted £350 from a guy a couple of years ago but couldn't afford it at the time.
My boyfriend says he will do it next Sunday ...tells me to get the paper and paste.
Then he says shall we say £285 ?
Ok ..so I was going to give him something but the fact he is making it like a official job has annoyed me a bit.
Would you be a bit taken back?

OP posts:
ZeAs · 06/08/2018 14:16

Well, to be honest, we have to be open minded and think from his view as well:
he needs the money just as much the rest of us do
I mean this is where he gets his living
Maybe he could have given you a discount though? Hmm

MKroundabout · 06/08/2018 14:18

That's a bit off!

I'm surprised he didn't offer if they need doing. I don't think he sounds very kind.

Tell him you've found someone who'll do it cheaper...

YouTheCat · 06/08/2018 14:23

Why does he need the money? He lives rent free half the week with the OP and the other half with his mum.

I imagine, should you have kids with this loser, that he'd be one of the ones we hear about on MN so often who doesn't value your role at all unless you're bringing in money. I expect he'd leave you well short if you were on maternity.

magoria · 06/08/2018 14:23

It is also a red flag that his mother refused to do his washing. It is beneath him. It is a woman's work.

Knock that on the head right away.

Barbaro · 06/08/2018 14:24

As the joker said, if you're good at something never do it for free.

I can see his point. He should maybe charge less than that though, but it is his time that he is using. He could either be getting paid to do someone else's house or he could be doing something fun on his day off, not doing his job for free. £285 was maybe a bit too expensive though. £150-200 would have been better.

Popc0rn · 06/08/2018 14:24

"Well, to be honest, we have to be open minded and think from his view as well:
he needs the money just as much the rest of us do. I mean this is where he gets his living"

Did you miss the bit where the OP says he stays over 3 nights a week, with meals and laundry provided? Surely after 9 months that's worth ONE DAY of his help?! Oh, and if he still lives at home I doubt his living costs are particularly high Hmm

wafflyversatile · 06/08/2018 14:24

Maybe all of his girlfriends have needed some painting and decorating done a few months in and he feels taken advantage of.

as you say tell him you need to save up then every time you wash his clothes or iron tell him that's 30 minutes of decorating saved up!

blueskiesandforests · 06/08/2018 14:27

Barbaro I think the Joker may not be the best life guru... If you're good at something never do it for free isn't really universally applicable is it? Sex? Cooking for your family? Bringing up children? Sleeping? ...

Burntofferings0 · 06/08/2018 14:28

I didn’t see the post where he stays over three nights a week and eats food there.

Get rid!

Backtoblack1 · 06/08/2018 14:28

No way should he be charging you! Yes, take him out and treat him to a meal and drinks to say thank you but that’s about it!

Belindabauer · 06/08/2018 14:29

"He could be doing something better on his day off."
Yes like his own washing, ironing and cooking.
Instead of helping his girlfriend.

Belindabauer · 06/08/2018 14:30

I'll say it again.
Who the fuck doesn't have time to wash when they get two days off a week?!!!!!

ShadowWeaver · 06/08/2018 14:32

Take him up on his quote, then go out for the day.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 06/08/2018 14:35

As an aside, how the fuck does a single man who works 5 days a week with no dependents and lives in two homes part time that I’m assuming he doesn’t even have to clean as they are cleaned and looked after by two women (as well as being cooked for) not have the time to do his own laundry. Poor bugger I bet he has to wipe his own (lazy) arse.

Dadsbigsausages · 06/08/2018 14:37

He's a tight arse. Say you appreciate the quote and you're going to get one more before deciding who to go with. After all, you wanted him to do less a job than the first guy but his price hasn't really reflected that.

Two can play his game!

Dysania · 06/08/2018 14:38

So, if you were to take him up on this offer. You source the materials and have them in. You help him all day. He is provided tea/coffee, snacks, meals and then at the end you had over your partner £285. If you had £300 in cash is he going to give you change?
Then, he stays the night. You sleep in the same bed and his wallet has your money in it.
He comes the next night with his washing which you do after cooking him dinner again.
And he is fine with all of this? Please try to communicate how this is so not on to him. I'm gutted on your behalf OP

serbska · 06/08/2018 14:41

Who the fuck doesn't have time to wash when they get two days off a week?!!!!!

I know right!

Rudgie47 · 06/08/2018 14:42

Just get rid of him OP he taking from you and wont even help you out doing this little job. Just tell him to fuck off.

woooooooooooooooooooooooooo · 06/08/2018 14:46

Never commented before but I've got to offer a tradesman's opinion.
Until you're living together the best she can hope for is mates rates.

I'm a plasterer and I am sick of people wanting free work, even if I've got to buy materials. Or a price that isn't worth getting out of bed for, just because they know me.
An ex's mother wanted me to do a flat she was planning to sell, no intention of paying me because she was running over budget.

The man isn't a miserable b*stard, it's business (maybe he hates his job. How many of you want to do the same old stuff you always do when you've got time off?) you should be glad he's like that it'll be better in the long term.

Ignoramusgiganticus · 06/08/2018 14:48

Haven't you pointed out the food, washing and lift, discrepancy.

Present him with a bill that is divided by the above which totals exactly £285. If he can't see the point that you are making, and doesn't apologise profusely and immediately offer to do it for free, then please dump his sorry arse. I'm hoping he just didn't think, because I don't think I could get past this if he doesn't quickly see the error of his ways.

Caffeineaddict994 · 06/08/2018 14:50

A few month into my relationship with DP (a tiler) my parents had asked me to ask him if he'd do a bit in the kitchen - loose and cracked tiles, not a full job half a day max. I told them I'd ask but I expect you to pay him even if he says its on him (which he did) because it would be done on his free time. I told them what his day rate was and said give half - in the end they settled on buying him a crate of beer as he told them if they gave him money he'd just give it to me to give back.
That was about 2/3 months into the relationship, your BF is being a dick asking for that much, especially since your buying the materials yourself and planning to help! Mine bought materials himself including the replacement tiles and told my parents to go out for day and then fixed a few more cracked tiles in their conservatory just because he'd noticed them and that mean going out and sourcing the right tiles again which meant half a day turned into a full day. The crate of beer cost maybe £15 max so basically £15 for a full day's work plus fuel and material costs.
So considering all else you are doing for him (cooking, cleaning etc) I'd suggest getting him a crate of beer as 'payment' or getting someone else in and get rid of the cheeky fucker.

Pebblesandfriends · 06/08/2018 14:51

You could present him with a him for everything you do for him. I don't think I could be bothered with the games. Tell him thanks but no thanks, then do it yourself. Then no more feeding him and doing his washing. If he raises it just tell him he can't afford your rates Grin

MsJolly · 06/08/2018 14:53

@woooooooo - I think you're forgetting the fact that she cooks his meals and does his washing and ironing for free-who so you think is the free-loader here?!!

LeftRightCentre · 06/08/2018 14:54

RTT, woooo the man is a cocklodger. Doesn't have time to do his laundry my arse! Can't be arsed and thinks it's the job of women to service him. Get rid, OP, you're being mugged off.

Barbaro · 06/08/2018 14:55

If she is allowing him to stay over and eat her food and get her to wash his clothes for free, that's her fault for not saying 'pay up and did it yourself'. Why can't she speak up for herself?

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.