WIBU to uninvite my friend

[Kallo]

Name changed for this as it's quite specific.

Last night I was out with a group of mates, at an event where a couple I am friends with were also attending. Let's call them Bob and Margaret.

After the event me and my mates were going for a drink, I invited Bob and Margaret along. Bob was too tired but Margaret wanted to come along so Bob left and she waited with me for the others. Really I prefer Bobs company, although we have always socialised as a three. I decided to encourage Margaret to go home after Bob, and said I would see them in the week. She took the hint and went to catch up with Bob.

About 20 minutes later I got a text from Bob asking me that that was all about, and why I had treated Margaret that way. Margaret didn't contact me

Bob is the more extroverted of the two so I really thought it might be awkward or difficult with just her. She didn't look upset or anything she just said ok. They now don't want to see me for something we had planned this week.

I think I made the right call really and reckon I didn't have much choice, but now I think I have lost my friendship with Bob.

I do like her, I just didn't think it would work socially with her alone in that situation. I just wanted to avoid an awkward evening for all of us.&

That was for her to decide though wasn't it? She knew her husband wasn't going to be there but decided to go anyway. What you see as 'socially awkward' she may feel comfortable with, maybe she prefers to listen more than talk. Or maybe she wanted to push herself. It doesn't really matter why she wanted to come. All that matters is that she did and it was her choice.
You were rude. Margaret has a good 'un in Bob standing up for her against someone who treated her so badly.

You were very rude. I hope they've seen sense and dropped you because you're no kind of friend.

You were nasty. I hope Bob & Margaret find good friends to enjoy socializing with x

I’ve been Margaret. Trust me, she wasn’t o-fucking-k. She probably got home and cried like I did. And will spend every night out after worrying she isn’t welcome. I’d like to say I hope it happens to you, but it never does to people like you....

Maybe she saw this as a chance to get to know you better or learn to be more confident.

I just didn't think it would work socially with her alone in that situation
You are plain nasty. They are well rid of you,

Very mean girls

It was unkind of you. It was for
Margaret to decide whether she wanted to take up the invitation alone and whether that would be awkward, rather than up to you to revoke it. I don't think you're being altogether honest with yourself about why you didn't want her there either.

Just own it, OP. Admit to Margaret that you were rude and apologise for your own insecurities.

Bob and Margaret are well rid of you.You are astonishingly condescending and a shit friend really.

It's the weaselly way you are trying to justify it that is really sticking in my craw. PPs are right. You're a mean girl. I'm a Margaret.

OP you acted kind of shitty. It's really hard for socially awkward people to put themselves out there sometimes but in doing so you become at ease and learn more social skills. By acting the way you did you totally shot Margaret down and she probably feels like shit when she was trying to make an effort. You owe her a huge apology.

Wow, with friends like you who needs enemies. Poor Margaret

yes rude and unreasonable. Margaret is an adult who is perfectly capable of making decisions of her own - she decided to stay once she knew Bob was going

You seem to think you were in charge and in control and that you didnt have much choice in making the decision - but it was never yours to make

I do like her, I just didn't think it would work socially with her alone in that situation. I just wanted to avoid an awkward evening for all of us

That wasn't your call and I'm glad you've been called out on it. It's very possible that you'll be the one excluded next time and it'll be your own fault.

You need to apologise and not attach a load of excuses on the end.

You were rude, unreasonable, and mean.

Margaret is an adult who can decide for herself how comfortable she feels in social situations.

"Encouraging her to go home" sounds really awful, you could have taken a bit of extra care to make sure she was okay instead.

But you probably have ruined your friendship with both of them. If Bob has anything decent about him you have anyway. You did a horrible thing to his wife, just because you "prefer" him to her.

Not only rude and unkind but presumptuous and arrogant too.

Also i hope she (and Bob) tell you to do one when you apologise.

Why is it your job to say whether or not she would find the situation awkward? Don't make excuses. You didn't want her there and made that clear. If I were her I would be really hurt, and if I were Bob I would be fuming. If you want to save your friendship apologise Unreservedly and don't try and explain your logic and I agree flowers are the least you could do.

Kallo, either way you were unreasonable. Just curious to know if you are male, and therefore more naturally relaxed with Bob, or female?

You really can’t see it, can you OP? I don’t think you actually realise how hurtful and rude what you did was.
Any true friend would have welcomed Margaret and made an effort to make things easier for her and facilitated her joining the group.
You behaved like a child on the playground excluding another child from the group. Awful!

You invited her
you have been extremely rude
Why do you need this pointed out to you ?

I still dont believe this isnt a reverse because you behaved in an appallingly rude and unreasonable way.

And after making it so
Clear you are only interested in Bob, if i were either of them id be keeping Bob away from you.

Is anyone else amused by the OPs breathtaking certainty that she had this social situation sussed and how she fucked up any friendship she could possibly have with her preferred company?